Adioz Diary 🩋

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Now I think I should “Start Journaling” here as well as I will post “Quotes” too.

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I made “My SCHEDULE” yesterday.
:white_check_mark: Successfully completed
:x: Not Completed

“My SCHEDULE” :

Wake up 5am
Brush your teeth 2 times
Affirmation
Gratitude
Workout
Hair Care
Face wash after coming from outside
Body cream daily
Meds with water (before food)
Breakfast compulsory
Meds with water (before food)
Book reading
Lunch
Meds with water (before food)
Dinner
Journaling

Why these things are important?
Because I miss most of the things which effects my health in some way.
Also I will try to find out the answers of some questions in my mind, which I didn’t get it.

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2023-12-29T05:20:00Z

Today I relapsed at night. Yes it’s bad.

The reason behind is unable to sleep. I thought to watch a movie but I didn’t find any good movie. I was thinking to talk to someone because I was feeling lonely but that time also no-one known available online here.
I tried alot struggling to sleep till late night 1am then when I was scrolling shots in YouTube suddenly I feel strong urges. I tried to stop it but eventually my belief wasn’t strong enough that I can stop myself from my own actions.
Tbh I have many friends here but still I feel lonely most of the times.

Someone said that stay busy that way your mind won’t wander anywhere. So, I made this schedule. Starting wasn’t good but rest of the time I think I should utilise it well.

:white_check_mark: Successfully completed
:x: Not Completed
:yellow_circle: yet to do
:orange_circle: half done

“My SCHEDULE” :
:x: Wake up 5am
:white_check_mark: Brush your teeth 2 times
:white_check_mark: Affirmation
:white_check_mark: Gratitude
:x:Workout
:white_check_mark: Hair Care
:x: : Face wash after coming from outside/in night time before sleep
:white_check_mark: Body cream daily(rashes)
:x: Meds with water (before food)
:white_check_mark: Breakfast compulsory
:x: Meds with water (before food)
:white_check_mark: Book reading
:x: Meds with water (before food)
:white_check_mark: Lunch
:x: Meds with water (before food)
:white_check_mark: Dinner
:white_check_mark: Journaling

  • Journaling I will try do everyday here.

I tried reading book today, I felt headache, unable to focus and feeling irritated. Yeah I do feel boring most of the times but still doing it. the side effects I felt that might be because of pmo.
Since I am Relapsing heavily I felt like I am feeling weak,& feeling so more fear than I use to feel before. I am feeling like my heart becoming weak day by day.
After a long time I feel good because I have taken step or action towards my life betterment.
I can’t be consistent in these habits because of circumstances changing soon but I will try to be consistent.

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You can do it mate :muscle:

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HOW IS THIS AMAZING MESSAGE :sweat_smile:
5 months later i think things changed with your actions
if not Keep working and focus , enjoy your breath and life
this is one life not because past was not like we want it
we still have chance , remember .

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How are you bro ? Its been a while I’ve seen you

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I have noticed many changes since day one of joining here. In the beginning, I was very motivated, curious, inspired, and creative. I created many challenges, but I couldn’t even bring changes in my own life. I tried everything every single time, but I didn’t succeed. However, one time I made a huge streak. Since that day, many years have passed, and I can’t even surpass that milestone. I tried many times to delete my account, but when I started suffering, I came back to the same platform. I made many friends here; some found ways to treat their addiction well, and some of them have already rewired.

From the beginning until now, I’ve seen changes in my streak. I can control my urges, but only for a few days. Previously, I couldn’t even pass a single day without wasting my energy. I know many people have heard my speeches like this many times, but this is the reality of my life.

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Mistake which lead to relapse is Webseries which involves erotic scenes, it’s okay to watch once if it’s unintentionally come in between. But when it comes and the act we do afterwards intentionally or unintentionally that really matters.
I have opportunity to not relapse but if that time I would’ve any physical support with whom I can talk to. I would’ve pass this day without any relapse. I know one day without any support I can handle this urge.

People who are broken heart :broken_heart:, sad, financially broken, or unemployed, no goals, No passion, No physical activity involved in their daily routine get into trap of this bad habit which steal their true happiness in any form whether it destroy your relationship, your progress in your job, it effects your daily life.

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I can relate to a very deep level since I have the same issue. Each and every webseries has come kind of scenes and now-a-days they openly show naked people without blur.

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