[19M] Piyush_chandak's Diary Towards New Life👊🏻

[piyushchandak]

Nov 2

Day 13 (about to start)

The reason i am posting this is to notify myself that today i am having urges like hell since morning and another thing is that since last 3 days my health is not showing up properly its getting worser and worser each day and today its worst till now i have very high fever with cough and can’t even move due to weakness , i think its just viral as suddenly it became too cold here … i made some promises that i will get back to track all habits etc everything on day 10 but since then i am mostly on bed … today i am getting urges but i don’t have stamina to relapse lol i know it sounds weird but it is as it is … this post is just to remind myself the worst days i went in my nofap journey day 10 to day 13 (13 can be more extended until i get back to normal) worst days worst urges and worst productivity… i see myself supportless , lonely stuck in my own thoughts… my friend circle almost all are mean they just need me at time of studies everyone knows i am very sick still they message me give notes, clear my doubts,etc everything… i Don’t except sympathy from anyone neither i need anyone to take care of me i can do that very well but atleast don’t hurt by such talks… after many thoughts i stopped them helping and started ignoring such people its better to stay alone rather than helping such people as at bad times no one shows up for me that makes me and my feelings hollow from inside day by day maybe one of the reason for no improvement in my health but i think i should not let this affect my nofap streak i promise here in this message i won’t do that at any cost… its hard for me to find people trustworthy though but now i will not care about any of these jobs as health first i promise this on behalf of you all (who read this post) that I won’t affect my streak and my health because of anyone
Still in the game … will get back to everything once i am back to normal … hope you all are going good
Happy days awaiting lets go:)
Will update soon as everything gets normal
See2laters

[piyushchandak]

Day 15

Recovery stage started now health is better thanks for your wishes
Wish you all Happy Diwali May this diwali bring light in your nofap journey and you get more positive power to fight hard
Like a badass!!!

[KiddoJay2021]

Like badass​:grin: brother like a badass

[piyushchandak]

10th Nov

Day 20

Boom

And yeahh i hit day 20 milestone again so close to my highest streak now soon i will break my old records
Some of last days i enjoyed a lot now getting back to study track and sorting things up as soon as possible because have got not time for exams i have to cover up many things also the pending one’s and the upcoming one’s
Made a time table :-

Piyush’s Time table

(Morning)
Wake up : 5.00 am
(Water 1 glass + boil eggs)

Workout/Gym: 5.15am - 6am

Shower/BF/etc: 6am to 6.45am

Classes (CA offline … travel time included ): 6.45am to 1.30pm

(Noon)
Lunch - 1.30 to 2.00

Checking forum/social areas/etc. - 2.00 to 2.30
(Water 1 glass)

Sleep - 2.30 to 3.30

Making + eating snack - 3.30 to 4.00

(Evening)

Study(extra) - 4.00 to 6.00
(Water - 1 glass)

Boxing/workout mini - 6.00 to 6.30

Snack Make + Eat (2nd) - 6.30 to 7.00

Study(hw,test) - 7.00 to 8.30
(Water - 1 glass)

(Night)

Reading+Writing(Hobby time) - 8.30 to 9.00

Family time + Dinner - 9.00 to 9.30

Planning next day food/study/pre sleep work/songs/checking forum diary etc. - 9.30 to 10.15

Study(last session completion work ,extra ,etc) - 10.15 to 11.00

Meditation (Affirmation etc) -
11.00 to 11.30
(Water 1 glass)

Sleep - 11.30pm

Total sleep time
6 and ½ hours

Yeah i know this time table is very hard and it will take about a week to stick on this time table but will manage somehow from tomorrow i will start sticking to my habits as today have to pack up and help my mom in lot of work also study in between asper time so can’t go with schedule will start it from tomorrow suggestions regarding this are appreciated… also yesterday Urges level at evening were very high but managed everything out now i am happy and will start all this to avoid urges and stick to some good work rather than surfing on mobile or just sleeping in idle time
See2later guys
Time for small celebration (Will eat just a sweet or something lol)
Take care … love you all
Peace

[piyushchandak]

