"a brief history of nofap"

[Nep_12]

@debellator

which ones do you recommend?

I don’t know either.
My conclusions are due to my personal observations for months on social media (eg. youtube comments and twitter and more).
And I have watched some YouTube videos too.

I stopped doing that now.

I have a friend who is an ex incel and he told me how horrible they are. So I drew conclusions.

I don’t know everything, and wouldn’t claim so.

However I believe that I have a good enough understanding owing to all those months I spent.

@debellator

I guess that is what the MGTOW mindset is, right?

Again, I don’t really know. This is definitely a part of my personal mindset. I’ve observed that many MGTOW folks speak of self improvement (like we do on this forum) so maybe it’s something like that.

@debellator

Because for me, I think real masculinity is when you do the right thing, what a man would do, even when you don’t get appreciated for it. I continue to help others, even girls who have acted in toxic ways with me in the past, simply because that is who I am (I don’t go out of my way to help them, and definitely am guarded around them, but I would not deny them any help that I would give to someone else).

I guess you are an idealist which demonstrates your young age. As you grow older, it can change.

@debellator

I guess you don’t find it worth being masculine if you are not appropriately appreciated for it, but I do, because I’m not doing it to get something out of it, I’m doing it because that is who I am.

Now I would say things can be a bit more complex than that too. I’m definitely petty in some cases, but not always.
I’ll put it this way

1. I can help a stranger regardless of their gender, since I don’t know them personally. I’ll do it and move on with my life. And I wouldn’t expect something in return.

I do this because my female friend on this forum helped me without expecting any reward.
So I let it go out from my side to the world, since the world gave me something on its own.

I don’t live in a totally westernized society myself. Had I been in one, I probably wouldn’t help others. Especially women.

2. I’d also help my family because well they are family. And not to expect anything in return. It’s not conditional. And they’ll do the same if I need some help.

3. I wouldn’t help someone who’s been toxic to me, because these people don’t deserve it (yes I’m very petty here)
   And even this isn’t because I expect a reward. It’s because of my anger and resentment.
   This can also be situational because my mother can also be toxic sometimes but I know she loves me. I just let it slide and move on with the day.

4. There are some cases (eg. woman who betrayed me) where I wouldn’t help them even if they are (hypothetically) going to die. Or whatever else happens. I don’t owe it to them. There are some obnoxious rich women (and people in general) I know and I wouldn’t be helping them either.

5. I had a female acquaintance whom I had helped regarding her depression. We stopped talking after a small disagreement (not really toxic, but she didn’t interact and I continued with my life)
   She called me months later and was asking for help. I offered to listen. She told me some cringe stuff about her boyfriend and I immediately fired back at her that I’m not some vent out that she can use. Or we can say I refused to help after listening to the matter.
   Also it was really cringe and getting on my nerves.

This is what I can think of now, I’m sure things can be even more diverse than this and I’ll act accordingly.

I don’t think it’s always about a reward, but I’ve become more selfish and less giving to others. I don’t see anything wrong with it.

When I was younger, I had identified narcissistic traits inside me. I tried to change myself and thus as a result became a doormat for many (women especially).

Now I embrace my narcissistic traits again.
I have an ego, and I believe in tit for tat.
I love myself more, and wouldn’t hesitate to cut people out if they don’t offer me anything valuable.