50 Days hard mode, i feel like a shit

Hi everyone i.did 50 Days hard mode triying, i feel like a shit what is beating me is a feel of lonelynes, some kind of represion and mind-jail sensation, maybe my sex and emotional urges are pushing me, is geting more hard to me dont have emotional feedback with women than sex itself ,becouse feeling of lack of love and lonelynes, my style of live also must change, becouse people that i have around are centre in partys, dinners and girls, i am not so good starting new actibitys and meeting new peple becouse i suffer some phobyas, but i must try, someone feel all this? how did you overcome it?

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Day 7… I am single, sad and depressed right now.I don’t have new friends… I’m far way from home working here in a busy city. I am introvert but since I joined nofap I became a little bit extrovert. I don’t want to stay alone at my room anymore. I want to meet and talk to new people especially girls. The girls that flirted with me for the past two months don’t want me anymore cause I fucked them up when I applied what I read from the pick up artists advice. Now I am so lonely and I don’t have girls to flirt. I am 26 and I am such a loser. :slightly_frowning_face:

Day 6 for me, I can very much relate not only as an introvert myself (INTJ) but also to feeling very much alone and the depression that accompanies it, I’m 28 this year and have never had a girlfriend, still a virgin and can count on one hand the number of good friends I’ve ever had… There is a part of me that wants so badly the love and companionship that would come with having a good healthy relationship with someone special, however I know realistically that I am not in a good position mind, heart and soul to be the partner such an amazing person would deserve…

I do not know what is more depressing, the loneliness or the feelings of inadequacy…

I am someone who derives great satisfaction in taking something broken, flawed, incomplete and turning into something better and functional, I was raised on the idea that every space is sacred, and that every space should be left better than it was when you entered it…

I woke up one day and realised… Or was finally honest with myself that I was broken, and not the best person I could be for those I care about and the community I live in. So I had two options, I could stagnate and allow the darkness to consume me until there was nothing left, or I could start doing the work to break my chains and fix myself, because I am better than this, but not only that; because the people I care about deserve better than I have been giving them, a mere shadow of the person I can be…

My new years resolution was to make the conscious choice to start breaking away from my bad habits / addictions (online games and PMO being the two majors) I suddenly found this inner strength / determination that I did not know I had this whole time. A shift in focus towards my spiritual practice has also helped immensely.

I am now 4 months game free, 6 days PMO free.

It’s not always easy, but one step at a time, one day at a time, I had been gaming daily for 13 years and ( P )MO most days for (5)20 years so do not expect things to be made right overnight. The shift in focus helps me to keep my mind off the things I don’t have, I find I have time to accomplish things that I would not have ‘had time to’ previously and that helps me to feel like I have some worth, and when I can share a moment in the real world with someone I care about it makes me smile inside.

The increased focus on my spiritual development has also changed the way I look inward at myself, and I have found it easier to improve my diet, take up a bit of exercise and generally improved my mood and outlook on life.

Am I where I really want to be? No, I am not. I am not always feeling 100% and sometimes I am too harsh on myself. But I am certainly working my way out of that dark place I found myself in, and I am at the point where I can note the changes in my life and myself, some greater than others. But it’s as they say, change your habits change your life, it’s a little cliche now I guess but there is some truth to it, and when one can be thankful for positive results that come from changes made to one’s lifestyle it gets easier to deal with any depression that crops up. Because there is a sense of worth and achievement and I find that I do not feel down near as much as I used to.

Hang in there, life may be difficult, but the more we persevere the more experience we gain and the more refined our tools for dealing with anything thrown at us become. Things do get better and I find I am actually starting to enjoy aspects of my life.