We are doing it wrong

For a long time I felt like something we (or at least many here) are doing is not helping or not leading to the goal I want.

Finally I got time to start watching all youtube videos of “pornreboot”.
He is a porn addiction recovery expert and former addict.
He confirmed what I always thought (it’s too much to write everything down but following just two points)

  • staying abstinent is the last part of recovery not the first!
    Porn spread it’s fingers to every day of our life and changed how we behave. We first have to know why we have this mental illness and fix it. Our main focus here should be to help each other fixing our problems because that is what brings us towards our goal. You will never ever recover just by not fapping! It’s simply not possible (since most of us are all ready too far down in this shit cycle)
    it’s also what I experience. My longest streak was around 55 days and it was the first streak I had when i started using this app (6 months ago). Currently I almost can’t get 2 days without porn but never the less I feel closer to leave it behind than ever before.
    Just because you have 360 days of nofap doesn’t mean that you beat your addiction. it just means that you have a high willpower. If you relapse after 360 days and you only focused on nofap instead of recovering you just start binging again and you are as far as you were on day 1

  • We shouldn’t focus on benefits and bickering around whether this or that destroys this or that benefit. Porn addiction is one of the hardest addiction to beat. Even he as a therapist tells that he is not able to help every single client. There are people who never make it past it. My goal is to be one of the successful. I don’t care if semen retention is beneficial or not, if sex is good or not, if I relapse because I touched my dick or not.
    I wanna be clean! This is my main goal. And I wanna reach that as fast as possible.
    To do that, I don’t care how many days I haven’t fapped. I care about how far my brain is!

I recommend you to watch every single of his videos. Sure, it won’t give you THE solution and he often says that a therapist is the best option you can pick. But that’s just because there is not a solution which fits everyone.

(link of the youtube channel) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbqaPKeiNW6R6LECHwQkRug

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Well summed up thoughts, i think its safe to say when you stop feeling lustful about the things that you watched, and what made you watch you are pretty much succeful thats what i am working on comparing how much lust i used to have the end of last year to now, i can tell i little diffrence already, i also know why i watched it, hence i am working on it, to be honest its a long road but its teaches us many things, the problem is for those that get triggered easly don’t even need internet to be triggered, and they do not even notice it most of the times

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how does one know his mental illness?

Because one doesn’t have control over their personal doings? Sufficient isn’t it?

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to really figure out what the problem is takes a lot of time.
i do it through meditation and analyzing my behaviour.
if i watch porn i thoroughly figure out how i feel. what it is, that i wanna supress by watching porn

Hey mate
How are you? :slight_smile:
Yes I think it was you or someone who had posted ‘PornReboot’ youtube link just a couple of days back on forums here. I took a look and honestly, I signed-up to his website, went through his courses (The Free Ones ofcourse) and noted as to what he said.
As to what you said above is true about the vids!

NoFap alone should never be the goal.
Rather a Better Life, without any addiction to porn which revolves around attention to being healthy, being prosperous, having goals in life to achieve. All in all, being a busy person who has this tons of goals to achieve, those any dreams to fulfill, that he doesn’t have time to becoming the lower- self he was once.
:+1:

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Yea, you are absolutely right!
I did that course too. But I’m not entirely sure what I should think of it. It doesn’t provide that many new information. I guess it is very good if someone is new to this journey.
But today I found out what I like about his videos. During the last half year, I started to take less and less action which is also partially because of this forum. Posts are about not fapping, avoiding triggers, meditation (which is basically doing nothing). All these things are not bad but they are not encouraging to push forward and stay motivated.
And that is what his videos give me. He motivates me to do something about my situation, to take action and to recover. That is why I think that I made a huge leap during the last few days. I had parts of the day where I felt my old self again. The self-motivated and active person who wants to learn and do new things .

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I would also like to recommend watching Seth Alexander on Youtube. I think, the way he advises and well, if I open up the box- He has made 1 last NF video titled ‘One last nf vid to end all nf videos’ meaning now it’s time to look at life’s other windows and close the window of thought about this topic.
Out of mind. Out of way

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