A dilemma to help with?

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I have actually wanted to leave this forum behind since this year started but I haven’t found any better alternative. Something that has everything, social life, discipline, friends. May be I will find something, someday, but for now, I am in this forum.

This forum gives discipline for sure, but something isn’t clicking right.
May be its just with me.
Anyone else feeling the same. Feeling like a need to outgrow the forum?
@The_Rising_One @debellator @drago @The_integrous_one @The_EnlightenedOne
anyone can answer, I just tagged my immediate friends.

I only mentioned people my age because I don’t think I should mention those below our age. I don’t want to influence them by this post specifically. For they will have their own time to ponder just like I am doing now.

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The dilemma is genuine and I faced this before
What you are experiencing is totally relatable
So i solved this issue by increasing the interval between previous log to successive log in by 5 days on an average
So i come to RC only once in 5 days
So this dilemma got solved
Staying in RC and at the same time focusing on life outside the forum and NOT sticking every aspect of your life to this forum is a good idea i think :thinking:

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This is one logical way to solve it.

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Yes you are right. There were multiple moments I had in my life where I thought of leaving the forum. There were alternatives but none of them were able to strike a balance in all aspects of your life like a forum in my subjective opinion.

There are journal apps like penzu , evernote, habit tracker apps , or apps for general purpose like notion etc. They have an interface and features much better than forum . But they lack something that I want the most. Accountability. In this forum ( as long as I am consistent ) , If I screw up , there will be someone asking me regarding that like sholt , imaginator , you etc.

If you dont want accountability fine , there are much better apps than this. What I like about this forum is it can give u accountability while not interfering with your personal life.

For me forum is not a no fap thread , its a personal diary to reflect on my life

But again I must admit forum has got much less active. But its fine. Find 2 - 3 buddies here and be active with.

If you planning to leave the forum stay in touch with me thru whatsapp.

Just curious , what makes u think to leave this forum. For me , I admit I sometimes run away from problems . So its kinda like an escape mechanism.

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no forum will have as much as this. I’ve seen a lot of communities but for some reason this is far more real and authentic than any of them.

Definitely this forum is a far cry from how it used to be 3 years ago, but it’s still the best option out there. What you want from social life and friends you should find physically outside, not just online.

I’ve already outgrown the forum to be honest, staying here for me is more of a duty because of the mod work I have to do, it’s my way of helping newer nofappers. I don’t interact in any threads and don’t use it otherwise unless tagged.

Hopefully we get more newer active users which will change things. Either way I don’t use to forum much except to update my journal (which helps me a lot) and view my friends journals. Another thing I really like is the ability to see my old journals, which is really encouraging to me as it helps me remember the long journey I have taken.

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Randomness is gone from life, everything is pre-planned, even when making friends, I weigh the pros and cons it will have on my work schedule and career. Every decision even those emotional feel cold logic based, am I going to get any benefit etc.

May be I am just slacking off. I should not give much emphasis to leaving this forum, at least for the next 2 years of my life.

The reason I wanted to leave was to seek random chaos, but I don’t think it’s the best thing to do currently. Yes, most days feel pre-planned but it’s better to feel it now, than struggle later with life. I can enjoy randomness later.

This is also one main reasons things don’t feel clicking right. I miss the old forum.
Indeed this forum is best for accountability. But even without it, people do achieve great things in life.
I want to be someone who has inner accountability. May be, this is one more reason I wanted to leave and train myself to have inner accountability, rather than a forum to help me perform everything efficiently

I used to have inner accountability before, but now I am so used to rely on the forum for accountability that inner accountability has taken a backseat.
Being alone in childhood, I had only me, therefore now when I am actually experiencing what most of you may have experienced way earlier, I am getting distracted.

I wish I was done exploring in my childhood, I just started my life after I turned 18. By the time I turned adult, I had means to experience and explore, therefore all this distraction. May be the distraction my mind is liking wants me to give accountability a backseat. But it’s not the best time to do it anyways. Sorry for me talks, I know nobody likes someone who only talks about himself.

Thank you, I really appreciate the replies.

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@Awaken_one
There have been so many moments where I’ve thought about leaving this forum—where I felt like I could do it on my own. But every time I try… I fall right back into ■■■■. It’s like the grip it has on me tightens the moment I try to walk away.

But something’s changed now.
Lately, every time I feel that urge, that pull to go back to old habits, I come here instead. I read the stories, the posts… especially from those who have already walked this path and made it out. Some of them wrote these words long before I even joined. And yet, they speak directly to me, like they knew one day I’d need to hear them.

This forum has become more than just a place to post—it’s a lifeline. A place where I feel understood. A place that reminds me I’m not alone in this battle.
And that’s why I just can’t let it go.

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Hey brother, I totally get what you’re saying. The forum was a big part of my journey initially — a source of motivation, accountability, and a place to reset whenever things felt shaky. But as the streak grows and inner stability develops, the dependency on the forum naturally reduces.

It’s not that the forum becomes useless, but our relationship with it changes. Maybe that’s a sign of growth — that we’re starting to carry the discipline within us, not just draw it from outside.

Still, it’s always good to drop by, share, connect, and help others. You never know who might need that one encouraging word. Glad you’re still around for now. Keep walking the path, one day at a time. :folded_hands::fire:

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From much experience I can state, that it’s way easier to build big streaks when you have a challenge and companions.
I advise to keep with this app and forum until you reach at least 1 full year of retention.

A short check-in takes 2 minutes and sets the impulse to keep going.
Part of this path is to keep accountability for long periods. This will mirror into your life when you pull through.

It’s easy to make big announcements and write big plans…but only 1% succeed.
Especially it’s good to have this forum whenever you start a new streak.

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Yeah I used to feel sometimes that I need to outgrow the forum, it happened especially everytime I was on a good streak, but whenever such thing happened I used to fall right back, and about inner accountability, I guess I had that to some extent but accountability of a supporting group of like minded individuals is on another level which I realised with time and also a big credit of whatever I’ve achieved in my life goes to this forum only so I decided to never leave the forum, it’s only ever since I got into relationship that I started getting very less time and need to post here because the time I used to journal started going in calls and most of the things going on in my life, I discuss with her, so I am very less in touch with the forum now, just like Debellator said, I also visit the forum just to read friends’ diaries sometimes and I get involved in threads just when someone tags me, but as you miss rsndomness in your life I kinda miss the forum days which used to be very planned :sweat_smile:, I don’t need the forum for planning or following good habits consistently but it really used to help in building consistency and I find pen and paper best for planning, even when I was regular in the forum I used to write plans and some journals on pen and paper.
One more point is that I still feel the need to post here especially when I am dealing with lust and if there’s something I can’t discuss with my wife, so I do that or else I use pen and paper, like recently I am kinda struggling with my routine because shifted to a new place, so I need to devote a specific. slot for planning either in forum or hard copy pen and paper journal.
Anyway I hope this helps even tho I kinda converted it into self introspection journal :joy:.

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