1. Have a healthier understanding of sex
Perhaps the biggest lie porn sells is that its fantasy world is filled with sex positivity: sexual education, more sex, better sex, etc. What it doesn’t mention, however, is that the fantasy world it sells can warp sexual expectations in unhealthy ways.
It’s no secret that porn is wildly unrealistic and often straight-up toxic, yet 1 in 4 young adults report believing that porn is the most helpful source to learn how to have sex, according to a 2021 study.
Another study indicated that young people often reported trying to copy porn in their own sexual encounters, and that the pressure to imitate porn was often an aspect of unhealthy relationships. Bottom line, porn isn’t contributing to a healthy understanding of sex.
2. Porn can be habit-forming
Many porn consumers are surprised to find that porn can be incredibly difficult to quit. While most porn consumers are not addicts in a clinically diagnosable sense, many experts agree that pornography consumption is a behavior that can, in fact, qualify as an addiction in serious cases.
Regardless of whether someone’s porn consumption is classified as an addiction, compulsion, or simply an unhealthy habit, quitting porn can be a difficult process. Even if it feels daunting, there is support out there, making quitting more possible than ever!
3. Habits and addiction can escalate
Research indicates that porn consumers can become desensitized to porn, often needing to consume more porn, more extreme forms of porn, or consume porn more often in order to get the same response they once did.
Over time, a porn consumer’s appetite can escalate to more hardcore versions just to achieve the same level of arousal. In fact one 2016 study, researchers found that .9% of respondents reported that, over time, they began watching pornography that had previously disinterested or even disgusted them.
4**. Form deeper connections**
Research indicates that consuming porn can normalize sexual objectification, which can have profound consequences in the ways porn consumers view and treat others.
The porn industry objectifies people and commoditizes sex, which can make it more difficult to develop intimate connections with real people. Disconnect from porn and connect with real people!
Virtually every major porn site has had issues with nonconsensual content, abuse, or child sexual abuse material (aka “child porn”).
5**. Have a healthier body image**
The makeup, surgery, Photoshop, acting, and editing that go into porn give us an unrealistic view of the human body and sexuality.
In fact, research suggests that consuming porn can result in poorer body image—both for the consumers and for their partners. Don’t buy into the unrealistic, airbrushed fantasies of porn. You deserve to feel confident in your skin rather than comparing yourself to impossible standards.
6**. Invest in your relationships**
As world-renowned relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman wrote about porn, “Intimacy for couples is a source of connection and communication between two people. But when one person becomes accustomed to masturbating to porn, they are actually turning away from intimate interaction. [Additionally], when watching pornography the user is in total control of the sexual experience, in contrast to normal sex in which people are sharing control with the partner… In summary, we are led to unconditionally conclude that for many reasons, pornography poses a serious threat to couple intimacy and relationship harmony.”
One study showed that those who never viewed pornography reported higher relationship quality—on every measure—than those who viewed pornography alone. Staying away from porn is a great way to invest in your relationships.
7**. Prevent sexual dysfunction**
Interestingly enough, porn often leads to less sex and less satisfying sex.
Research routinely shows that compulsive pornography consumption is associated with sexual dysfunction for both men and women, difficulties with arousal and sexual performance, and decreased sexual satisfaction. Doesn’t sound very “pro-sex,” does it?
8**. Help stop the demand for sex trafficking**
Sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic connections to pornography. Even in the production of mainstream porn, sex trafficking can still occur—and it happens more often than most people think.
Manipulation and coercion are unfortunately common in the porn industry, which legally qualifies as sex trafficking.
Again, there’s no viable way for a consumer to guarantee that the porn they’re watching is truly consensual and free of abuse or coercion. As long as there’s a demand for porn—especially porn that is extreme, abusive, or degrading—the porn industry will continue to exploit vulnerable people to meet that demand.
9**. Porn glorifies sexual violence**
According to a study that analyzed porn titles alone, 1 out of every 8 titles suggested to first-time users on porn sites described acts of sexual violence.
Research also suggests that as few as 1 in 3 and as many as 9 in 10 porn scenes contain physical violence or aggression. Even more concerning is that 95% of the time, the targets of violence and aggression in porn appear to respond either neutrally or with pleasure, sending the message that sexual aggression is normal or even desirable.
10. Porn can fuel sexually
violent behavior
So we know that porn glorifies violence, but research also indicates that porn’s sexually violent narratives can bleed into consumers’ attitudes and behaviors. In fact, research indicates that porn consumers are more likely to sexually objectify and dehumanize others, more likely to express an intent to rape, less likely to intervene during a sexual assault, more likely to victim-blame survivors of sexual assault, more likely to support violence against women, more likely to forward sexts without consent, and more likely to commit actual acts of sexual violence.
11. Live a more honest life
Many consumers conceal from their partner how much and what types of porn they are viewing. According to a 2017 study, women tend to significantly underestimate how much porn their male partners consume.
