Here’s a link to the thread.
I don’t think anyone is active on this thread now a days but still 
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It was great talking to you @SirTryHard
Now I’ll go make strategies for my next streak for sometime and then study till night, Didn’t start studying yet 
. Have a good day
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Finally I engaged in a convo after a long time 
! It was great See You all soon 
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Lol .
Hope you are doing good
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Ayyyooo macha I’m still here bro! Just not using the app as much. Because I haven’t worked out in almost 3 weeks and college has been really hectic lately
Bro you have my number, drop a text then. I know I haven’t been really resposive recently but if I know it’s important I will
Theeka mucho!!! It means shut your ■■■ in Kannada. And I mean it! I’ll hit you if you don’t stop this!
Bro I know it hasn’t been easy for you lately, but you can’t take it out on you. You are taking all of this way too seriously. You say all of it is In vain and there’s no progress, that’s bullshit! You might have jacked off to ■■■■ but you jacked off to ■■■■ much less than you did last year. That’s progress. This whole one relapse means death notion have to stop! I see this a lot here. Risinglion, Ben ten, all of them left because of not meeting the standards set by the community, it’s garbage! What if you relapse? What if you are binging. There’s so much pressure on all of us allready. You especially have exam pressure. Why are you putting more pressure on to yourself like this da? You don’t have to ask forgiveness because you haven’t done anything wrong and you don’t owe any if us shit! Cry if you feel like it, but don’t sulk over it for days. Take a breather. Focus on living your life for a week. And don’t think about nofap. Study because you must, but stay happy bro. I’m always there, drop a text, In discord our boys are there. You aren’t alone
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Thanks man. I needed this.
Bruh it wasn’t one relapse, I have been doing bad recently, like I haven’t crossed one month in last 5-6 months, it all accumulated and led to this post today .
But I understand your point, I know I am much better than last year, my overall personality has developed during this whole year but I needed to let out what I was feeling.
Thanks man, I don’t know what happened, maybe because I stopped playing (which I don’t feel like btw because studies) and then I did a lot of studies so all of it accumulated.
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I will no go away easily. I may mourn and cry for a few minutes. I may take impulsive and rash decisions between. It doesn’t mean I am weak. I know I am terrible when it comes to keeping up with my words. Again doesn’t mean I am weak. I thought of leaving earlier not because I relapsed.
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Nice🔥, I knew you’d come back, welcome back man.
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I knew it but Ben ten felt bad just like samaranjay. I ranted properly against that in discord this morning. I don’t wanna do it again here😂
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My main reason for leaving the forum was not due to any emotional reasons. I don’t remember my streak since I deleted the RC app. But I think that made my journey easier. I am currently living as if I don’t know what is porn and I even pretend I don’t know No Fap. I know its difficult. But I fake myself as if I don’t know the above mentioned terms. I may get urges sometime , I pretend myself as if I don’t know what to do when the urge hits. Like a kid who has just reached teenage enough to get sexual urges but doesn’t know the concept called PMO. In short fake it till u make it.
I believe that the major problem about streak counting is that it gives us a never ending pressure and responsibility. There are many responsibilities that worth taking. Let the No fap be the background music in my life. BGM has no significance if the lyrics are wrong ( lyrics I mean discipline and good habits). So when the lyrics get wrong the BGM has no importance and hence lead to relapse.
This was the reason I thought of leaving the forum. By using this forum , I always got reminded that I am an addict. So by leaving the forum my motive was this. But I got a lot of mails from many kind people not the leave the forum which made me to rethink about it once again.
It doesn’t mean that I am against this forum. This forum is really great. But I just thought of using this mindset to check whether it will work for me.
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I am late but still… don’t feel sad. It’s normal to fall on such a tremendous journey. It would be more abnormal if you straight up made 300+ streak . (I am not talking about legends or aliens) .It takes time and patience. You can see my diary , it is filled with "sadly I relapsed and I am devastated" and there you always support me saying don’t give up . You can do it . I know it:fire:
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So my point is it is normal but now get back to studies. It’s not the time to waste.
Sometimes I feel things happening with you are so much similar to me. May be because we both are himachali and ME and preparing for gate.
