Thanks @Kaito_Kid1412 , I really needed this. It helps a lot 
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Stay strong, @Rezboy247
And please start taking action, build some new habits if you didn’t start it yet. 
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Thanks you too! @comingclean
Im feeling the affects of relapsing, but I’ll be sure to make some new habits so that this streak is more meaningful than my last one!
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Date: 6/29/2020, Monday
Streak: 1 day, 19 hours, 53 minutes
I never want to go back.
Today I realized that all of the benefits of no fap were gone. Well, I realized they would be gone if I relapsed but today I experienced it first hand. My confidence was gone when I was talking to a teacher from my school (I had to turn in papers for online school). Usually she and I talk a lot about other things besides school but today it almost seemed like she didn’t want anything to do with me. Also a girl that I text is replying with super short answers when before she would carry the conversation. It’s not affecting me at all but I just thought it was cool to know that there is some sort of “female attraction” even though I was always sceptical about it.
Anyways, today I realized why I want to never go back to my old lifestyle that consisted of mainly pmo. I never want to go back because I don’t want to be a “nice guy/beta/people pleaser.” Porn has sculpted me to be someone who I’m not, and that is a nice guy. I truly believe that if I was not addicted to porn, I would not be like this. So this is a strong reason I want to never watch porn again. I want to be someone who doesn’t feel the need always be nice to people even when its not necessary. I’m just rambling but hopefully some of you understand where I’m coming from.
Also, should I make a daily checklist like most of the people with diary’s on this forum?
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Well, I don’t know much, but I suggest you, not to overthink. It is possible they (your teacher and that girl) had some problems in their own lives or they were busy. Or they had a very bad day.
I mean you cannot simply draw direct correspondence between your relapse and female attraction all the time. I mean, once I had 30+ day streak and no girl talked to me. And one day after relapse, the most awesome girl in my college, out of nowhere, started talking to me.
I think you feel like everything that happens is revolving around you which is not the case
You are only 16. Even I was like you, at your age.
Yeah, you should. Even I’m starting it from today.
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Yes, why not! And if you don’t want to do that in your diary, you can do that in this group also👇
I’ve also started doing my daily check-ins in this group…
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Date: 6/30/2020, Tuesday
Streak: 2 days, 22hours, 50 minutes
Today I literally spent all day working on this class to get my grade up last minute. Sadly, I think I did not pass and tonight was the last day to turn stuff in. It’s 100% my fault and I will pay the consequences for this. I’m not blaming anyone but myself for this. I will learn from it and grow because of it.
But yeah, I had zero urges today which is great. Honestly, I’m going to start practicing the law of attraction because I truly believe it works. Today was just so crazy I didn’t get to do that but tommorow I will. I’ll use the law of attraction to never relapse again! I truly believe that im going to never watch porn again. I’m done with this stupid addiction. I hope you guys are with me!
Tommorow I’ll start doing home workouts since everything has closed down near me due to the Corona virus. So I will be doing a combination of calisthenics (body weight excersises) and boxing workouts. I want to gain all the skills that I’ve lost due to the surgery I went through. So I’ll use this time wisely and not let it go to waste! Besides that I had a super stressful day but I’m glad it’s over now! Have a great day/night people!
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I’m skeptical about the law of attraction though. Many authors clearly , directly or indirectly recommend practicing law of attraction, while many, including the author of famous book, ‘Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck’, Mark Manson, clearly opposes the idea multiple times in his best selling book.
But if you take into consideration about the logical ideas of Mark Manson, it seems that law of attraction is hoax.
In the book, the author mentions his desire to become a guitarist, playing in front of the large audience, all cheering up with zeal and enthusiasm. He imagined this everyday. All positivity that one day he would be there on the stage.
But he could never do. Cause he never liked the idea of practising 8+ hours a day, meeting people , forming a band, rehearsing again and again and all.
So if you imagine yourself, fighting incredibly in the ring and winning like Md. Ali, I don’t think so, it will ever become true. Instead you should focus on the negative part of the profession, the training part that causes a lot of pain.
This is what the author says, backward law
But I personally believe , neither is true. I mean, you cannot completely avoid law of attraction.
It is like 5-10% law of attraction and 90-95% backward law
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@anon98741803 This is true, you can’t expect to be the best if you’re not willing to do the tedious things that actually make a good fighter.
For example, say you want to attract winning the lottery through lottery tickets. Well, you can’t do that if you don’t first buy a lottery ticket. It’s like 50% law of attraction and 50% actually doing it. Without one, the other fails. Hopefully this makes sense because without action, the law of attraction will not be of any use to you.
I believe the law of attraction works. I do not know how or why it does but that’s not important. What’s important is that it works if you put all of your faith into it and truly believe in it with everything you’re worth. And also, you have to be super consistent with whatever you want to attract. Every single day you have to manifest that desire to come into fruition. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. It takes time and effort.
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@anon98741803 brother. I totally believe in Law of Attraction I’ve had first hand experience. It works bro. I’ll tell you how: ( I manifested my goal by creating a vision board, fixing it everywhere in bedroom, toilet, brushing place etc).
