Dude listen, I’ll tell you what, everyone deserves to be happy. No one and I mean no one deserves to be sad because everyone is born innocent, the world is the place that makes us think about what we deserve and what we don’t. I have been at your place and sometimes that depression strikes me too. I start thinking that the world would be a better place if I die. God created a time line for us, believe me, if you could not know the cause for your depression earlier then you were not ready to deal with stuff like that, God knew it. We cannot change what happened to us and we never will, but what we can do is learn from the past and make course corrections along our journey to freedom from this addiction. It’s never too late to go out and socialize because everyone is working on their own pace, if people hold you back then don’t give a fuck to what they think because they do not live inside your body, do what ever the fuck you please. The “if” spiral is quite dangerous because it makes us think about how unfortunate we really are but mostly that is not true, it never will be. Have you ever thought that maybe even if you didn’t masturbate, you might have been the same person that you are now? Enemies at your own home? Please elaborate. You will never be alone, I used to think that too but now I don’t care if I’m alone. I think fuck everyone, if I’m alone I’ll stay alone. You can have me as a friend if you want to. I can talk to your here untill you get better?
Bro, Facebook socialising and chatting is a joke lol.
Who cares if she gets 100 likes, it could be her family and relatives. It could be random dudes wanting to get off to her pics.
Develop your social skills irl. Your life is similar to mine. Make the effort to socialise irl.
You aren’t a victim. You control your own outcome to a large degree. This is something you can beat. No one else can beat it for you. I’d suggest not blaming the addiction and start taking responsibility that you are the one not giving it your all. Don’t mean to beat you up, I’m giving you tough love that should give you hope because since this is true there is hope for you to change. YOU just need to decide, are you going to stay addicted? Or are you going to fight everyday and pull yourself out of your depression? This is surely a thing to be proud of if you do. Now if you are a believer in God you should ask him for help aswell, but if not you can do it too. Best of luck. God bless.
Dude, I am a hot-headed person before and I inherited this from my mother or is it because of excessive masturbation? I easily get angry if someone makes fun of me and pisses me off. I created so many enemies quietly and I cannot stop it. I can’t control my temper because I think I am not a normal person. I don’t even look like a 26 years old. I look more 15 or 18 years old. But thanks to nofap cause I can control my temper now and I promise that I will not pay attention if someone pisses me.
Unfortunately for me cause I was born an introvert. I have phobia and social anxiety since I was a child and it’s in my father’s bloodline. I remember when I was 7, 8 and 9… I’m sure I haven’t discovered masturbation at that age but I am bad at socializing with other kids. I don’t know but I enjoy nature and I love being alone walking in any quiet place. Phobia hits me if someone scolded me at that time. I repeated that routine until I discovered masturbation when I reached 11 and I was so addicted to it. Being an introvert contributed so much to my addiction of masturbation. But now, with nofap I think I can do anything. I only regrets because this energy would’ve been useful in my youthful days. You see when I’m in highschool you can find me sitting quietly and awkwardly at the back of the classroom. I lacked motivation and always problematic at that time. I felt ugly and I think because of masturbation.
But bro, most of the people and my friends I know are into facebook. I’m the only one that is not. I’m afraid girls will think that I’m a creep because my fb account doesn’t have bloom like them. What if I meet new people especially girls?? It cannot be avoided to add them as a friend on fb because messenger is kinda my thing of communications. Besides I can save money if I use messenger instead of texting. I’m afraid they will see me as a low class and anti-social person. But anyway… I have decided to abstain myself from social media except youtube because I see some obscene and lewd posts on facebook that triggers me. I might have to block this girl in fb so I cannot see her post anymore but she lives 100 meters away from my house and it doesn’t matter cause I will still be able to see her. My depression will come back everytime I see this girl. I don’t have a choice but to unfollow her.
What? Yeah I’m not a victim, I’m just a victim of stupid fate. I tell you my story… why does my father watches pornography on tv and he even lets me watched it when I was 5 years old? I remember that is the first time it awakens my sexual desire. This is a sickness that is in my blood also. I inherited this from my father. I always masturbate when I’m alone. Things have gotten worst when I discovered porn in internet when I reached 14. I cannot avoid to watch porn because it is so tempting. All of my friends, siblings and cousins are watching it but I’m the only one that is addicted to PMO. But now nofap changed me, I can control my urge even if I see some triggering images. I am proud of my 33 days streak last April. The only thing that is going to make me relapsed is the rejection of a girl and my disappointment to my streaks who have gone back to zero when I factory resetted my phone.
With all due respect, please try to seek professional help. It will help you heal quickly.
Dude you need professional help, like ASAP. No offence but you were exposed to pornographic content at a very early age, that is I think the root cause of this addiction. And your cousins might be addicted, you can’t possibly know what happens in their minds whilst they view it, people are very good pretenders.
