[24M] Nick Dairy

Diary
1

Today Im starting again…

I have had few longer streaks (longest being 15 days and average being 7 days). I starting porn when I was 16 years old. Now Im 24 years old. Since 16, I used to masturbate almost daily. Before I started masturbation, I used to see porn , imagine porn. ( I didnt do masturbation that time as I didnt know about it)

You may wonder, how would a person see porn without knowing masturbation. That time, porn for me is very softcore which includes more of seduction than fucking (even now I like porn videos of this time). I used to watch videos from youtube( now you can see why I didnt know masturbation)

It all started at 16 when one of my friend told me what masturbation is and how good it feels. I went one day and tried at home. That was my first day. I still feel, if I had a chanxe to go to past and correct a situation, it would be only this day.

But past is past, Masturbation since then ruined my concentration. From then as soon as I come home from college( around 7 pm), I take lite food and within half an hour I go to bath (firat see porn and bath). I used to take one hour for bathing. At arounf 9:30, I used to eat dinner and sleep. Wake up next day, go to college, comeback and do above. This was my routine. I lost all the valuable time without studying.

I just study for 10 to 20 mins before exam and get decent score ( as I listen to the classes and wont forget them). I still think, If I didnt waste time daily, I used to be in a better position than Im today.

So not quitting porn and getting more and more addicted to porn is my single point of failure.

Im 24 now, I still have a chance to pursue my life goal. But for that, I need to quit porn addiction and stop spending more time on it.

Till now, I was doing nofap without any goal. But for this streak, Im keeping a goal of 90 days and I will keep telling my brain about these 90 days. I will try to not watch porn these 90 days.

Wish me good luck.

I will keep updating my daily experiences and how productive I was without watching porn. I may not update daily, but once in 2-3 days.

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3

6 days into no fap. I have controlled very strong urges. But I didnt masturbate.

I started running for 30 min daily since that start day. I started making time table. Need to follow it. Unable to follow due to heavy office work.

But Im working on keeping a time table and sticking to it no matter what (getting rid of phone addiction also in the process).

But Im happy that this time Im strong. Everytime I get an urge, I feel like, lets do this time and start new streak . But I also feel like, you always say this . You always say that you are not going to masturbate from next time which doesnt happen.

The second feeling is more stronger now due to which I was able to control my urges . (I think exercise helped me a bit too here).

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