Wasted and Depressed.. Death is the only solution now

Can somebody help me with my depression right now? I think nobody can. I just got relapsed one day ago and I chatted this girl that flirted me but she just ignore me. I just thought that she wants me when she flirted with me for two months. Now I know she is just playing with me cause she knows that I keep on looking at her before she came to me first. We are not compatible cause she is an extrovert and I am an introvert. I know for a fact that I don’t have a chance on her but I still keeps going cause I don’t know if she wants me or not!? Sometimes she get upset if I deny her. You know not every word that a woman says is true. I know and experience this! I accept the fact that we are not destined for each other. Now I started hating her. Her face is so much older and thicker than mine btw. I don’t want her anymore but what gets me depressed right now is when I stalk on her facebook timeline cause I want to find her pic with her old face that discouraged me from her. But when I stalk, I ended up seeing her past joyful pics with her friends, classmates and families! She really have a happy life cause I think this girl doesn’t fap even if she doesn’t have a boyfriend! She has a pretty eyes and face but she looks old and had a pimples in her nose and cheeks. I get depressed cause I envied her and her friends happy life. Their social medias are joyful than mine. They get a 100+ likes in their photos in facebook while mine struggles in less than 10 likes. I lose the strategy of social media because I don’t socialize in it for so many years. I feel like I wasted my entire life with PMO. I feel like I am a waste since I was born. My face is even askew and my smile too. If reincarnation is real then I am not afraid to die right now.

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Dude!!! What are you saying…live the life just day by day. The real way is Jesus…focus on him. Don’t waste your time thinking about that girl…there is a lot of girls in the planet…About the PMO addiction…we are all in this…we can fight this. You have the power of the decision about what kind of person you wanna be…Dont go for the easy way…always choose the hard way, and fight on it. Every day, one step…C’mon!!!

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Thanks dude. I honestly don’t want girls anymore. I maybe depressed but I keep telling to myself that I need to do these three things right now. I need to focus on my nofap journey, I need to socialize and I need to save money for myself. My longest streak is 34 days and I want to streak a 90 days. I know I can do this and I will keep trying. I hope the demons behind me will stay away from me. Please God help me find a solution to this problem. Please help me succeed in this journey.

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Oh…man…

First of all, she is not the only girl on this planet. In this age of globalisation, you can get and marry a girl from any corner of the world. Am from India. And one guy I know married a girl from Brazil and having a good life. Their parents are happy. He takes care of his parents back in India also. So YOU SURELY HAVE LOTS OF GIRLS WAITING FOR YOU THERE.

But does the dating and hooking up with a girl is your life goal? I am not saying its bad. It’s okey. But one should have a greater purpose in life.

Start looking after yourself. If you are not taking care of your body, start it today itself. Eat healthy. Exercise. Hit gym if you like.

Start acquiring knowledge. Start reading books. Do you know a book is a hardwork of years by that author. That means you are getting years of some ones experience stories in one single book of 300-500 pages. And there are thousands and thousands of them. It would be shamefully if you don’t read them before you die.

Start learning some new skills in your interest. If you are interested in Guitar, start learning it. If it is in sports, start your journey for being good at it. Find your interest and start working on it.

And about the death and reincarnation you were talking about.

Do you know the avergae life expectancy of a human being as of now is close to 70 years. It’s a small period when you take in to account all those sleeping time. And in such a small time , what all we can do. Whatever small we can do, we have to do it.

There are a lot of opportunities. You just have to find the one that makes you happy and follow it. If you realised that something did not make you happy, then leave it and move on.

I donno how old are you and from which part of the world are you from. But be courageous man. Move on.

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I once thought that was the only solution to my problems. Death and nothing else. That death will make my pain go away. The dumb mistakes, heart broken soul of mine, and the regrets in life, and the fact that i am whimpy and can’t be a true man version. All these things is what gave me excuses to kill myself. But you know what?
I can’t and I won’t be happy even if I do die, I told myself if I will die then it will be from honor and giving it all I got no Matter how whimpy I am. No matter how stupid others tell me I am or unintelligent or etc…
No matter man, if you die you die with honor. And to that my friend I die for. No Fap for life, to God be the glory for life.
Because if I die it’s for a cause.
Amen.

