Day 8 completed: This was a different day. I didn’t do almost anything that I should have as part of my daily schedule.
Had a STRONG urge today triggered by a provocative image.
I’m not proud of the fact that I clicked on to a pornography website after that. However, I’m proud of the fact that I still didn’t give in. The conversation with myself (mentioned in my Day 4 entry) on changing my outlook towards pornography helped a lot. I immediately reminded myself of 2 things: 1. What I’m looking at is not a human being but just an image of a human being, essentially it’s just a piece of art and 2. If I relapse to this, it certainly won’t be the last time because the supply of pornographic material is endless so I can’t let that control me.
As soon as I reminded myself of this, the urge faded away and I was able to direct myself out of the website.
Productivity wise it was a bad day. Woke up late, didn’t cook. The only positive outcome today was that I got quite a lot done at work. Here’s what a bad day looks like:
Productive day at job
(No workout as today was a rest day)
Wake up early
Today’s lesson: I sat down and thought about why today was a bad day and why I didn’t feel motivated enough to do the things I wanted to do. I believe it’s because I have not been sleeping enough. So I will be tweaking my sleep schedule to see if that helps.