Good bye day 138 and hallo day 0.
Well, to be quite honest this relapse felt very good also it ment quite a lot to me.
This challenge receiving good feed back was kinda like wtf and honestly I thought they would close it down. But seeing comments like let’s start now and let’s do it and let’s go early this morning was truely what I didn’t expect.
Also hence the overdrive and quick reply to start tommorrow Sat 26 Sept 2020 it couldn’t wait until Sunday. I felt pumped to do it.
Also urges was felt troughout the week but it didn’t inspire the challenge or made the challenge to have an excuse to relapse. I want a new perspective and also motivate others through this journey as mentioned.
Truely today revolved around the relapse now and again and well it gave me a the final puzzle I need to tell guys what to do in their journey. I thought about getting home going to my room and relapse. I had several urges and due to me being out on a fishing trip. Well kinda didn’t make any room for me to do it. Hence I thought or planned when and where and felt small excitement.
Also I realised today on how this bad habit truely interrupted my life in how my head wasn’t in conversations as I just wanna get out and watch porn and fap or just at home and alone and bored and just fill the time with this crap… It also like showed me like through this day if I intentionally planned for today to happen did I honestly do it back then too and not really have taken notice thereof?
All I want to highlight out of this is what you truely think when it comes to yourself and fapping is to avoid planning in doing it or give it any thought or attention. It was weird doing it, in such a long time it felt good and I felt actually good upon climax like I never have felt before so truely this is good for sexual health that is for sure.
Like I mentioned as a reason in me doing nofap is I realised porn was messing up my life and I realised I was chasing after the wrong things and played with fire and also I said a person has to grow up to stop chasing fantasies as that is what porn is.
I am glad I can stop porn also I know I risk a lot with porn being readily available with one word and a click. But I am not giving up the battle against it and also not giving it hold in my thoughts! As this is also where our main problem sits is our thoughts.
In 20 min the challenge start then it is Saterday by me in South-Africa and then a new journey day 1 of nofap starts. The risk for bingeing is high and also have to watch out for the chaser effect as to not fall into it’s trap! But I am ready and waiting!
Let’s go and good luck! Let’s fight hard again.
Stay strong and awesome