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Thanks man, I am from Philippines btw. I don’t brag but I am not bad looking. I’m 26 years old but I have a baby face. I have a beautiful round eyes and l can say that few girls on the street are attracted to me. I can’t get a girlfriend cause I don’t socialize enough unlike my friends, siblings and cousins. I don’t socialize cause I am addicted to PMO for 14 years. She is not the only girl that rejected me. I have been rejected by girls for many times. I think because they see me as a weird and and anti-social type. I am shy and I am not choosy when it came to girls. It’s just that pretty girls are nicer and always come to me first.

About the gym, I think I can’t do that because I have no time and I am too shy for that. I do workout here in my boss’ house btw which is my workplace actually. I lift weights in the morning and do push ups and sit ups in the afternoon. About the book, I might consider buying some in the bookstore if I am done reading my Bible.

Being alone and lonely is not easy man. My siblings and cousins are married and I’m the only one that’s left now. This is going to be hard but I’m gonna carry this. Besides I am not the only one that has this problem. I know some that had gotten older and not married. I know one of my neighbors here and he is 35-40+ btw. Before, I thought nofap’s not gonna work for me if I don’t have girls to flirt but now I changed my mind. I can do this without girls. I don’t hate girls but I don’t want girls either right now.

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From my love what you need to focus on really is yourself. If someone comes along the way that you’re comparable with then cool, but if you’re that depressed you need to fix that. Before you have anyone else in your life because that depression will just linger even after the relationship.

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So commit. Tommorow is a new start for you, a beginning of a new you. Will you commit to this? Or do u want to keep going the same way you are now?

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I just wanted to cry right now man. My depression is consuming my brain. I don’t have any reason to continue living right now. Fear of God and fear to be in hell is what keeps me from killing my own self. I know some teenagers here kill themselves because of depression even if they have a girlfriend. I just wanted to say that if reincarnation is real then it’s better for me to die and be born again.

Pray for me brother…

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I don’t know. Commit if my depression will go away tomorrow. If not, then death would be my great pleasure.

I donno how the culture is there Philippines. I mean how you guys get married. Is it same as western countries. Mainly by dating for sometime and then getting married. In India its mostly arranged marriages which involves both family.

Am also to be 26 in next couple of months. I would say that dont worry about marriage. You will find your right partner. And i must say that the beauty or good looking should not be the primary criteria for marriage. Its good that you are attractive to girls. Then it will become easy. Stop thinking about looking good for getting married.

Just concentrate on committing to yourself 100%. I mean your job. Learn new things everyday. And grow as a better human being every single day. Make your career the best.

Meanwhile a right girl will come for you. And you will get married also. These are precious years in your life. The very energetic youth period. And you should use that in more productive things.

Its good that you are exercising at home. That’s wonderful. Congratulations.
And read Bible if that’s what you keeping involved. Learn the good messages. And apply it n life.

All this will transform you as a good human being. And i guarantee you girls like good and honest man.

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I see and know how bad it gets. I’ve been where you are. All those feelings will eventually pass and nofap helps so much bro u just got to stick to it. Trust me, you’ll feel 100x better. Small steps is better than no steps. :heart:

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In old times, arranged marriages are popular here for quite sometime. But now in modern times, we adapted the Western culture. People here date for a couple of months or years and then get married. I think arranged marriages in my country only exist in upper class society for sometimes.

Thanks for the wonderful messages man. You’re right, looks are not the ones should I find for a girl. As I said, I will focus on my nofap journey now, socialize more and learn new things.

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All the best man…

Have a good life ahead…

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So many things to say about this:

  • You only focus on looks. I know, it sounds lame, but the beauty really comes from the inside. The first thing you see is how a girl or guy looks. And sure to find a wife, you should be attracted to her. But how you perceive a girl also highly depends on the personality.
    As example. Me and my girlfriend: when we first met, we were both not attracted to each other. I didn’t find her particularly beautiful and I think it was the same the other way around. We both had our severe mental illnesses. But as soon as our condition got better, we started to get attracted to each other.
    So: you will look more attractive if you feel better about yourself

  • You are talking about all the joyful pics on insta and co. These don’t tell you anything!! about how a person feels and how good her life is. Everyone can smile for a pic and look happy. Everyone can go to a beautiful place, take a picture and pretend that he feels good about life. But oftentimes they don’t!

  • She gets more likes that you? Who cares? I wanna have friends how like me as a person in real life. I don’t wanna have hundreds of friends of fb which I never meet in real life.

