Day 18,
Doing good. Had a very busy day don’t have any energy left.
Day 19,
Again had a very busy day at work. Today my back was aching a bit and I don’t know why I was feeling if I would have masturbated I would have felt good. There are few hot female coworkers in my office , I thought of fantasizing about them and masturbating.
But again I rationalized my thoughts and kept pushing through the day.
Urges come every day and knock my door, but I never welcome them, they are unwanted guests in my brain.
Plus I complete 30 more GRE vocab words.
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Day 20
Couldnt sleep well last night plus the back was hurting. So I woke up early in the morning but wasn’t feeling well.
Was not at all feeling good, so I masturbated ( no porn or fantasy) once in the morning after that slept like a baby. Surprisingly my back stopped hurting and my mood got better, may be my body was stressed from the rough days at work.
So I masturbated first time in 20 days, honestly I didn’t feel guilty because I didn’t think about any girl , it was quick and I was relieved after the deed was done.
Though from afternoon till evening urges peaked but I didn’t respond to them. Was tempted to masturbate one more time but I didn’t do it.
Maybe I need to change my goal, I am planning to limit masturbation to maybe once in 10 days and no porn rule stays as it is.
What counts as relapse from now on-
1.Masturbating multiple times in a day or a week would count as a relapse.
- Masturbating to porn or gifs or memes or litertoica , any digital media will count as relapse.
I wouldn’t count this as a relapse because -
-
If I reset my counter then I will feel like to relapse properly and I have experience with that , that stage goes on for 4-5 days 3 times each day with porn. And that will be true defeat for me. I would turn into a zoombie for atleast a week.
-
May be masturbating in regulation could be good for me in the beginning of this journey , my primary goal is to be free from porn addiction.
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Day 21 - no porn
Day 1 - no fap
Doing good not much to write for today.
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Day 22,
Doing good had a chill day at work and had a nice back day.
Urges not bothering yet.
Let’s see what tomorrow holds.
Day 23,
Doing good whent to the gym for chest and triceps. Had a very nice workout.
Also prepared 50 words and practiced some RC passages today.
I don’t know if I have gotten so much deep into work or what but I don’t feel a lot of urges.
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Day 24 - No porn
Day 4 no fap
Doing good , not experiencing strong urges. Will be running 5k today and I also completed 50 verbal words.
The coming weekend is going to be challenging , since I will be along at my home. Need to be prepared with a plan to stay on this path.
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Day 26 - no porn
No fap relapse
Did it because I just felt like it , since I am abiding once per week rule I am ok. Not feeling guilty.
Had a nice leg workout at the gym today. So far I am doing good.
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Day 27 - no porn
No fap relapse big one masturbated 4 times.
I have no energy left , I masturbated 4 times today and in total 5 times in the last 24 hours.
All the energy or urges or semen bottled inside me got out and I could control myself even one bit.
It would be better if I again focus on no fap, because clearly I cannot control fapping.
Earlier I used to think that I am addicted to porn and not to fapping. But I was wrong, I am equally addicted to fapping and porn .
So once I complete 30 day of no porn I will reset my counter and practice 30 days of no fap.
Though 30 days of no porn would be a huge step towards reaching my goal of sobreity but I won’t feel accomplished if I fap 2-4 days per day.
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Day 28- no porn
Day 1 no fap
Had a shoulder day but was so tired from yesterday’s masturbation that I had low motivation and energy to complete the goals for today.
Really when I was on fap , I was souch more focused on completing my targets and improving myself. I didn’t need to drag myself through our the day, I was able to take and act on a decision instantly.
I have realised I have got addicted to masturbation, need to now research on how to get rid of this. Till then I am practicing no fap.
The major question with no fap is that I am able to sustain for 20 days but post that I get into really bad mood plus the sleep deprivation and back pain which caused me to relapse last time.
Need to do proper research on how to tackle this , the major question is do I practice no fap and keep going through hell ? The question is for how long should I practice no fap ?
Or do I masturbate occasionally like once in 10 days but I am not able to regulate it.
Instead, approach them casually bro. Time to live a little 
. And don’t be afraid of rejection.
I’m glad you realised it.
Hope you find a girlfriend so you can occasionally get a release instead of a relapse. And don’t forget to return the favour.
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YES
INDEFINITELY
Trust me buddy, if your body needs a release, it’ll get one through a nocturnal emission. You don’t need to do it voluntarily.
Everytime you masturbate and ejaculate, you are soaking your neurons in Oxytocin and killing that drive that Testosterone gives you. Save that warm fuzzy feeling that Oxytocin gives you for a real person. Although I doubt any of us feel that way, given that we’ve so completely fucked up our Neurochemistry through years of Pornography and uncontrolled masturbation.
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I never felt that I needed a girlfriend , but bro when I started no fap , I understood how much a female connection is important. It like I have been in a comma for years and just woke up a month back after a 12 freaking years.
I just don’t think that I have the leverage to get a girlfriend, my body is not in shape though I am going to the gym and I am not an interesting person.
But since I went on fap I have regained some confidence due to increase in testosterone .
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Good
That’s no excuse. Most of us aren’t born with charisma, outstanding sense of humour, etc. You have to hone those skills.
A word of caution - chics are dangerous 
they might break your heart. I’d recommend you read ‘The Rational Male’ by Rollo Tomassi so that you’re ready for all the shit your woman is gonna hurl at you. 
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Thanks a lot bro for the reply and support. It would have taken me some time and trials to figure this out.
But I am nrevous that it is going to feel like crap for a long time on no fap. I have zero female and very limited male interaction. I am starting btw XD.
So the puzzle is that fapping is keep me away from getting a girlfriend and I will get a girlfriend if I practice no fap.
You seem like a very experienced dude and your knowledge is quite impressive.
Really thanks a lot for all the views.
Just a question were you able to conquer this addiction?
Just wanted to know about your experience …
I’m on day 11 of my current streak. It used to be that I couldn’t go more than a week without PMO. But I’m confident and very much in control this time. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna beat this addiction this time. Especially with the help of this community.
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So what would be some of the things which are helping you cope up with no fap ? Do you have somebody to talk to ?