[25M] strongwillpower's Diary

Yes @anon69203515 I’m trying my best.

3 Likes

Day 0
7 hours
Check-in :white_check_mark:

I relapsed last night
Reason :- flashbacks of those videos.

3 Likes

Day 0
Relapsed many times in last 5 days.
I feel extremely weak.
Sorry for letting you guys down.
Giving it an another try.

4 Likes

Are you doing it for us?
If yes, then we don’t care whether you win or lose
If you are doing it for yourself then remember why are you doing it for

4 Likes

@anon69203515
Yes brother. Thanks for supporting everytime.
‘Why’ … I’ve forgotten the ‘why’
I don’t have a ‘why’ right now.
I’ll set a ‘why’ now.

4 Likes

NO NUT NOVEMBER…
Fight bravely Soldiers…
I hope my old buddies are still here… if so please do message me in DMs. :blush:

5 Likes

I’m here yet again after a string of continuous masturbation. But this time with a disease. I have high blood pressure now at the age of 25 years. I have been started on medicines today.
So i just masturbated for the last time now. And I decide to quit fapping from my whole heart this time (as my heart is been affected this time). Take this as a commitment.

7 Likes

Welcome back brother. I’m sorry to hear about your health; I hope that high blood pressure is reversed in good time.

New start brother, you can definitely keep this commitment to yourself. Freedom is always in your hands.

3 Likes

Thank you so much @Forerunner You were the first one i talked with when i started my journey here four years ago.
My high blood pressure is related to many stuffs like work related stress, career related stress, poor diet, and poor exercise. I’ve started to work on my diet and exercise now. I’m trying to remain stress free as much as i can at work. And I’m not thinking of my career for now till the blood pressure is controlled. I had a good day today.

5 Likes

Welcome back brother. Take care of your health nothing matters more than health. It’s time to prove your name @strongwillpower :muscle:

Also one more thing. Please bro try NOT to self-degrade and self hatred. The more you think you can’t overcome it the more harder it becomes. Don’t beat yourself if you relapse. And most certainly NEVER EVER SAY THIS AGAIN

Just the wrong thoughts and mindset can keep you a prisoner in shackles and never let you see your TRUE potential. You can do better!!! And will be free soon!!!

5 Likes

Hey @kazim.09 thank you so much brother. Negative mindset is just an escape door/back door that a person uses to cover up and run from reality. Positive mindset needs discipline. Strength needs discipline. I will not degrade myself not only for this addiction, but also in all aspects of life.

Very well said. :clap:
Thank you for your support brother!
Today is going to be a great day!

3 Likes

Last 5 days were good… i worked out, meditated, went for walks, did well at work. Did not take much stress. Overall good.
Yesterday I even played badminton. But, yesterday I had an urge before bedtime. I thought i can masturbate once a week, that will be normal. But i didn’t. I kept thinking of fapping continuously, and I didn’t even know when did i fall asleep. :sweat_smile:

4 Likes

It’s good that you didn’t.

That was a stupid thought from your brain, telling you that everyone masturbates, just do it less and you’ll be fine, even doctors recommend masturbation, it’s healthy for you and helps you beat prostate cancer.

It’s all lies. You know the truth of what it has done to your life and you bear the painful scars. Stay strong and keep going.

4 Likes

@Forerunner the whole day goes well. But, when evening hits, There’s this feeling of loneliness. I wish i had a girlfriend, but that’s even not happening soon (as God has better plans for me) I’m brisk walking daily now in evening for around 1 hour followed by cold shower and dinner. After that, there’s this void of time till bed time. I tried filling it with reading books (I’m trying to limit screentime before bedtime, sometimes it’s possible, sometimes it’s not)
Then i sleep (not with satisfaction but because i have to wake up at 6 for heading for work) and the cycle continues day-in day-out.
I just had 1 hour walk, i feel drained but good…but that feeling of loneliness hovers on my head (as i see couples everywhere i go to walk)

2 Likes

I feel it too bro. Without PMO to distract me, the loneliness is more intense. I have to stop myself from being envious when I see others in happy relationships.

But we’re in the right place. We’re working on self-improvement and getting ourselves in the right frame of mind for a relationship when that time comes. God’s timing is the best timing, and someone right for us is out there.

One thing is certain, PMO has been a stumbling block between me and a relationship for years. Without it I’m in a much better position to end the loneliness.

3 Likes

Me too. But I’m sure we can find our true love after overcoming this addiction. I’ll find my love when my health gets better. You guys should find one too!

3 Likes

I’m really pissed at him man :joy::sweat_smile:

2 Likes

I agree with you. I feel like, if God puts the right person on out paths now, we will not be able to appreciate it in the right way due to our addiction. So this self-cleaning is necessary.

However i relapsed yesterday. Last 48 hours were tough emotionally. I’m trying to gain back slowly.

2 Likes

Get back on track brother. We have greater things ahead of us.

4 Likes

Yes brother. Thanks for the constant support. It’s my birthday month. I’ll try my best this month.

3 Likes