Day 23

Feeling low and kind of very stressed
Just thought of updating it though i Don’t know why lol benifits tbh not yet seen and i am not even hoping any this much early just as always day 20 to 27 are worst for me as per my past experience and i relapse mostly during this time and everything is temporary i should keep this in mind lot of work left and studies pending due to overthinking and urges etc can’t do anything even discipline is missing these days i have to get back on track as soon as possible … will be very less active here now as have to reduce everything i.e. everything which disturbs me just thought sort of posting it here as its been a while since my last post …
Hope you guys are doing well
See you soon
Peace out

[piyushchandak]

Day 25

Yeah yesterday as it was weekend also i was kind of free for a matter of time … and am not able to be on track but managed somewhat though the presence of discipline is still not there had urges at hell yesterday and was just about to give up but drank almost a bottle of cold water and as soon as i was going to watch P i had to go to washroom and after that everything was back to normal so i just saved myself even if that was minute late it would have been a relapse happy for it now still face urges sometimes but i have to maintain discipline and keep myself busy … goals in my mind now about what to do for it … I will go more ahead for sure lets see how the game changes
See2laters
Hope you all are doing well

[piyushchandak]

Date 16th Nov
Approximately 6 pm (IST)
Its little big but worth reading
I was very happy for breaking my record of my highest streak ever made … 27 days!! And felt like i am capable to do anything because at my 25s streak i falled nearly more than 2 to 3 times so these days were hardest to me … Self confidence was at high level and celebrations were done too … Thanks to all the supporters here
After celebration was done i went to study and got urges suddenly i controlled for a very long time drank some cold water and went walking here and there even if it’s so cold now i was literally sweating my hands were out of control for sometime but i had no option but to control them and after several attempts of sleeping i finally slept at around 12 or 1 am … it was the worst i could experience and worst that could happen to me … my body was not listening or even responding as i wanted to … but eventually it fade away and everything was normal … normal to the extent I thought… Next morning
17th Nov … 9 am (IST)
It again went worst i could not study or even could not workout … this made me remind that how badly i am addicted to pmo and how is this controlling me … and since after that again i distracted myself somehow and it all went normal in couple of hours but i know it was going worst so at 12pm (IST) Same day yes the bad time came again … this time i was in a very bad condition as it was happening again and again and in panic i made a mistake … i used my phone that was the ending point of my streak… i felt that i should over all this now like its getting so bad that i can’t even do anything just struggling to concentrate even can’t sleep also if i could go in crowd i would but for the whole time i was home alone and could not leave house so all i could do is control that’s it but even after several efforts i could not atlast at 1pm as phone was with me i opened porn and watched it okay let me just elaborate it too yeah i opened my phone every single step i was doing i knew this would bring me back where i started though i had a tough fight with my brain my body everything that i will not but atlast i did … watched P for sometime now the day back means on 16th nov also i peeked but it was not peek to porn it was just some models or so which also i consider bad but i closed them soon and my mood was worst yesterday itself i had thoughts that its all over even i was going to leave forum as i felt lonely all around everywhere luckily i had a talk with @anon87955785 and thanks to him to lift me up a bit … so yeah back to story where i left so as soon as i watched P i was going to MO too as i was struggling since long time and need to end up all this but my mom came home as her work was done (both my parents are at service which makes me alone most of the time) this bracket line was for the ones who feel that staying alone leads to relapse … we can do anything if we wish to so i closed P immediately and MO i know i won’t do it so easily i had to control myself in any of the cases also then i decided to reset my streak so that it becomes a reminder to myself that i watched P and also so i don’t have a feeling that i am unworthy for this streak but on the other side it even had a negative effect if i reset i would lose motivation and can even do MO so now i will reset and will update my P and my MO streak separately as of now i consider my streak as Day 27 but in hardmode pmo it is taken as Day 0 so my mindset will go with day 27 for motivation but in real it should be 0 …
I know its a bad ending to my whole story but i think that i have more faith in myself now if you guys like such stuff i will keep posting my experiences and stories etc. I love to write i know i am not that well though If anyone wants just tag me back i will write even motivation stuff here along with my personal experiences
As of now see 2 later
Don’t give up guys fight at worst time you get to know your actual capability when you fight at the most hardest time of your life

No P streak Day 0

No MO streak Day 27

All the best to you and thanks !!