  • not all the time you spend during the last years is completely wasted. That would be if you spent 24 hrs fapping. But I guess that is not the case. So, you still did something besides it. Focus on the positive things you did

  • Your message focuses so much on appearance. Of how you look to others. This is just not a good thing to do. You have to be happy with yourself.

  • And no, death is never a solution. You said, that you wasted the last years. But you still have another 50 or whatever years. You know what the best way is to waste these 50 completely? suicide. You are basically throwing every possibility away to accomplish anything

Keep going, you can do it

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Making Our Lord number one in your life and respecting yourself and others is the only way you will find authentic happiness. When we objectify others and let our feelings rule us, we are guaranteed to be disappointed by what comes. You have many great things ahead in your life if you begin to prioritize things. Life is beautiful when lived well.

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Success comes with your belief system.
Do you believe in God yes or no? You decide. Depending how you answer is how strong your personal belief faith system is. If christian then you should know reincarnation doesn’t exist, we come back to the dust and sleep. Made of dust and so we go back.
Do you believe you can be free from addiction? Yes or no? Answer with sincere inner desire. The yes you answer has to have emotion behind it to the point you will do whatever it takes to get rid of it. And I mean whatever it takes man. !
God willing you get better. Amen.

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Please read it all before you do anything stupid.

Hear me loud and clear, i know what you are feelinf because i went throught this. I loved a girl with all my hearth, i wrote her a poem but then she fucking friendzone me and you know this is the worst thing it can happen to a man. A whole fucking night writing a poem to get rejected and this was the first time i wrote a poem. I felt like i’m fallin down, i relapsee from 3 months of nofap, i gave up, i had 0 motivation. But then i started to listen to rap music, eminem especially and i could relate to what he said in his songs. The only key to get out of my depression was to write raps and poem, guess what, i wrote 8 raps to insult her, but i didn’t show them to anyone, it was just for me. I also do martial arts for now 2 years so i just imagined she was infront of me and smash the hell out of the bag.I cried alot and i recommend you to do it also, cry man because crying make you strong and not weak just like society tells you. Then I started to take care of myself, i tried to become stylish and handsome, as a result now i’m living my best life, i’m getting attetion from all the pretty girls and now i realised that the girl that friendzone me was a low value girl but i still thanked her because she actually was the reason i wanted to be a fucking alpha. The word is balanced, if you make people happy you will be happy, if you give with a honest spirt you get back, if you try to improve yourself then you will.

Falling down is the best thing that can happen to you because it’s throught challenge that you grow strong. Know that everyone of us are great as fuck but we keep sabotaging ourselves. So what you can do is : Breath deep into your gut and scream like a psycho.Release the tention, punch walls, kick your pillow, slam your door. Sign up to a gym and pump this fucking iron up.m, and last thing : follow your hearth, if you really love her then try your chance and tell her, and if you get rejected then make her regret and let that be the fuel to your greatness, become so strong that she would blaem herself for missing your incredible person. And for social media, this is just superfical. Social media is just a keyhole on someone’s life, do you really think that she will post on instagram that her dad beat her, or if she is insecure about her body , or maybe her fucking hemoroide from the last week? I don’t think so, social media is a trick to give yourself an awesome image.

Never give up because you are not a coward, be a warrior and FOLLOW YOUR HEARTH and forget your brain because society have washed from your birth.

Good luck man, i know you can do it because i did. Don’t hurt yourself and keep moving forward.

Give me your number so we can talk on whatsapp, if you want of course, i only want to help you because no one helped me when i was in your situation.

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I don’t really feel what you said in your original post but what I can tell you from experience is that, the way you are feeling right now, this will pass. In the end it always does so. Don’t you lose hope that someday you will be happy because you will be, and you’ll think back to this day and say to yourself, “we really don’t know God’s plan for us and look how happy I am today”

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Why should I be happy? When all of my hopes and dreams are broken and scattered? If only I am not addicted to masturbation, I would have been a better person today. Nofap completely changed me that I became an extrovert and it’s too late for me cause I am all alone now. I am 26 years old and I cannot use this energy inside of me. I cannot socialize anymore cause I am years ahead on my friends and cousins when it comes to experience!! If only I had known masturbation is the cause of my depression and anxiety since highschool I would have been sociable and jolly person if I stop it early. I could have many friends as much as I want. But now it’s too late, I am isolated here at work far away from my home. I can’t go live back at my home because I have an enemies in there. I don’t have friends here who can accompany me going into some places. I am going to be alone and lonely forever. :slightly_frowning_face: