"You canāt catch up if you donāt increase your speed."
If you keep your pace up, YOU WILL NEVER EVEN BE CLOSE TO REACHING 90 DAYS.
YOU CANT KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING. You canāt keep starting new streaks and just hope for the best. You canāt keep relapsing. You canāt keep being proud of your one week streaks because they will get you nowhere if you never get past them. You canāt do the same fucking thing over and over again and expect new results, because thatās fucking insanity.
Okay, so after being on the forum for nearly 20 days I have mustered up the courage to share my past. (Disclaimer: there can be triggering content )
I was 11 when my friend had already started watching p. I was in 6th (2017) he was always going on and on about the sex positions and how people move like animals. That time I didnāt know anything + I was not interested in that stuff so I ignored it. He also said, āAw man what do I tell you I donāt know what to do, my d* just goes up and I feel all good.ā I was like āewā at that time.
Then a year later when I changed schools, I got some new friends but they were worse than the previous of them. Out of nearly 20, 17 of them watched p. I already knew all the slang terms and all of that but I never thought of what it meant. One day that exact thought dropped my mind and I donāt know why I kept pondering over it. That day I first searched for the word āSEXā. I was shocked and stunned to see all the images of d* in mouths and d* in āholesā.
I could not resist scrolling down and down and down.
I hid it from my parents and havenāt told them even nowā¦ Iām scared to tell them and will not until for a year or soā¦
I remembered my friends words, ād* goes all upā. It was happening to me. I kept on searching for images and deleting the history every time I searched for it, for nearly a whole year.
Then I searched for hentai and then on sibling ā ā ā ā . I thought that siblings could do all the stuff as they showed in the videos. I didnāt realize that I was just a supporter for the p industry. I also used to prone masturbate to feel better. (its crazy how I did it on my own without watching any videos)
Soon enough when I hit 14, I learnt about masturbation and started to masturbate. I know itās a very young age but yesā¦ it flowed out. I did this for nearly six months when I first felt like, āSomething off about me.ā
I used to have sexual thoughts even about my own cousins and neighbors (I didnāt want to write this. I feel terrible)
Finally, I went incognito and searched for āI masturbate with my dick on the floor mostly, and is that badā¦ā I literally couldnāt move for 2-3 minutes on seeing that what I was doing for 2 years was dangerously hazardousā¦ I soon enough started having more sexual related questions like, āIs masturbation bad?ā The search results struck me hard and I watched videos on how to stop masturbation. That was how I discovered NOFAP . It was nearly Dec 2020 when I really got serious about stopping masturbation and ā ā ā ā .
Iāve been struggling since.
I know I have acted shamelessly, but I have accepted it and made up my mind to move forward. I wish to be free and Iāve started acting upon itā¦ I really donāt know when or how I will relapse again but I will try my best to get out of this.
Now I am on Nofap to LEVEL UP and go on a level so high that I myself should feel amazed looking back how I wasā¦
And all the best my dear companions! I will give you guys a real tough fight from now.