Warriors_Journey's diary

Hey guys, so I decided to post about my experiences with the urges.
Monday, 28th January, 2019
Currently on my 3rd day after I lost my 27 days streak last friday.
So yesterday I finished my last exam, I was extremely tired that I woke up today at 10 am, college is far away from home so I decided to remain at my house for today in order to organise my lessons and prepare for the 2nd term exams…
I woke up really tired, and I felt disappointed that I would not be able to maintain my schedule that I wrote yesterday (I planned to wake up at 5:30 am)
And so I just remained in bed, because I was still tired, and thoughts came to me, about how perfect my life would have been, had I made the right decisions in the past… Which led to me getting depressed… I was just lying in bed, imagining, and then of course the urges kicked in, I came up for all sorts of excuses to relapse(for example I was stressed, tired, and today is the 28th January, and February only has 28 days… So if I relapse today I’d achieve 30 days by the end of February… I even thought about creating another account… )
I was also at home with my very old grandma, so yeah it is the perfect opportunity to relapse right ?

I tried resisting the urges, I reminded myself about the after math of a relapse, tried meditation…but the thoughts were uncontrollable, I was about to re-activate incognito mode in my PC… And then I tried my last resort, 3 verses about guarding one’s chastity in the Quran. People said that it helped them and just as I listened to it, believe me or not, boom urges vanished.
Here it is
S 22(Al-M’uminun), verses from 1 till 11 :
" 1. Certainly will the believers have succeeded
2. They who are during their prayer humbly submissive
3. And they who turn away from ill speech
4. And they who are observant of zakah
:five: And they who guard their private parts.
:six: Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed -
:seven: But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors -
8. And they who are to their trusts and their promises attentive
9. And they who carefully maintain their prayers -
10. Those are the inheritors
11. Who will inherit al-Firdaus(Paradise) . They will abide therein eternally. "

this is what worked for me just a few minutes ago, and I am suddenly motivated about my studies…
So I thank God for saving me from the pit I was about to fall in.

Lesson learned, I will never ever stay at home alone, no matter what the reason is.
My problem is that I don’t know how to properly prepare a schedule and stick to it…