[WalkWithoutFear] Pledge to Kill korn forever! 🌄

Diary
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21

Day 0
I was staying busy with work, I watched an anime yesterday the day after relapse but I wasn’t there for long, I exercised yesterday which is day 0 and just tried to stay focused, I still had anxiety to go out and do some things outside work but I will meditate so I don’t get those anxieties like last time and to reflect on my why that I posted. RELAPSING always sucks! Once you get a little curious you won’t stop, that’s why I’m doing hard mode.:pray::muscle:

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22

Day 6
Keep hustling. Getting more energy and confidence than I had compared to day 0. I’m more driven to do things now. Have acknowledged my power and the feeling of it. The previous days I was just working at my job and getting busy with doing stuff around here and there. staying away from any thing that does me harm. Keep going :muscle::muscle::fire::fire:

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23

I was using my phone too much watching YouTube videos and I ended up relapsing. That was my mistake. I have to limit my phone use this time if I want to continue on high streaks. I ended up relapsing alot of times. I exercised after. And my GF told me what I was doing and she didn’t know and just made up a story. Anyways, the only way to move forward is to limit phone use because that can also be addictive which leads to laziness then porn.

24

Day 0
I am starting this new day fresh and want to do some activities here and there. Let’s go !!

25

Day 3 today July, 8 2022
I have been getting busy ever since I relapsed. I wanted to get back my “why” back!! I am becoming more stronger and know what I did wrong this time. I was too much in social media like YouTube and TikTok. I need to limit my usage of my social media consumption and maybe go out more, read a book, exercise, sing, do hobbies but limit your media. When I relapsed I felt really exhausted and my body couldn’t stop masturbating it was insane to the point I didn’t do it no more. I did it all day almost after my 7 day streak relapse. Over the last few days 1,2 and 3 I’ve gotten a little urges but not much. I am just focusing on improving myself always now. Goodmorning to this lovely Friday. God Bless everyone’s journey. :pray::pray::muscle:

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26

Wow! Congrats to myself. I finally made it to day 11.
Day 11
I was constantly getting productive and just fighting for my “why” because if you have a strong why to get up in the morning and do your goals then you will destroy your enemies to I had some urges yesterday and the days that followed but my “why” pushed me. When I relapsed I was crying over not being my true self, sometimes you have to look yourself in the mirror to admit it to yourself and talk to yourself. I now have the mentality of a warrior, God fearing person, self improvement person, no fear No Fear!! Keep going!! You got nothing to lose! I can do this! Say this to yourself so you don’t give up! Your past self is dead and you have killed him. A new you today and everyday that passes now. A new journey!!
God Bless :pray::pray:

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27

Day 2
I was getting busy these few days and am now building a routine to wake up early and sleep early so I can avoid laziness or procrastinating. Limiting phone use to 1 or 2 hours a day. I need to stay active in this journey. I relapsed alot after my 11 days streak, so now I understand what I need to do.
I’m about to workout again and eat healthy. God Bless this Monday. :pray::muscle::fire:

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28

Day 0
I let my mind take over. I didn’t meditate. That was my downfall for this Tuesday 08/03/2022. I will ignore social media for sometime and just focus on my mind and avoid phone use. I will start again. Don’t give up. I must preoccupy my mind.

29

Day 1
I was working today in my job. I organized my money as well and tried to stay preoccupied. I will talk to my GF for a bit. I will also get back to QA Engineering. I must maintain meditation and sleep early and wake early routine. :pray:

30

Day 6
I kept on concentrating on my goals after I relapsed 6 days ago, reflected, told myself this is it! added porn blocker and stuff. I’m pushing myself to get out of the house and do stuff. It’s hard but step by step. I am working at my job alot as well.
I had a little urges today but I just remember why I started. Get busy. :muscle::fire:.
Things to do today:

  1. Work
  2. Meditate
  3. Rest in between the day.
  4. Practice some writing skills to get your brain fog destroyed.
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31

Be an unstoppable force. :muscle::fire::pray: praise God.

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32

Day 3
After so many relapses I have told myself to keep getting up and to commit this time. I have fallen so many times but everytime I fall I learn what I did.
Things I didn’t do that made me relapse:

  1. Didn’t use time limit for social media and limiting phone usage to only 1 hour or 2.
  2. Didn’t workout when I have urges.
  3. Didn’t go outside more to stay away from the house for a bit.
  4. Didn’t meditate often like I should have. I procrastinated.
  5. Controlling my emotions.
  6. Sleep at the right time and wake up at the right time.
  7. Read the bible more. Pray often.

My goal therefore is to have more discipline with myself. I will do just say. I won’t say. I will let my actions speak. I am also taking Indian powders and some spirulina. It helps to calm me down and with cognitive function. I will also eat less junk food. I can still eat but more homemade foods. Okay God Bless today day 3. Keep hustling and grinding. Staying busy. :pray::pray::muscle::muscle::fire:

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33

I know the reasons why I failed

  1. Controlling of emotions lacking
  2. Didn’t set my boundaries with my GF online.
  3. Simply always scrolling in social media.
  4. Balancing time for meditation.
    REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER.
    This is important.
34

Day 0
Starting over again. Gaining control of my emotions and trying to stay on my meditation journey. I will exercise and meditate and take cold showers in the days that follow. I don’t care if my GF says that I need to give her so much time. If she really loves me she would understand that I’m a busy man and I can always videochat her sometime because I still love her. Anyways. I will concentrate on this journey now. God Bless me. Amen. :pray::fire::muscle:

35

Remember if you fail you will feel like a lower self of a man. You will feel lower than what you can truly be. Don’t be that man. Be a man who unleashes his true potential. :fire::muscle::muscle:Make a mark in this world.

36

Day 2
Today I am going to work early today. Eat a good meal. Drop off my sis to her dad’s place and meditate or do some drawings if I feel boredom or read a book.
If I have time I will do some cardio exercises.
2 days ago I felt miserable. I looked back at what I have done and accomplished. I will not say but rather prove with my own actions. God bless this journey of mine. :pray::muscle::fire::fire:

37

Day 1
Starting over in a better way this time. Even though I relapsed. I am starting off strong now. :fire::muscle::pray:

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38

Day 3
Keep getting busy and stay holy for your God. :pray::pray: That power and energy a man has must be tunneled into Good things. This journey is all about channeling your inner man and growing in a healthy way. Today I feel more relaxed, I had an energy surge yesterday and felt amazing after a workout I had in day 1. While I was working out in day 1 I imagined the reason I keep at this journey and improving myself. I have a good side and bad side constantly fighting with each other. I accept my good side and will nourish that power with justice. God bless my walk. Amen. :pray::muscle::fire:
Pick up your cross and walk.

39

Day 4
I slept a little late due to talking to much to my GF online. But I rested and meditated. I am feeling better. Still a little groggy. Let’s go :sunglasses:

40

Day 0
I had a setback. But I will get back up no matter what depression got me and addiction got me. But I never quite. im training my focus.
Must do:

  1. Wake up on time and if your not getting energy you didn’t sleep well. Do stuff before you scroll social media.
  2. Meditate consistently
  3. Don’t look at your bank balances all the time. (Causes stress and overthinking)
  4. No eating out
  5. No edging. Take down social media influencers who are woman who show their bodies alot in Instagram or other platforms. Porn blocker to the fullest as well. !!