In fact, in this study none of the casually dating women—zero—reported that their partner consumed pornography daily or every other day, but 43% of casually dating men in the study reported this level of heavy porn consumption. Scholars have also noted that pornography concealment may influence the partners’ sense of trustworthiness and security in the relationship.
Healthy relationships are built on honesty and communication, so hiding a porn habit definitely doesn’t help. And hey—you don’t have to clear porn from your browser history if you don’t watch porn.
12. Focus on real relationships
In porn, everything from the way people look to how and why they have sex is fake.
Porn consumers can become so preoccupied with chasing something that isn’t real that they miss out on actual relationships. In fact, people who view porn regularly are less likely to get married than those who do not. Researchers suggest this may be because consumers see porn as a substitute for sexual gratification in a relationship.
13. Avoid hurting your partners
Over the years, we have received countless messages from partners of porn consumers who feel deeply hurt by their partners’ porn habits. Individuals who learn of their partner’s porn habit often internalize their shame and confusion, asking themselves why they aren’t enough.
Hundreds of studies show that porn can be toxic to relationships. Porn is not a harmless pastime, especially when it’s hurting a romantic partner. It’s time to refocus on what’s real.
14. Become a better parent
The harmful effects of porn don’t always revolve around romantic partners. We’ve heard from many Fighters who have reached out to us telling how porn has harmed their family relationships. When consumers become engrossed enough in their porn habit, they can start to neglect important aspects of their lives, including family relationships.
Regardless, modeling healthy behaviors—including not letting porn control your life—is an important part of being a secure parent. Help promote a healthy lifestyle for you and your family.
15. Become a better friend
Again, for consumers who become wrapped up enough in their porn habit, they can also begin to isolate themselves from valuable social time with friends. Additionally, some porn consumers start to feel shame about their porn habit, which make them feel even more isolated from their support systems. Disconnect from porn, reconnect with the people around you.
16. Maintain mental/emotional health
A number of peer-reviewed studies have found a link between pornography consumption and mental health outcomes like depression, anxiety, loneliness, lower life satisfaction,and poorer self-esteem and overall mental health.
These studies have found that these links are particularly strong when pornography is consumed to try to escape negative emotions, and also when pornography consumption becomes heavy and compulsive. Quitting porn can help interrupt the unhealthy cycle of escapism and mental health issues.
17**. Take back control**
According to qualitative research involving individuals who wanted to quit porn, many reported feeling that they had “lost control over [their] own behavior.
Getting caught in an unhealthy or even addictive cycle of pornography limits the feeling of control a consumer has over their life. Although it may take some time, quitting porn can allow you to take back that control and live a healthier life.
18**. Be the author of your own sexuality**
Watching porn isn’t “exploring your sexual fantasies/preferences.” It’s allowing a toxic industry to dictate your sexual template for you—it’s internalizing misogyny, racism, aggression, and all-around unrealistic and unhealthy expectations for sex. Reenacting whatever you’ve seen in porn does not make you a great sexual partner, it just makes you a non-communicative one.
Unplugging from porn will help you become more in tune with what you and your partner want instead of influencing you to reenact what you’ve seen in porn.
19**. Have more energy**
A porn habit can consume your time, attention, and energy. Research shows that many porn consumers report neglecting basic needs like eating or sleeping in favor of watching porn.
Without healthy food and sleep habits, your body can easily feel drained of the emotional, physical, and mental energy it needs to keep up with the daily hustle of life. By turning off the monitor, you can refocus on building healthy habits.
20. Be emotionally resilient
Many consumers use porn as a form of escapism to avoid their challenges rather than facing them in healthy ways. Interestingly enough, research indicates that those who consumed pornography to avoid uncomfortable emotions had some of the lowest reports of emotional and mental wellbeing. By letting go of porn as an escapism technique, you can build more emotional resilience.
21**. Stop exploiting the LGBTQ+ community**
Porn often fetishizes sexual orientation or gender identity, uses degrading terms to describe LGBTQ+ people, and misrepresents them through harmful and degrading stereotypes.
22. Protect your relationship
According to study that tracked couples over time, porn consumption was the second strongest indicator that a relationship would suffer.65 Plus, research consistently shows that porn consumers are twice as likely to later report experiencing a divorce or breakup—even after controlling for marital happiness, sexual satisfaction, and other relevant factors.
There is no substitute for real connection, and porn isn’t worth risking that.
23. Save your money
Paula Hall, a sex and porn addiction therapist, says sexcam addicts make up an increasingly large number of clients who come to her seeking help, and that users become hooked on these fantasies that feel more like a personal relationship than free porn. “People start spending more time and money than they intend to… They keep chasing the same dopamine hit.
Even if you’re not personally spending money on porn, your time spent on porn sites is contributing money to a toxic industry.
24. Avoid being sexually self-centered
Porn can easily reinforce self-centered sexual behavior by focusing only on the consumer’s desires and boundaries. In real-life sexual experiences, communication, consent, and mutual pleasure are key—all of which are rarely shown in porn.