Bro, that happened to me too (getting angry). Dude, what is the definition of normal, can you tell me? Also about the phobia, what I think is that you have associated your lack of socialising skills with negative re enforcement of the idea that you’ll never be able to be good at that( that is because of small errors that you may have done while you were in social settings) . Is that an accurate assessment? Who scolded you? Bro I have a book for you. It is called Treating Pornographic Addiction, By Dr Kevin B Skinner. It will help you find out the reasons for your many behaviours, specially social anxiety.
That book is dope!!! Read like last year. I realized that I was not that messed up like I dreaded or what my brain tried to enforce upon me. Worst cases than myself have healed only through patience and perseverance.
But dude, I think nofap is enough to heal me. I wasn’t able to watch porn anymore since February. I am shy to go seek for professional help and I don’t have money to pay for it. My cousins maybe addicted to porn but they aren’t addicted to masturbation as much as me. My cousins and my brothers are married early because they have social skills that I don’t.
Bro, excessive masturbations destroys my way of thinking. If only you have watch the video about why nofap destroys social anxiety. Masturbation causes brain to release dopamine. Lack of dopamine causes depression and social anxiety. Lack of dopamine causes prolactin to take over into your brain. High prolactin makes you an anti-social and content with life even if you are a loser. That is why I always think negative about myself and scared of what people think of me. Phobia not only hits me if someone scolded me. It also hits me if I disappoint someone or if someone threatens me. That happened a long time ago when I was just a child. That don’t happened to me anymore cause I am an adult now.
That book of yours, can I read it online?
Thanks but I am okay with nofap. Besides I can save money with it.
I agree professional help may be for you. I’m sorry for my other comment then, I did not know you were a victim when you were younger. Professional help could help you resolve those issues. If you do not want professional help then yes nofap will help you. All you have to do is dedicate yourself. That’s literally it. Just say no when the urge comes, for your life.
Reading Cognitive behavioural therapy would help imo. Its related to changing faulty patterns of thinking/feeling/behaving. One example:
“I think that I’m a loser because I don’t have many friends and likes on Facebook”.
it’s faulty or irrational because “my” self worth is not determined by my social media page. Imagine the world before Facebook and the internet. People had wonderful lives but they also went through some shit that no one knew. But they couldn’t promote publicly how wonderful their lives were during the good times. Its only until now.
If you dont want to get into counselling ( i did). Through the help of several people in my life.
Pornography can be a cause, but I would think that there are other root causes such as loneliness and depression which creates a black hole for people in this current generation.
With high speed internet, video games, pornography etc. They aren’t inherently bad/evil/ damaging in themselves but people would know anything in excess is not good for you.
I mean now with my easy access to video games during the times I play on my Uni break on a gaming PC, Im much more happier than before. Because I have things to distract me from my negative feelings. But its also because I choose not to hide in my room anymore and that video games are a passion and hobby of mine. And I still have things to achieve in life before I die. We only get one life, why waste it wallowing in self-pity. I was a hikikomori/NEET in my 17-20 years of age. I self harmed and abused pornography and masturbation. I still have an internet addiction though lol.
I have much more self-confidence in myself now that I’m 25. Used to have excessive social anxiety, now i dont really care about peoples perceptions of me. Life is short and susceptible to things beyond your control. why worry about it? I only have one life as I believe (grew up a Christian now an atheist).
In the end, people are too much more self-interested in their own lives to really care about a stranger’s (just my worldview though). Doesn’t mean that goodness and acts of compassion do not exist.
Hit us up if you need to talk.
Being born an introvert is not a curse. It is a strength, an asset. I assume that you’re stronger than you let on, thats why you’re still living (read my name lol). Some people argue that death is much more painless and quicker than living.
Have you read the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain?
I suggest you read it.
Breathe, man. Breathe! We all relapsed at one point; it is how you deal with it that matters. Broke my 68 day streak last week myself, but i am doing better with 7 days hard mode and no peeking. As for this woman, try to work on yourself first and overcome this addiction and self confidence issues, or it could spiral out of control.
Also seek therapy to help you work through this. Your depression can be managed with outside help.
Nahh, ah… depression always attacks me since I was a teenager and thanks God I was able to recover from it many times. It’s just that this girl and fb thing is the greatest depression that I’ve ever had because I was so ashamed with it. I was ashamed because all her friends know that I was going to court her and that I can’t sleep thinking about her at night (a friend of mine said that to her friend also). I have done this mistake before and I don’t want to repeat it but pick-up artist made me do it. Fuck all their advise that I’ve seen on Google and YT, lol it doesn’t work on my country. Fuck all their advise on how to be not nervous around girls lol they didn’t know only nofap is the answer.
This is true. Only you can help yourself, but socializing with other people does have some benefit.
Knowing that you need to stop PMO (or whatever addiction) is one thing, knowing how to stop doing PMO is another. Philosopher Gilbert Ryle argued that knowing that one should do something does not translate into knowing how one should do something. Besides reading and talking about resisting PMO (‘knowing that’), what have you done in practice (‘knowing how’) to resist PMO?
To extend on this, I suggest watching her TED Talk first, then reading the book if you want to know more details.
@TheWillToLive , your screen-name is the thesis of Schopenhauer’s philosophy. Are you a fan?