One thing on this journey that really had a significant impact on my life is recovering from depression. Even though I haven’t got out of PMO yet still I’m happy that my suicidal tendencies are gone! And that’s all in all I’ve been able to achieve till now and that’s really great. Looking at life through a wider lense, diving deeper while feeling the surface, it’s simple yet wonderful.
Now I’m not as lost as I was before, I’ve some goals, some dreams, and some fantasies too. I’m exploring new things and developing more interests in which I’ve seen progress, slow but still progress. Things do get better over time. But whatever I’m still enjoying my life more than I ever did before.
Though I’m not focusing much on PMO these days, even relaping daily but it’s okay, I have tried hard before and it didn’t work out as well so now I’m following a slow and gradual transition. And it is actually working, mind’s less prevented and attractions to lust is also coming down. Main point is to just stay happy and satisfied.
I will admit, NF has definitely helped me with that as well! Even if you are relapsing a lot, it’s the journey that matters, not the destination.
Best of luck to you. In the same boat here
We all will get through eventually
Patience, Perseverance, Dedication
Slow and Steady win the race
In reality it’s not about velocity, Perseverance was the real reason why the turtle won. Rabbit would have easily won if he didn’t rest. Slow and steady is fine but perseverance should not be overlooked.
It’s around 5 in the morning, I woke up at 4 because I had been vaccinated earlier for covid so had a mild fever and chills, took medicine and then it went away in few minutes, can’t sleep though.
When I was at the vaccination center yesterday there were also a few girls, although I didn’t had any negative thoughts involving them but some girls were staring at me so I had thoughts that they might be interested in me overall I had a pretty good self control unlike in past where whenever I saw a girl I only had sexual thoughts. Mind is alot clearer these days in terms of many things be it social, personal, love, career, etc. Feeling great overall
True love is ubiquitous if seen in every form
Yeah bro, I don’t consume that much, I just read that topic as it appeared otherwise I don’t intentionally search for it.
nd about vlogging I’m glad you still remember that well I abandoned that channel. But I haven’t abandoned vlogging, once my life becomes more interesting I’ll definitely get back to it in a new format.
Wow, thanks bro. I just relapsed after 13 days yesterday and not yet stuck in the ‘strucker effect’
like before. This inspired me.
Ups and Downs are a major “PART” of life. If you’re feeling great one day, the other day you might not. You have to recognise those and deal with it as the situation demands. Stop overthinking, stop procastinating, just stop it.
I’m gonna share my deep thoughts in this diary for whoever might be interested, first one of those below.
Vicky’s Thought #1
Breakdown of Success
Successful people are hardworking, passionate, and always have an aim towards serving the people.
But I don’t think that’s the recipe of success, I’ll tell you why. Success is the end result of hardwork, and good intentions. Success is the trophy you win after countless hours of practice, dedication, perseverance, which are just few factors of the preparatory stage after which you come face to face with other people who have gone through it all and they also might have an edge over you. In this stage you make an effort to survive among people who are far better than you. If you make it through, you’ll face the real fight for glory and if you win after all that you’ve gone through the end result you will achieve is “Success”.
So you see the ultimate success is very very very hard to achieve, so how can one average person like you can even think of achieving it? Leave alone the thought of fighting back, Can you even bear the heat?
Yes you can, there is a way. And only one way. And that is to choose the right path for you.
Let me simplify, you are well aware that you’ve to work hard so choose the work you enjoy while you grind at it. If you work hard on something you may not enjoy as much then eventually you’ll not be able to give your best and somebody else who enjoys it will throw you out of the league. So choose your work wisely. And nothing is impossible, remember that.
Be prepared for grinding your ass off. And don’t be in the illusion that this grind will only last for a limited period of time and after that it’s all shiny shiny, No. The grind continues throughout your life, success will the the end result after each grinding and putting together everything you’ve achieved in each session and then the process continues again. So you see, continues success will require continues grind and alot of other factors and to be able to do that everytime you have to be in love with it otherwise it’s impossible. The success will fade away.
You need to have a interest for giving something to the society, remember what you give is what you get. Amazon was made to make shopping more convenient, Facebook was developed as a medium of connecting people virtually. They didn’t start as super hot business ideas bit their intention to serve the people made them what they are today. So serving the society should be the first priority.
To visualise the above three points I’ll pich an example of a sportsperson. A sportsperson loves to play and is passionate about a particular sport since an early age. They love improving their skills to be sble to perform better at game. And improving skills takes a lot of grinding so if they were not passionate about it will they bother to put so much efforts into it?
They’re motivated throughout the preping stages not by the aim of winning but by the thought that they’ll be able to play better and up their game to a new level. It only comes from their love of sports.
But that makes them successful? Not yet. Now they are at the stage where they can entertain other people with their game, people love sports and seeing sportsperson playing at such a godly level encourages them to idealize these players. This is where ultimate success is achieved. And the process has to be continued in order for the success to stay relevant. Now you can connect these points with the people you ideolize to know how much truth they hold. Everything is Possible
Day - 0
I relapsed yesterday in the night was alone in my room. Didn’t watched p**n though, only M. I think I’ve managed to get my frequency from once a day to once a week. No urges to watch p*n, and only cause of masturbation is edging everytime. So now I’ll consider edging as relapse.
Disabled whatsapp, I don’t use any other social media platforms already so that’s out of the way.
Unsubscribed all the channels on yt now I’ll only open it for study purposes.
Next step is to develop a strategy.
It was so random I think of it, but Omegle is full of content if someone is bored enough
Yeah, that site can definitely be messed up. That’s why I never go there. You never know what you’re going to get.