Hey everyone, I hope you are doing good?!
I myself have not been doing great lately. I am 26 and have been addicted to ■■■■ since I was 13. The addiction for a long time never impacted my life for the worse as I liked being alone, I did not care about getting a gf and it was the best way to throw all negative emotions and stress away. That changed as I got older. Once I started living alone in 2020 and with all the free time during Uni and covid it got more excessive: fapping through nights, only getting up to go to the toilet or get a meal, sometimes not showering for a couple of days, especially when I found pornografic videogames which combined two addictions. In between I spent my time bingung YT. I could still hold up in private life, graduated and found a good job in my field. However the waist of time continued. I knew that I was throwing away the best years of my life by starring at a stupid screen. I always needed more, newer and more extreme fetishes to give me a kick. Some nights I cried, some mornings I felt the pain in my back, my crotch and my face from all those sessions. And still I believed it was just my way of dealing with stress… Afterall I don’t drink, gamble, smoke, I eat healthy and have a good carrer right?! But I also had a change in values: I want a family, I want to read and write and get my body in the best shape it can get in this life… and so I struggled, the rational vs. the primal, my values against my addiction. I guess it is a little harder as an introvert already working in a field with lots of human contact and an increased desire to be alone, to refrain from this addiction… well doing so has been quite rough for me so far. I have studied many tactics, been creative in techniques to fight against it but I keep going back after a week… the urge becomes to strong. Just last week I managed almost 7 days before relapsing on saturday. Those relapses tend to be even more extreme than fapping regularly. (Just this weekend I did it 11 times). Now I am a little broken, but also optimistic, as I have never opened up about this before. I always thought life did not give me enough challenges and that I had to create them on my own to grow, well turns out I just ignored mine for the most part, but this is ending here and now…
Have a good one!
It is well…
Just know you’re not alone on this journey of recovery and it’s not an easy one, but we’ll triumph.
Here’s a brief on my story My whole life has been a struggle
I might have quit ■■■■, I might not beat my meat up to 7 times even in a week whenever I relapsed…but it was never like this 10 years, 15 years, 25 years ago.
A piece of advice…don’t fight both at the same time, start by getting rid of the trigger of masturbation, which is ■■■■ or anything close to it.
So discard any source of ■■■■, social media, get a ■■■■ blocker to block websites of such, or set your browser to do that instead.
Then talk to someone you trust about the issue. If the person can care enough for you to always check on you and hold you accountable from time to time…that will go a long way.
You can do it!
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