Another attempt to overcome this. I’ve been trying for many years, and now I’m really frustrated. I’m starting this diary to clear my thoughts. I don’t know if this is going to work. I’m feeling very bad.
I’ve been consuming P since I was 15 years old. I realized I had an addiction when I was 28 years old. Since then, I’ve been trying to overcome this addiction. My longest streak was 32 days, almost one year ago. I’m married, and my intimacy with my wife is awful due to this addiction, and it has damaged our relationship so much. She’s the most important person in my life, and I really want to make her happy. But I’ve failed again and again. Now I’m desperate.
I’ll try to write daily in this diary. I don’t know if anyone is going to read it.
If you are a young man, please fight this now. Every year, it becomes worse. Please take back control of your life.
Day 0: I’m feeling really bad. I know I could be better than this.
I feel like nothing works for me. I was so motivated for the No Nut November, but I failed again. I’m feeling trapped. Don’t know what to do.
This addiction has such a grip on me.
Thinking about getting an accountability partner. Maybe that could help me. If anyone is interested, please let me a message.
I’m still recovering from the disappointment of my last relapse and trying to not fall again.
I feel like I am two different persons. One who fights this addiction, and another one who wants to stay stuck in this addiction forever. I will try meditation to keep control of my self.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I realized that I’ve lost some great opportunities in the past (relationships, jobs, …), I’ve always thought “It’s just the way life is, you can’t have it all”. Now I think it’s even simpler than that. I wasn’t good enough.
I’ve had plenty of good opportunities in my life, I’ve wasted almost all, because I wasn’t good enough. I’d like to end this post saying “but now I’m better”. But I’m not sure about that.
Feeling sad, But i don’t want to fall on that trap again. I want to finish this year clean, but I feel weak.
Hey bro. I can understand your problem. U r trying to quit it but u can’t. U must be really frustrated. I would like to clear ur mental blockages if u share. Like what leads u to relapse , is it a urge or stress ?
I think it’s anxiety. I work from home, and when I’m in difficult meetings, my hands instinctively reach for my cellphone, and I start searching the web for P*.
I also do this when I have discussions with my girlfriend. I see it as a way to escape from stressful situations in real life
I knew it. Actually most of the people do pmo to escape reality.
U know how we can get through this ??
By accepting. Yes , u have to accept that life has multiple experience and emotions to offer. Happiness , sadness , excitement , boredom , confidence , guilt , regret , proud , stress , relief and etc. All these emotions are a part of life. Then why u r just craving for positive emotions and avoiding negative emotions through cheap pleasure (pmo) ??
Accept the fact that I have to feel every aspect of life , I have to see every spectrum of life because I’m alive. That’s how life works my friend. Experience every emotion with patience , it will definitely vanish because time changes. Hope it helps
Thanks so much for your words. I feel like just talking to someone helps me.
You’re right about that—life is full of different emotions, not just pleasure. I can understand that “intellectually,” but the whole P* thing is very deeply ingrained in my mind. I have to fight a lot.
Stay consistent on this app . Put ur current streak daily here. This will remind u of not fapping. The ultimate way to leave ■■■■ is accept the frustration. Feel every tension and stress , don’t try to forget it . Try to find it’s actual solution…this will give u real happiness. Good luck man
