I recently came across some pics of a girl that was in my college. At that time i was not much interested in her(although she was gorgeous even back then). But now the images that I came across feature her in ethinic Indian Dresses because it was her sister’s wedding recently, and that just made me loose control over my thoughts. She looks fabulous in those clothes. And now I am unable to get her out of my mind.
I am keeping my will strong against relapsing, but I Am not able to reduce my liking for her. I really wish I showed more interest in her in college days so that we could be in touch at present.
I just don’t know what to do to get her out of my mind.
Brother, This happens with me too.
I analysed and found out the reason, I feel attracted towards that particular girl, is because I think I will not get anyone better than her. The problem with me was this.
Brother, Just start developing yourself.
Set a standard for you that what kind of girl do you like.
What are the characteristics of that girl.
I don’t know I am just suggesting from my point of view.
I know our situations are different.
But the problem might be same, We feel attracted towards them because we never met someone who is more gorgeous then them.
And I was the same as you. I wasn’t able to surpass my thoughts of my ex. She looks gorgeous when she came to our party.
But there are things which we cannot change.
And this quote motivates me a lot.
“Accept what You cannot change and change what you cannot accept”
And from that moment, I begin my self development journey. I started to become self obsessed.
I started to respect myself.
I started to think that my name is some kind of brand.
I think myself as a king.
Most importantly I value myself.
I don’t know whether You got your answer or not brother.
But one thing is sure.
You can’t stop thinking of girls unless you set some standards for yourself.
You will find some other girl who would be more be5then her then you will be lost in her thought.
Become someone that whatever you like, You have the power to take that.
If you like a girl, You must be a kind of person.
That she would like to be with.
Develop yourself.
And nofap will give you the energy.
Best of luck bro @satya3456
Greatness is coming for us!
Bro while I appreciate your efforts to help me, I believe these images won’t be of any help because this would just make the concept of having a relationship useless, FOREVER!!! While it is indeed the biological reality, it shouldn’t be used to make the concept of liking someone futile. It is like you are trying to dissuade me from indulging in any physical relationship with a woman Forever in its entirety.
Also I don’t plan on being on NOFAP throughout my life. Nofap for me is way of life that steers my thoughts and my emotions in the correct direction so that I am able to achieve all my aspirations and desires.
Hit her up bro, you waited during college and you missed your chance. But I think you still have a chance through social media. Text her for a while and ask her on a date! All the best man! And don’t jack of to her images no matter what the reason, it’ll send you down the simp spiral
Definitely bro. I won’t jack off to her pics. She looks nice but I am still not sure if I would like her personality, her behaviour. For me that holds priority if I am looking for a relationship. If I jack off to her then that would be similar to treating her like a pornstar, or a model. And I definitely don’t think of her like that.
It’s a good thing that you feel that way! Keep that up! Now about behaviour, the only thing you can do to understand her personality is to go on a date with her. If that’s not possible due to well covid or something, text or call. You can’t just observe her all the time and see what’s she’s upto right? That’s fucking creepy! Approach her first, via text, WhatsApp, Instagram or wherever you prefer. Get to know her a bit first.
As @GOVIND-19 said either talk to her or stop thinking about her. Getting obsessed with someone without interacting is what is called simping. At any point of time if you start obsessing over someone you will lose respect yourself and you will seem pathetic to the person you are obsessing over.
Getting rejected is better than having regret. At least you will know nothing is gonna happen so that you can focus on other things.
I believe it is necessary to mention that I wasn’t looking for her pics in the first place. There is a college whatsapp group on which that girl shared the photos of her sister’s marriage. That’s how I came across those pics. I havent been stalking her in any way. Also it was yesterday that I saw those pics.
So I believe that won’t be counted as obsessing over someone.
I think most of us are sansarik, and no one can become a sanyasi here. According to me, your goals should be your priority, and other things are secondary. So try achieving your goals first and then think about that girl?
It happend with me too, i used to like a girl , but i realized that it is of no use right now in my life so i deviated my attention from her. Many users here adviced me also.
I still feel very little attraction but i say in my mind " goals first"
And its fully up to you, do the thing you want to
Bro, you are human just like all of us. We all get attracted to girls. That is what makes you a man after all
Why are you considering it as a sin??
It is all good if you don’t consider her as an object.
I can give you an idea, if you want to get her out of your mind.
One of my friend gave me this idea; and this worked for me too.
Just imagine her pooping
You’ll get disgusted. Don’t put any girl on a pedestral. They all are human or animals like any others!!
Sorry for replying on this topic so late but I am in class 8th in Cambridge School Greater Noida now and In class 5th I had a relationship with a girl in that School only ( I never changed school only studying in that School only) so I was in 5th I didn’t knew much about love and I got love in first sight I also tried to impress her many times gave her birthday present too and then one day she took my proposal seriously I was so happy but she was like she had a boyfriend but didn’t told me my many friends helped me to propose her and they were also saying that my choice is not good but I was a child only and one day in 6th she broke my heart by telling the truth my all things shattered I was broken and now whole class knew about my relationship if try to make a relationship again with someone I think It will be like a super you all know you all are smart but in my whole 5th and 6th class I did so many mistakes as I was a child and I also cried so many times regreting on my old mistakes now also my like is like a broken pieces I did so many mistakes that I can’t tell also there are numerous of mistakes and the biggest mistake was the biggest and it was :-
There was a lord in our bus (I should say him lord he changed my life) who was studying in 10th or 11th in school I should say his name too his name is Aryan Bhati he always liked to sit on the back sit of bus he was a chill guy and he changed my whole life he was like a brother, teacher and god he teached me so many good things he was like a purist person of earth but one day he gone away from my life like dust he was like everything I didn’t got his number address or anything I was like scattered so much I asked everyone about his number or anything but I didn’t got anything I was crying as he gave me confidence more than my parents he told me about world and there are many stories like this and I am now a fully scattered teen I am a broken person as there are so many things that have happened to me and some of them are mine mistakes only
I’ll do you one better. When I was in 3rd grade, a girl who sat next to me told me she wanted to tell me something secretly, I brought my ears closer, and she bit my ear and kissed my cheek in the process. I was an idiot back then, I didn’t get what was happening. I acted like nothing ever happened and went on with my life. Shit like that doesn’t happen to me anymore #sakthlaunda since birth