I wanted to get admission into a prestigious central university in India for language. Its in Hyderabad. No one believed I could get admission there. All my friends were moking me by telling you won’t be able to do it.
But what I did was, I printed the last year’s result of the admission test. Cut the name written on the column for the guy who came first. Then I pasted my name on it.
I pasted it everywhere. Everyday I’ll look at it and feel how would be to achieve that. Everyday I used to visualise myself walking around that university, chilling with friends.
So what happened?
I got insane energy from somewhere to do whatever it takes to achieve it. I searched everywhere the question paper to prepare. I bought books. I borrowed books. When my friends were playing football in the evening, I went home. Jumped into my study room and prepared. I worked my asses off. I imagined seeing the results and my mother jumping in happiness.
When the results came, eventhough I wasn’t first. I was 4th.
My mother jumped in happiness. Everything (I MEAN LITERALLY) happened the way I visualised. I told my classmate @josephvt about this while Iam doing it. He has seen this happening.
SO LAW OF ATTRACTION IS 100% WORKING.
Use is not for some random goals. For your life purpose. For the most important goal in your life. It’ll work, if you give your mind and focus into it. I guarantee that !!!
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Great Bro thats something useful.
If you can the. Please give us some Visualization and affirmation tips
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@anon98741803 yes brother @Tagore is right he maded the vision board for getting that admission on that college and He is now studying their…I have also experienced good results with the law of attraction method…May be you can read Power of subconsious mind book for more details
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Someone please help. I relapsed like 3 to 4 times and what scares me is that I’m in a mindset where nothing else matters and I don’t even have a want to stop. I know it’s bad for me but I can’t stop. I just completely let myself go. Maybe it’s because I literally haven’t gone outside for so long or because I haven’t been working out because ive been having pretty bad chest pain. I feel hopeless. I’m lost.
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If you can’t stop. Divert your mind. I think you watch anime. Watch "Attack on Titan " or “Death Note”. When I was really into anime, I forgot all about ■■■■ and reached 20 days mark easily.
Read books infact interesting novels of Sherlock Holmes .
The point is that we always need to be drunk on something to get going.
If it’s not work then sports . If not sports then hobbies. If we don’t get anything we fall back to our last option. i.e.■■■■.
So find something interesting that excites you more than ■■■■ and just get your hands dirty. I meant just give them a try. Bring novelty in life rather than Following the same boring routine.
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You’re never lost.
You are, however, experiencing the chaser effect.
Is anyone else in your house that you can talk to? Go talk to them.
Else find a park or sit on your terrace and breathe in and out.
You are not hopeless.
Even though you feel down, if you have energy, go work out, not too much, just to clear your mind.
If you are a Christian, the best thing is to pray.
Do something productive.
Wait, after sometime this urge will pass.
But now the first 5 days are very important.
Because for me, 90% relapses are in first week, not to discourage you, but to inform you to be ready.
I know you’re feeling ‘I relapsed. Let me just do a few more times, then start again’.
But that’s a lie. Don’t quit. We are all backing you up. Today is not over. You can still do something great.
Also something important, play games etc. It’s good. But don’t let it become a form of escapism, like PMO.
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Thanks guys this helps a lot. I’ll start to watch anime, school work, meditate and workout so that I don’t relapse.
I feel like I don’t want to relapse again. It just feels so bad when I do it because I know I’m letting everyone down that have been rooting for me through this diary. I don’t like this feeling so I’ll ensure that it never happens again.
Honestly I’m done with this shit. My whole life I’ve been miserable because of this addiction. This has ruined my damn life ever since it started. I’m sick and tired of being so weak that I can’t even get over an urge. Honestly tho, porn has made me a weak piece of shit that is only satisfied with short term gratification. I don’t want that. That’s the opposite of what I want. I want to be a badass motherfucker that looks unstoppable. I want to have the power to go out and train every single day so that I can ensure victory. Whether it’s inside the boxing ring or outside of it. I want to have that kind of strength. But this is the first step in achieving that. I’m done with porn. I’m sick and tired of that shit getting in the way of my true potential. Fuck porn. I will never let an urge cause me to relapse. I can’t afford it. I’ll hold myself accountable to make sure I don’t relapse. Fuck porn. I’m getting my life back together right now. I hate porn.
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Yea bro, watch One punch man and identify yourself with him and how every enemy he smashes is like a demon or urge in your life.
He’s a good example how to deal with evil.
Peace
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Haha yeah that’s a good way to look at it honestly. I’m watching my hero academia right now and it’s inspiring to see everyone so passionate about what they believe in. It’s honestly brought me to tears a couple of times 
.
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You are a boxer @Rezboy247. When urges comes, punch it. You are in a boxing ring fighting with your urges, audiences ( we the companions) are watching. It’s your true wrestling, fight it hard.
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I’ll tell you one sentence. Listen carefully.
Only boys masturbate and try to escape reality.
Men are born to suffer the pain and achieve greatness.
I know its hard. I know the pain that you are going through. But you have to do this bro. You have to do the for the self you’ll become after 5-10 years.
Do you want him to become one of the greatest boxer that world has ever seen?
Or an average guy remembered by none. Who is nothing in this world.
You can do this man.
You are beast. Get back up and show your power.
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