I want that spacecraft sci-fi lovercraftien type spiritual relationship with a being from another dimension. Just kidding.
My ego has dissipated in past few days, not because I broke but because I won. Its weird, the more successful you get, the more humble you become.
But I don’t wanna be soft, like my previous selves of my childhood, it was a suffering. I am glad I became cold, may be that is why I had this success. Not that much success though, still a long way to go.
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I might take cold shower as I am having urges.
After everyone sleeps, I will take it and then study.
Reclaiming that throne Awaken? Kinda.
I have no power as of yet. All I have is a frail ego build on support from people that never questioned my ability.
Gotta change it, need to work harder, and most importantly smarter.
Fuck emotions too, cold logic is the way ahead.
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I relapsed.
I aim to reach 90 days. Will I? Like this. Guess not.
May be I am afraid of my own success. What if I get successful.
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I didn’t do anything today. I slept and wasted my time. I feel really bad about it.
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I tried using overlay Ai to bypass an exam, it just ended up wasting my time instead.
I could have solved in 20 minutes, the AI made me took 30 minutes instead.
In the end, I only used the AI for one question out of the 45 there were. It was so bad, and I could not stop it in between exam otherwise I would have left window.
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Don’t know if this a goodbye.
I am leaving formally. Formally cuz informally things don’t work out. I might come back if I feel like it though. Thanks @The_Rising_One for the to-do app recommendation. It’s good, I will use it for now.
Those who are close to me already have my contact or are connected on “YPT”. So there is no point missing many.
And yeah, deleting this app and forum history + saved login passwords.
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Bro, sometimes you say you’ll stay for at least 2 years, and then the next day, you’re gone 
. Anyway, I genuinely hope you overcome your addiction soon. To be honest, I feel like this forum hasn’t really helped you much in that specific battle. But aside from that, you’ve improved a lot in other areas—and that’s all thanks to your own hard work.
You’re awesome, bro 
. You have real potential, and more importantly, you actually use it—and that’s the best part about you. You’ve got a bright future ahead, just don’t let this addiction hold you back.
It might be a good idea to check in once in a while and let us know how things are going—but of course, that’s totally up to you. Since you’ve decided to leave, all I can do now is wish you the best 
.
I truly believe you’ll do great in life. If anyone can rise above this, it’s you
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I hope everyone is doing fine. Just wanted to update this diary.
Every month, life feels so different yet so same it’s so weird. Everything is so different, but at the core, everything remains the same.
Every month I am living a totally new life, on a personal level. But as a family person, it’s always the same lovely evening.
I love the chaos, but I also love the comfort of family I get in evening. 
I will update my one timer goals. In some while
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I unfollowed 150+ people on IG this month.
It started from unfollowing one or two, account, but I am constantly unfollowing people every day and removing them from followers as well.
The reason, I don’t know. I just felt like I always thought how would they judge when I post. I used to post alot, but from some while I don’t, and I don’t seek validation.
Whenever I post now, it’s for my mental being only. And only for people who I love to share things with
And I never actually interacted with many of them, most of them.
The criteria was only to have people that I talk to daily, or might to talk to in some days
I think it would be better to get it the followers to 100 by next week.
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Edit: I wrote the schedule here in full, but will follow it in personal Diary
Unable to sleep because I slept in evening and it’s actually fucked up my sleep schedule. Even if I sleep now,
I will only get 2 hours of sleep, or if I sleep, I will oversleep and ruin my tomorrow’s schedule
Or I am thinking of skipping sleep for tonight.
Edit 2: Time 3:26 am
I relapsed. Reasons are multiple.
- Firstly I didn’t sleep on time or even tried to, I chatted here till 1 am
- I slept in evening which was another reason I wasn’t able to sleep even after 1 am.
- I tried sleeping till 1:30 am, then took my phone out.
- Then I got triggered and fantasized about the trigger. I went on to fantasize without the mobile, then used mobile to supplement the fantasy and relapsed.
The utmost important thing right now is not to relapse when alone.
From tomorrow I will face this fear. Instead of running away from being alone, I will try to stay alone and face the fear of fighting the urge when alone.
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Morning Routine
Afternoon Routine
Evening Routine
Night Routine