[The_integrous_one]

Keep going.
I read the whole thing as you mentioned it will be worth reading and it was , if you haven’t mentioned that I might have skimmed through it.

[piyushchandak]

@The_integrous_one yeah i know thats why i did

[piyushchandak]

Day 0

This message is not that long lol
So yeah after i lost my big streak i have been failing again and again and i know it sucks but it is what happening to me … now since a long time as many people suggested me to make a streak without counting days yes and i wanted to make it since long time but due to one or the other reason i was unable to stop counting my streak so this time i thought of doing so … okay so basically i uninstalled rewire and thats it… it might be one of the worst move i ever felt of like now i feel after nofap recovery i have to start up with rewire app recovery lol… but it didn’t went well for me i mean not counting days might work for many out here but from day 1 its not possible in my case because the day i am on which motivates me and not counting will leave me back and i will fap again and again and process will never end though i got a technique by which you can never watch porn like never got an app and you just need a trustworthy person you two can combinely get it done… without the permission of other you can’t watch porn and it has no loopholes you cannot escape in any case … its just a bit complex process though but it’s worth it if you want to know dm me as its very hard to explain the whole here … coming back to the point so from day 1 you should not stop counting it will eventually stop once you get used to nofap and feel urges rarely or very less but till then journey is very hard i have fell between day 25 to day 30 like 3 to 4 times now and that days are actually normal ones but in my mind i have a fit feeling that i will fall or i will get into something but in that time and will be bound to fap or watch porn and i have to prove this wrong once at any cost and then this feeling will perish slowly which has to be done… even if you are facing such problems and have a feeling that you fall at some particular span of time many times then rather than giving reasons for it try to get it done first i used to give reasons and thus i fell again and again but now no never i will prove my old self wrong i will do it even you can do it trust me … this also comes with chaser effect i don’t think such effects exists but some people believe though there might be some scientific reason i have never searched for but still believing in such things and relapsing at such time will just give you a reason that you fapped due to chaser or etc etc… but rather if you accept and avoid it next time it won’t occur again and this has to be done even i was one of you before … and i am not opposing any thought here its just my overview so
yeah that was up from my side i have been busy lately now and lot of work to go … need to be serious with myself i will try posting maximum times here as it makes me feel good… and reduce or 0 my urges if any
Now my only target is proving my old self wrong and getting out of that 30 day span which i know i can … before exam comes i have to get used to nofap otherwise i will not be able to concentrate on anything so i guess 3 months are required and my exams are in approximately 4 to 5 months so i still can do this!!
Lets go guys

[piyushchandak]

Long time posting
I was done with nofap and was in a very tensed situation for past couple of weeks due to my studies and exams stress my CA exam is coming closer and i am not able to concentrate due to urges and distractions in my life hence forth i keep relapsing almost daily for past 2 or 3 weeks which is absolutely bad i even stopped using this forum due to no time but i think rather than fapping i would have read some motivational stuff here so that I would have avoided everything anyways no regrets about the days i have lost already because i am thinking about future i am here back to forum i know fapping helps me to study but it does also make me weak and sleepy i can’t concentrate more and then all side effects know it very well this is actually a commitment message from my end i won’t be much active till my exams are done like probably posting here in my dairy rarely or so but will keep reading posts almost daily because thats the only motivation i can get now along with it if at start i control for a bit and study which will keep myself distracted its very precious time now and i can’t waste and ruin my career my life etc. Have to start now from now itself will use less phone no chats no calls nothing i spend alot of time on games and youtube which again eventually leads to fap have to destroy the roots of all the things which lead to fap now will start again its been almost 9 months since i am on this forum and now i have to take everything calmly laughing studying learning etc. Lets go commitment is on!!

[yashnofap01]

Keep it up

You will conquer this for sure

[The_Brave_Pilot]

@piyushchandak I’ve noticed that, your going like hell. I wish for your come back. Hold on man. Everything will be fine. Keep in mind that, we all are eagerly waiting for your success. Stay more happy and more active here

[piyushchandak]

Thanks @The_Brave_Pilot i will try my best now to stay active as far as possible thanks for your support

[KiddoJay2021]

Never give up like you say brother do or die

[KiddoJay2021]

i believe in you always