Day 7 checking in
The urge came but it was less intense than before, I can feel i am gaining control.
I am feeling good this weekend and can’t wait for next week.
But I am doing everything I can today not tommorow or later!
Fuck that I’ll do it tomorrow bullshit attitude i had for years. Today or right now I won’t run anymore.
From now on my Sundays are to clean my house fully and prepare myself clean uniform clean shoes, nicely shaven.
I even bought a cologne bottle from a girl that sells them.(hahahha I am simply laughing at the changes that are coming simply by having quit that virtual shit for just a few days.)
I have prepared my diet chores and tasks for the remaining 100 days:
My day will start at 4.30 Am
My tasks and schedules for self discipline are in my my note book i keep on the desk near my bed.
Gita will be daily part of it.
I lament wasting time watching those bulshit tv serials that lied to me but now that I have read the book of god 5000 year ago spoken by him. older than all other books.
I know the truth It’s sri Krishna the supreme person.
I lament I did not read it sooner.
The armies are gathered on the battlefield.
My discipline in the state of Goodness and willpower, cleanliness and order and my Resolve overall:
Are my allies, my Gandiva bow and weapons and warriors.
My foe is the urge to watch ■■■■, sitting idle watching YouTube video’s or sitting idle in general infront of a damn screen. and addiction to excessive pleasure. tamasic idleness and rajasic driven by emotions actions.
Its my foe for its weaker than me like snakes are weaker than Garudaji.
Its just inanimate objects fake virtual images of fake people on the internet.
they have no power over me it cannot force me to search or watch them. nor can my mind command me to watch ■■■■ at night or any time of the day. the negative words of others also do not have power over me for the lord is with me, i am powerful.
Before this 7 days like coward I ran and gave in before, offering weak or no resistance when the urge came before I ran like Pathetic Coward Instead of standing and pushing back!
But not anymore Yuddhe!
I fight back i am stronger than my mind and emotions of like and dislike.
I am confident after this 7 days that the lord’s name is powerful.
simply praising and thinking of you and striving o lord Krishna has helped me control this 7 days.
My feels fresher cleaner from the bullshit.
I seriously feel stronger and more determined.
I think keeping my mind in praising lord Krishna and elevated thoughts on Krishna are keeping me in a positive mental state of goodness.
This is not about a streak, its about removing the addiction forever from my mind.Its about free will and power over myself.
I choose not to give in to that virtual shit on a screen anymore.
it cannot control me, it can’t do nothing! for it is just some fake virtual images I choose i decide! what I do each day and every day.
And i choose to be a powerful man in control of myself of my actions and my time.
I know i can do it.
But still I humbly remember Sri Krishna without him nothing can be successful.
I can feel the urges are lesser than 7 days ago and my will is stronger.
The same treatment for the 93 days left.
I will just stick with energy to my sattivc discipline and resolve!
I won’t let it push me back.!
I am glad for this fight actually for now i stick more to Krishna.
I have learned a lot of god in this days.
Even if I somehow relaps i will have no regrets and start again for i have never been so far so clear mind and attitude.
I can clearly seen how i am growing and making daily progress little by little i am doing and attempting new things like never before.
I focus on the action on the duty on doing my my very best overall. like you say in your book Lord Krishna.
93 days of aggressive forward fire.
93 days of discipline of pure hardened will are coming.
I will conquer my actions i will conquer my self fully.
Talking about not postponing, I am going to dispose of old clothing papers and everything i have been hoarding and not used in a while or are broken right now.