Vortexkickers Diary

This is my first Diary. Monday was day zero because I relapsed that day. I was so upset that I wrote a long message on here and cried about my relapse.

Tuesday. I bought a new car.

Wednesday I had to go to work early.

Thursday is today. I created a Diary. As of right now which is quarter to 8am, I am just a few hours away from 3 days. I am looking forward to reaching 4 days and after that I want to reach a week. Readers, wish me good luck.


Ok. I relapsed. But here is why. I simply had strong feelings of missing PMO. I gave in. I have to restart.

Man this is so hard. Yesterday when I felt an urge, I tried the urge button in this app and it killed that urge. This time, I just desired it.

Does anyone ever just desire and give in?

Honestly I don’t blame you for not controlling your thoughts. There will be times when we are vulnerable to addiction no matter how hard we fight. What I have learnt from my past failures is that we cannot fully depend on willpower to succeed in No fap. I have taken some steps to succeed in No fap a few days ago. I hope it may work for you.

I used Stay Focused to permanently block apps while I used Your Slice which works in such a manner that you can use a particular app on specific mentioned timing.
I deleled social media like Instagram, Twitter , Facebook etc. Now the only source of social media I cant delete is You Tube.

I used Stay Focused to block you tube.
The good thing about Your Slice app is that it can block itself. So here it as follows

  1. Used Stay Focused to Block You Tube
  2. Used Your Slice to block Stay Focused and Your Slice ( I did this to so that I can prevent myself from unblocking You Tube when my urge is bad.)

Now Your Slice will ask you to specify the time interval to use a particular app. I typed the following
Starts: 5 am
Ends : 5 am
By doing this you are blocking Your Slice permanently. I know its bit complicated but its worth the try. I was saved from many strong urges those times. The only way you can escape from this permanent block is to delete these app.

I joined one challenge in the forum, where my daily goal is not to delete those apps.

My another source of relapse was laptop. I kept it in the drawing room and promised myself no to change its position.

This is for you @Vortexkicker I know its super long. But i believe this strategy will help you.

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I relapsed today. I’m sad and tired. I reached 3 days without any of it. No imaged, no porn.

And then a simple thought from the enemy in the spirit realm, suggests and pushes it upon me and I give in.

Woke up at 6 am relapsed for a whole hour 7am to 8am. Watched P, and desired to M, and you know how it ends.

3 days again. Ok. I want to make it to 4 and then more. I am less than 24 hours from getting to that 4th day.

Wish me luck

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Just couldn’t last. 3 days seems to be my trouble time. I can’t seem to reach 4 days with Masterbation.

It’s like once 3 days hits, I fall apart.

I need a recommendation from anyone.

I woke up today with feelings of desperation, loneliness, neediness, and sadness.

I dont know how to fix this.

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I suggest you to start a habit challenge here. By building new habits, maybe you may feel motivated everyday. And exercise and meditation is the best destroyers of negative emotions.