My time management completely sucks. And here we go, another middle of the night with me writing my thesis.
Plus due to recent relapses, I feel tired 24/7. It’s extremely hard. I want to finish it asap.
But today I have realised one important thing. Watching porn is not only wasting time, energy, feeding addiction… It’s cheating. Cheating on my girlfriend and cheating on myself. How can I propose to my girlfriend in the following days when I cheat on her. I will keep it on my mind.
Last time we met it was one day after my relapse. She knows me well, the only thing she doesn’t now is my addiction. So when we met she was very happy at first as we were missing each other so much. But only moment later she started asking why I look so sad, what happened to my face, it doesn’t look well. I said sth like I’m stressed about my thesis. It was so obvious on my face that I relapsed…
Finished my thesis. I had to upload it until Friday 30.09. I have finished on Tuesday. Then my advisor added some suggestions, so I had to apply them. I have finished on Wednesday. Then another changes and on Thursday it was finally uploaded. Advisor added his review on Thursday. Then Reviewer added his review on the last day, on Friday. Just on time. I will defend my thesis at the end of October. I just need to prepare powerpoint presentation and study a bit what I have studied during my univ time. No stress about that.
Just when I finished it I started looking for engagement ring at the jewellery stores. And then came to the moutains for Saturday, came bac and again on Sunday. Weather was so great I decided to make short vacation with my gf a week after and go to the moutains for few days. I had to buy some stuff before that and find a hotel that is not full. It was hard and I had no time for sleeping.
And then we came to the moutains. Me and my Love. No pressure, just pure beauty around us. The weather was so perfect, my Love was next to me, my new clothes for moutains were so comfortable. Day after day we were on the hiking paths going up and down. Sun was shining, birds singing and we hiking or kissing if no one was around. It was like in heaven.
After coming back to the city we still had one day off, so we cooked together and then my friends visited.
Here’s day later. I’m finally free. No need to write thesis, no need to stay late at night. Freedom is lovely. I’m gonna live my best life now. My head is full of ideas which I write down. I will improvve in many fields. I will report my progress here. I need this forum to know what I have overcome, my addiction. I feel an urge to touch my dick now, but that feeling is so weak in comparison to the greatness I’m living in. I love life
