A Champion's Diary

Day 3 - yesterday I did some solid effective study and I think i did very good on my psych test. Today was chill nothing much happened.

Hey buddy, hope you are ok. stay safe.

Do you remember what happened on the days you relapsed? what was it that made you relapse? it could be soooo small that you didnt even notice it. keep a journal or write here just before you do want to relapse, tell us what it is that will make you want to relapse so much. maybe it will help

maybe you felt one of the main things : Hungry, angry, Lonely, tired, bored? or anything else.

depending on your personality, maybe 1 single negative thought killed your mood. maybe someone looked at you the wrong way, maybe you said smtg and doubted yourself, maybe you are judging yourself and being too hard on yourself.

also, with all the changes you are going through and the bulking bit and now gym is closing and corona and and and, there is a lot of uncertainty and if you are not used to the meaning and word SURRENDER, you will easily get thrown overboard and get overwhelmed etc. that can worsen as well.

I read you were doing meditations. I used to do it before and then it became inefective and 3 years after the most struggle and learning a lot about myself, I went back to meditation and it is working like never before… there are many limiting beliefs that sometimes are in the way of us achieveing what we want. have you tried hypnosis (similar to meditation) or also brainwaves etc? It took me a lot of time to find the right ones that work for me… but when you do, it is magic. and maybe you can try a combination of many things. this helps if you get bored of 1 type of meditation etc.

one day more of streak is better than a day dwelling into your thoughts or avoiding them and filling the void with PMO so give yourself some credit. well done buddy.

we/re here for each other bro. stay strong.

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Man. I really wish I had seen this earlier, I just relapsed and feel so shit. I think i always end up watching porn when I know I have study to do. I hate porn but I still end up coming back to it. I have no idea how to stop this now. One sendond I feel so strong and then the next I’m depressed over what I have just done. Porn has some kind of hold onto me and I don’t know how to cut that off. I know will power isn’t enough. So what else should I use? I think the root reason for why I watch porn is because I feel lonely I geuss. You said hypnosis works. I have never previously tried that, how does that work exactly and could you recommend some that I should try.

Day 1 - Nothing much happened today at school. Although I did feel like I was working more efficiently during school.

Day 2 - I had brain fog which made me completely bomb 2 tests.

Day 2 - My life is uncertain. Idek what’s going on anymore. Corona is creating a world full of uncertainties. I’m in the last year of school and everything is so crazy we have no idea what is even going on. School is still open for 1 more week but no one is coming to school. We don’t know if we are going to have exams. I have no idea how this will affect the world either. Although I don’t even feel in the mood to watch porn so I geuss that’s a good thing. I’ll be praying for everyone. Stay safe.

Hey @littleking3597 this year is my last year as well and I don’t know if I’ll graduate, they want to freeze the year, but not sure yet. I suppose to have baccalaureate exams this summer and go to university. We all fuckt up and by the way the world as we know it it’s going to change.

Yes for sure! They might cancel our exams but I’m just going to tell myself that we definitely don’t have it the worst.

Man. I just relapsed. Once the thought floods into my mind, it’s as if I have tunnel vision. Then after I feel so ashamed and guilty. I think starting tomorrow im going to start taking cold showers in the mornings. Honestly I have no idea what to do right now, I haven’t made it past a week since 2020. Every other aspect I work on beside not watching porn is working and I’m getting better but porn is something that is so difficult to escape. I don’t know how to stop the cravings, idk how to satisfy myself without watching porn. Anyone got any advice?