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Haha . Thanks for the support here
True, thanks but I took time for contemplating and chilling a bit today, will get back to studies tomorrow onwards.
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12th November
- Study: 15 minutes
- Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night: Missed this after a long long time, I actually forgot, feel asleep all of a sudden. So I need to pay attention to why I started this habit and what the total habit was: I wash my feet with cold water, come to bed sit in meditative position, take some deep breaths, chant Gayatri Mantra a few times and then go to sleep, why I started this is because I watched in a video that it all helps decrease nightfalls but more that it so that I can enter a calm and positive mindset before sleeping, but as wonter started I have a habit of using blower to heat up my bed and so I was not finding proper order for this habit, now on I’ll first heat up my bed a bit then follow the habithabit completely.
- Sleeping before/around 12 am last night
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Workout: 30 min + dribbling drill -
Prayer
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Affirmations, Visualisation
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Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
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Cold shower: Switched back to complete cold shower, I don’t care if I die during cold showers in winter but I am still gonna do it , the feeling afterwards is out of the world.
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Evening meditation: 10 min+ 22 minutes
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No daytime nap
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No sugar
- No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters.
-
Shutdown ritual (planning for the next day)
In the afternoon and evening I spent time on the forum, I wanted to run from everything in the morning but thankfully I didn’t, I took proper time to address the issue.
After evening I took time to watch some no fap videos and I came across this
It gave me chills literally, lucid has always been a great support for me during this journey.
I took time to address the root cause, like I journalled for about 1 hour wrote 4-5 pages addressing what the actual problem is, then I meditated for 22-23 minutes with that in mind.
The actual problem was much more deep, me turning into long studies was also another escape from addressing the actual problem. I took time to address the issues from my childhood that might have made me fall into this addiction and made me turning back to it time and again. I had actually been thinking from a few days may be those issues are the reason I am turning to pornography, but I didn’t know till today I had to dig that deep. There are some issues from my childhood that I have never shared with anyone and I probably will never but I accepted those and addressed them properly.
I knew why I fell from those high streak I just wasn’t addressing the issue because I didn’t want to. Today I did that and I realised literally all of my relapses had been related to that root cause. After I journalled about it I really felt like I have exposed the root, and I got this slight feeling that I might be, might be free now, but this can also be the feeling I get before every streak but it felt something has changed now. It was all related to childhood, I was just a kid and naive, I had no idea what’s up with life and all, everyone does stupid stuff but let it be what it is.
And more importantly I realised I am a good human being now and I would like to stay that way and improve further 
.
Anyways I am going to have dinner now, will fill an application form for my mother after that, I might watch Shang Chi today. Will get back to studies tomorrow onwards. But now aiming for 8 hours of study . 9.5-10 adds extreme pressure .
Again I am thankful that I am a part of this community.
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fyi @GautamKrishnan and @risinglion123 are the same person. This is my real name. I just pretended I know nothing here. Just to see new messages here. I disguised as @GautamKrishnan
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Sorry for the inconvenience associated with it @The_integrous_one
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I am @anon87955785 ( Proof !! )
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no worries bro.
You have to agree though that I treated you well
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13th November
- Study: 3 hours
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Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping last night -
Sleeping before/around 12 am last night
-
Workout: 40 min + dribbling drill
-
Prayer
-
Affirmations, Visualisation
-
Reading and contemplating the daily stoic
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Cold shower
-
Evening meditation: 8 min
- No daytime nap: 20 min nap
- No sugar: Had kheer and also some chocolate
- No internet till dinner except for studies/important matters: Didn’t use till afternoon
-
Shutdown ritual (planning for the next day)
Not a very productive day , spent some time on the forum, sometime talking to friends, and some time chilling with family. Now I am gonna watch Shang Chi then sleep, I don’t know how long it has been since I chose to watch a movie by myself (I watched some horror movies with cousins in October). Will study tomorrow as much as I can without letting it get to my head .
Also for the first time I have made my profile here as of someone who studies .
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Enjoy 
Cool pfp , looks like a cool nerd 
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Thanks bro, getting a little late, I should go now
Yeah so just like me 
Can you see the gif in the background of my profile?
It’s quite good
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