Few months ago, I relapsed after a 109 days streak. I had few relapses then decided, last month, to start a part time job besides my original job to keep myself busy and to challenge myself more. It was a way to help me pass the days and to increase my income.
I tried to stick to my study routine, did regular home workouts, worked on fixing my relationship with Allah, and put my full effort into those 2 jobs. All of these were my motivations to not relapse even when I edged. It was a struggle, but now I don’t edge - thanks to allah.
Moreover, my colleagues and managers were delighted and impressed of my efforts which, in their opinion, are outstanding for a newbie.
Today I am on my 44th day of my streak. What makes this day special for me is that I had my first wet dream in this streak. I was struggling against my urges severely but this means that my body is returning to its normal functions once again.
In addition, I got my payment from both of my jobs today. I discovered that in my new job I got a very decent commission, that I couldn’t imagine, due to my dedication in this month. I felt appreciated.
I gave some money for all of my family, brought my cat its favourite food and will start getting some important stuff for me as well. I can’t imagine how today would be if I succummbed to my urges today and relapsed. I hope Allah will forgive me for my sins and provide me with strength to fight those urges.
Honestly ,today, I was truly happy from the very bottom of my heart.