Hello guys!
Ive been watching porn for 15 years.
I was really ashamed of myself after most of orgasms. Thanks to this app ive reached 40 days w no fap but then ive come back and now my addiction is fresh again :/.
I have to say that im doing meditation few times in a week,im doing sports and i have a job. My problem is that one part of me really like kinky stuff and i really enjoy it. Second part feeling shame and dont want to do it (i also have a really nice girlfriend).
Do you have some advices to me?
( im sorry if my english was bad :/)
bless
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Well ask your girlfriend if shes into the kinky stuff. Or just ask her what kinks she has. If they match, you can go ahead and do it. That is if you are sexually active. Otherwise, talk it out and see if she’s interested
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Yee thaths what i thought
but she doesnt fit to my fantasies (i mean i like sex w her but so far i dont want to tell her about it)
i just really want to try woman dominate me but im afraid that ill love it and ill always want sex like this
what do you think?
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Thats what I was saying before. Ask her what she’s into and tell her what she’s into. If she’s fine with it then there’s no problem. If she’s also into it then amazing. If both of you are into sex like that and find no problems in it then it’s ok right. It are you worried that just like in sex you’ll become submissive in real life?
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noo
im afraid that ill dont like casual sex anymore and ill just like domination etc
btw i wanted to try it w another girl, it also turned me on
but on the other way i know that ill feel horrible
i was thinking about just “trying once”
but is the same w drugs etc 
youre trying once than youre addicted
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Hello @mamacitabob
You haven’t provided many details so I can’t really tell what you mean but reading your post does remind me of my past self.
I was in a relationship for many years and I had lots of ideas for things we could “try out”. We did many of those. Looking back, I would say that the majority of those things were driven by a porn addiction induced “desire” to do it. I often would try to pursue her to agree and in many occasions she did. I’ve learnt from that relationship and I would do things differently in the future.
Essentially, I learnt that those things I wanted to try came from an illusion that there’s a superior sexual experience. What I had wasn’t enough and I wanted “more”. I won’t go into details as it definitely would be triggering for people here but keep in mind that you can do XYZ and then at some point doing XYZ won’t be enough, the porn addict mindset wants more and more. A “kink” becomes routine and then the next thing has to come up. In a similar way, many PMOers escalate in the things they watch. I did that too in the past.
Ask yourself: Does your fantasy come from a place of love? Could you just hold her and fall asleep together, and still be satisfied or are you in need of “something”?
Take care.
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Oh ok I get it. But either way just ask her. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Ok so I have an idea. Stick to casual sexual relationship for now. But soon that’ll get a bit boring and mundane and maybe you can mix things up and try things you both like. You know to keep things fresh and Interesting.
And about doing it with another woman. Don’t do it if you are still with your girlfriend coz that’s cheating. Don’t cheat on her. Unless you were talking about doing a threesome or something. If that’s the case, again ask you girl about it. Some girls are Into it while others aren’t. Don’t assume things, clarify beforehand
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@anon13059885 @GOVIND-19
Guys you are right.
Maybe my fantasies are about porn.
When i was 45 days porn free my fantasies was gone but than they showed up againn while i was watching dirty porn :/.
Ill try to stay in my “casual” relationship because i love her.
Take care and stay strong.
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I understand what you mean. Couples of long time who love each other a lot and want to get married , and are sexually active as well, they usually have normal sex however they talk about their fantasies and decide like a date forexample once a month they’ll try a fantasy that both of them like.
Also let me tell you this people who are into a lot of fanties end up getting their personalities also changed sometimes. They are thinking about their fantasies too much and it effects their thinking as well sometimes only the fantasy gives them pleasure
So i would reccomend that just start with being a good couple and normal sex if you are sexually active. Ans in the future you can suggest your fantasies
Also there is this example given by this enlightened sage in India to his students to overcome lust he says
"Look at the guy dragging his cow around, now he cuts the rope tied to the cow, and the cow runs away
He tells his disciples that similarly you are the one who is intrested in his dirty thoughts , it is not the dirty thoughts that are intrested in you".
Hope it helps wish you all the luck​:cherry_blossom:
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