This is my first Diary. Monday was day zero because I relapsed that day. I was so upset that I wrote a long message on here and cried about my relapse.
Tuesday. I bought a new car.
Wednesday I had to go to work early.
Thursday is today. I created a Diary. As of right now which is quarter to 8am, I am just a few hours away from 3 days. I am looking forward to reaching 4 days and after that I want to reach a week. Readers, wish me good luck.
Ok. I relapsed. But here is why. I simply had strong feelings of missing PMO. I gave in. I have to restart.
Man this is so hard. Yesterday when I felt an urge, I tried the urge button in this app and it killed that urge. This time, I just desired it.
Does anyone ever just desire and give in?
Honestly I don’t blame you for not controlling your thoughts. There will be times when we are vulnerable to addiction no matter how hard we fight. What I have learnt from my past failures is that we cannot fully depend on willpower to succeed in No fap. I have taken some steps to succeed in No fap a few days ago. I hope it may work for you.
I used Stay Focused to permanently block apps while I used Your Slice which works in such a manner that you can use a particular app on specific mentioned timing.
I deleled social media like Instagram, Twitter , Facebook etc. Now the only source of social media I cant delete is You Tube.
I used Stay Focused to block you tube.
The good thing about Your Slice app is that it can block itself. So here it as follows
- Used Stay Focused to Block You Tube
- Used Your Slice to block Stay Focused and Your Slice ( I did this to so that I can prevent myself from unblocking You Tube when my urge is bad.)
Now Your Slice will ask you to specify the time interval to use a particular app. I typed the following
Starts: 5 am
Ends : 5 am
By doing this you are blocking Your Slice permanently. I know its bit complicated but its worth the try. I was saved from many strong urges those times. The only way you can escape from this permanent block is to delete these app.
I joined one challenge in the forum, where my daily goal is not to delete those apps.
My another source of relapse was laptop. I kept it in the drawing room and promised myself no to change its position.
This is for you @Vortexkicker I know its super long. But i believe this strategy will help you.
I relapsed today. I’m sad and tired. I reached 3 days without any of it. No imaged, no porn.
And then a simple thought from the enemy in the spirit realm, suggests and pushes it upon me and I give in.
Woke up at 6 am relapsed for a whole hour 7am to 8am. Watched P, and desired to M, and you know how it ends.
3 days again. Ok. I want to make it to 4 and then more. I am less than 24 hours from getting to that 4th day.
Wish me luck
Just couldn’t last. 3 days seems to be my trouble time. I can’t seem to reach 4 days with Masterbation.
It’s like once 3 days hits, I fall apart.
I need a recommendation from anyone.
I woke up today with feelings of desperation, loneliness, neediness, and sadness.
I dont know how to fix this.
I suggest you to start a habit challenge here. By building new habits, maybe you may feel motivated everyday. And exercise and meditation is the best destroyers of negative emotions.