[17M] Prothekter_aden's Diary 🗡

Tomorrow is even the first day of chess tournament. :fire::fire::fire::skull::no_mouth::no_mouth::no_mouth:

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Wanna play with me once, ik i don’t have any chance to win the game, still i will try. I used to play chess daily, when i was in class 4th .

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I would have loved to brother but maybr tomorrow after the first day…m i have to wake up at 5.15 am for the bect 3 days so need a good rest.
Goodnight!!!

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Its all great and motivating until you try to speak like Prince Ea in front of your class teacher :full_moon_with_face:

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Yeah technically the teacher will tell you to leave class with the first word. I don’t know about Indian system but here in Tunisia, you might get slapped in the face as well :joy:

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Goddamn son…I go for like 1 month and there’s a lotta change…

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It happened only 2 days ago :joy:

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You can say that the forum is not the only thing that changed.

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Yeah? Then what else changed with it?
Your dp?

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My god… THANK YOU TAHER FOR THIS GRAND WELCOME.

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I ment the whole world changed. Nothing is the same anymore.

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In what context bro…
I know the whole world hs changed :joy: and even I have changed with it LMAO.
SO tell me what exactly are you referring to bro? or was it just a statement in general?

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Nah I’m just experiencing a strange weather here in Tunisia. I’m sweating, and my hands are cold :joy: The sun is shining and and temperature is really low in shade, extremely hot if you face the sun.

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I also came back yesterday and saw this amazing update, btw how are you bro?

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Nofap wise im doing really trashy but rest all wise im feeling like a boss.
I have amazing control over myself in may fields

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January the 16th.

My fucking god. Today i just decide look in the mirror and see a really scrawny looking teen who is skinny asf… Doesn’t eat properly… Doesn’t study properly… Doesn’t bother to exercise… Doesn’t do anything in his freetime… watches a lot of porn and hentai when he can… Has fucked his sleep schedule… Doesn’t focus on his hobbies… Doesn’t practically NOTHING productive.

Tbh… I’m feeling like a total loser. After no nut November i think i have relapsed almost everyday or something… (cant even remember how much i relapsed… How pathetic)

Life is pretty fun outside of the house but when i come home… all i do is procrastinate and don’t even bother do anything.

Everyday i just say ti myself that tomorrow will be BETTER. I will take the necessary efforts but it all squares back to 1.

I have 0 motivation in life. I know i am not living upto my full potential… what full not even upto half my potential. I know i can be better but yet i Dont even try.

Sometimes it gets me thinking… Why am i still her3? What am i doing in my life? What do i want to do? What should i do? Is this right? What if its not? Who cares anyway…

WRONG. IM TRAPPED.
Everywhere , all around me there are jerks who watch porn and discuss over it. Infact… I have become one of them too. A lot changed me… One day me and my friends were literally discussing about each others kinks. Like WHAT THE FUCK??? how did i fall so low!? I don’t want this.
I want to change… I really do but I’m feeling to LAZY for that. I know that life’s short to be lazy and all but i just have no motivation man. Im tired.
Im tired of relapsing yet i relapse. Im tired of getting scolded by my parents for procrastinating yet i get scolded. Im tired of being an eyesore yet i am one. Im tired of making double meaning jokes and being the one to crack them, yet i do. Im tired of thinking about porn, hentai and other shit yet i watch it. IM TIRED OF LETTING MYSELF DOWN…BUT YET I DO…

I seriously need help man. I understand that now…

Just wanted to vent here after a LOooooong Time.

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Heyoooo I understand you completely. I went deep down in 2nd half of 2022.
What worked for me is that I journalled about it just before new year was about to begin and I developed my own strategy, based on my thinking, I targeted porn directly by linking it with prostitution. Yes exactly that’s what I did. I always had strong resistive feeling against prostitution and now I have the same for porn.
This was specific to me because I never fell for drugs or prostitution because they were against my virtues against my standards and I said why the fuck am I falling for porn then, it’s nothing but virtual prostitution.
And today it’s day 16 without a single urge to watch porn. Yeah I had a dream which was related to urges while dreaming but no conscious urge to watch porn, literally zero :joy:.
Real life urges yeah some are there but I know I won’t fall until I take refuge im porn which I am not gonna.
I am myself surprised how a journaling session could be so productive. :joy:.
I suggest you try something similar.

And yeah do productive habits to improve yourself, not to get rid of porn.
Workout because you want to look good, read books because you wanna improve your overall mental attitude, meditate because you wanna improve your presence of mind and so onnnn.

I hope this helps.
Plus yeah be accountable with us for the good habits you decide to follow. I know you have the potential dude. You’ve got this.

I was planning to not make this public but well it’s strong af :joy:. And I thought you might benefit from it so why not.

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Summary:

  1. Target porn addiction specifically by changing thought pattern.
  2. Have good habits so that you keep improving yourself.
  3. Enjoy life, do things you love whenever you find time.

This is a power pack for self improvement.

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Hell yeah bro hell yeah
I wanna change my life again.
Lets go :fire:

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I will need time to think what i will be linking porn with but currently i would like ti start and develop the following habits:-

  1. Meditation. ( I have for years wanted to start this habit because of its attractive benefits and i wann experience it firsthand)

  2. Learning to play flute for atleast 30 mins a day. ( I brought a flute in November but didn’t play it and postponed it everytime)

  3. Start reading again… ( I have so many books which i left of in the middle… about damn time i finished them)

These 3 will be my basic productive habits I’ll dedicate myself to from today.
(And maybe studies too :joy: lmao)

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