You should work till you collapse, there is no other way to avoid a relapse. It’s coming from 12 years of experience, the urges always attack once you’re relaxing or doing nothing. It’s always very bad to let the urges take you over so you need to resist with all your strength
it’s damn difficult to move on when someone shows much interested in other times than today. but hell yeah it’s the same life which has to start everything again. liked the above quote. I hope you are doing well.
i have again relapsed. i am going in a reverse direction of my goal no matter. Day 0
heaviness in failure.
How much you can can fall for someone without valuing your own self. When you like her and wishes her to have a good life because you feel like, you are not worth for her. Even she tells you today, i need some space for someone else This is what happened all about today. life is still beautiful. but hell yeah same time full of problems and pain.
Uninstalled all of the social media and staying away from her. The main problem is not her status ( single/ commited) rather my PMO habit which made my value to nothing. When it was 100 days without pmo, I was pretty confident and very next moment when i relapsed I went to the same place infact still struggling to come back. but Now it’s over. I will get more time and more space for myself from now on. I will see when how and what making my self to feel like looser.
Day 6 / streak 6: status= clean
It’s not easy to go away from someone whom you got attached emotionally. Literally I feel like why did I make friendship with her or showed my interest to get married. Earlier whatever we had the conversation now it feels like it was my own emotions reflected in the mirror. I know her world and friends are different and soon she will find another guy who is smart, handsome as well a better person( even she never missed my presence anymore i have noticed) but hell yah this feels like a shit when someone has no interest on you anymore. Okay, anyways someday I had to accept this real truth. Adding to it, I am already the slave of this PMO.
Okay. Let look at the other side. enough complaining this life.
This time won’t let this happen. I may be a bad person for her but I am never going to surrounder to this pmo neither i am a bad person. I will still wish her a good luck in her journey to get a perfect partner by closing my eyes. next time I won’t show my emotions to any one this world, who can change next day like this. I need to let her go from my memories as well as from my emotions. Don’t know how i can remove her completely but i will accept the truth is as is! she is no longer interested in me and i should respect her space and time towards me
I am fighting for PMO as well as emotionally with the lady who said she needed some space. From that day I have decided I won’t disturb her. Thought of deleting her from my life but yeah I reminded, I am no longer a kid to show these things. Let her grow and get married who she wants. I am living my life and growing in my career but not just for her. Life is full of surprises and miracles. My time will come and I will shine.Till then i need to have some patience. this PMO has made me impatient on everything i do.huh🙂
Impatient again. Feels like hell external environment as well internally. whatever happens i am not going back by giving some scope to pmo. whatever i am doing is wrong today. infact feels like going somewhere from here. let this day paas asap.
I was showing my emotions by dropping tears from eyes. I am strong but for some reason outside environment made me feel alone and isolated. I haven’t touched a drop of water for last 24hrs now after a long fight with parents had food. life sometimes making me sick of career choices and decisions. I feel so stupid and dumb that i was crying infront of mom.
Better than yesterday. But still need a lot of improvements especially sleeping time and chatting
she has already moved on it seems and i left alone to die. It’s hard to resist but yeah only time will show me who will stay. No more message or any marriage related discussion. Feels bad as well good that she let me go from her world. I am counting another one week of time. After that I will make sure won’t remain visible in her life.
Excess pressure of work. Wasted whole day in chitchat.Peeking for sometime. now relapsed. felt relaxed but now this shit will hunt me down for next 22 days. Time: 2:41 Am
- Lost Job due to laidoff ( though a top performer)
- Marriage cancelled
- Still a slave of PMO
Now thinking what else can be taken away?
Are you fine? A lot has happened to you. Take care of yourself dude.
thank you, i will takecare of myself that is for sure. Forget about PMO,you know what in real life things are not just in ur control no matter how desperately we may try.Eventually difficult time will pass and good days will return.I do believe I hope you are doing well @BlackMagic123