25. Invest in your hobbies
Qualitative research reveals that problematic consumers who are trying to give up porn often report regretting the “wasted time” they could have been spending on hobbies or other worthwhile pursuits.
Pornography is not only a passive activity rather than a hobby, but it can be a destructive passive activity. Plus, replacing unhealthy habits with healthy ones is a great tip to quit—start exercising, learn some new recipes, take up knitting, whatever!
26**. Help break the cycle of shame**
Porn and shame are inextricably linked. In fact, research shows that shame can actually fuel problematic porn habits, leading to an unhealthy cycle of both porn and shame.
Letting go of both porn and shame can be an incredibly empowering experience that can help you live a healthier life. As one Fighter explained after quitting porn, “I’m not ashamed of myself all the time. It feels like I’m finally myself.”
27**. Build more productive habits**
Addictive habits can make us lose sight of our priorities and ultimately feel unproductive. Our grades slip, our passion for projects dwindle, and our relationships can become abandoned.
28**. Invest in your career**
Paula Hall, the sex and porn addiction therapist we mentioned earlier also says that some porn addicts “start noticing they are not spending time with loved ones, or are leaving the club early to spend more time on these sites. They might then gravitate toward using them at work. Often it ends with them using the work computer. That can end their career and I’ve seen people lose a marriage over it.
In fact, real stories of people being caught watching porn at work prove that more and more people are putting their jobs at risk by looking at porn during work hours. Don’t let this destructive material ruin the things that matter most for your daily life.
29**. Stop perpetuating sexism**
Remember earlier when we talked about how research indicates that as few as 1 in 3 and as many as 9 in 10 porn scenes contain physical violence or aggression? Well, that same research also shows that women are almost always the targets of that violence or aggression in porn—approximately 97% of the time.
Violence against women is unfortunately common in pornography, and research also suggests that it can have an effect on people’s sexual attitudes and behaviors.
30. Appreciate body diversity
A recent poll found that the more porn a man consumes, the more likely he is to be dissatisfied with his penis size. And the same goes for women with male partners—the more porn they consume, the less satisfied they are with their partner’s penis size.
With airbrushed images and highly edited scenes, porn can easily set the stage for body dysmorphia. But real, flawed human bodies are unique and beautiful. A world without porn and synthetic beauty is a world where comparison doesn’t overtake appreciation. Ditch the porn and its unrealistic body expectations.
31**. Ditch loneliness**
Many consumers watch porn when they’re feeling lonely, but research actually shows that pornography fuels loneliness.
Researchers found that the relationship between porn and loneliness was bidirectional, meaning those who viewed pornography were more likely to feel lonely, and those who felt lonely were more likely to view pornography. At the end of the day, porn fuels an unhealthy cycle of loneliness that just isn’t worth it.
32**. Avoid contributing to victims’ trauma**
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again—there’s no viable way to guarantee that the porn you’re watching is truly consensual, ethical, or even legal. For those who have been abused, manipulated, or coerced in porn, contributing to the viewership of that trauma can feel like re-victimization to survivors.
33**. Deal with stress better**
Instead of healthy levels of stress, which can help motivate us in healthy doses, research suggests that porn can contribute to an unhealthy cycle of stress, which is actually one of the hallmarks of addiction.
As one individual who successfully quit porn told us, “The stress and anxiety that used to be persistent in my life is basically gone.”
34**. Ditch fake sex**
Don’t take sex tips from an industry that profits from fake orgasms. Enough said.
35**. Stop contributing to toxic narratives**
Popular porn plot lines often include incest, racism, sexism, misrepresentation of the LGBTQIA+ community, underaged teens being taken advantage of, rape, manipulation, etc. By avoiding porn, you’re avoiding contributing to the normalization and glorification of toxic narratives, and that’s a great thing.
36**. Deal with stress better**
Instead of healthy levels of stress, which can help motivate us in healthy doses, research suggests that porn can contribute to an unhealthy cycle of stress, which is actually one of the hallmarks of addiction.
As one individual who successfully quit porn told us, “The stress and anxiety that used to be persistent in my life is basically gone.”
38**. Avoid romanticizing unhealthy relationships:**
It’s no secret that porn glorifies aspects of toxic relationships. Whether that’s cheating, incest, a lack of communication, coercion, or lopsided relationship dynamics, normalizing unhealthy relationships isn’t okay. Real intimacy offers so much more. Real intimacy is a world of satisfaction and excitement that doesn’t disappear when the screen goes off. It’s the breathtaking risk of being vulnerable with another human being.
It’s inviting them not just into your bedroom, but into your heart and life. Real intimacy is about what we give, not just what we get.
39**. Do something you can be proud of**
Taking the challenge to give up porn is not always easy, but by quitting porn, you’re taking a stand against a dangerous, exploitative industry and building healthier habits for you and your relationships.
No matter your reasons, giving up porn is definitely something you can be proud of. You got this!