Venky's Confession

My longest streak (7 days) ever was in 2015 when I prayed to God for recovery of my beloved grandfather. After that there is no day I didn’t fap (mostly twice a day). Now I am facing the effects of po*n so much than ever.

  • Memory loss (Tell me a name amidst a discussion, I’ll forget it in seconds. Tell me a sentence with more than 7 words, I cannot repeat it again)

  • Weak hair (During my college days my friends used to say that I got thick hair and cannot become bald in my lifetime. But I am losing my thick hair and my hair is alredy turning white @ just 23 years age)

  • No eye contact (I hardly remember a new person or woman with whom I talked looking straight into their eyes, except close friends and family)

*Trembling hands (Trust me, I feel my hands shiver while eating with spoons or forks)

*Autopilot (Once I enter my room, I waste 4 to 5 hours on one go watching porn, until I find best video to fap on). That means I waste 120 hours a month. With this time I can do 15 hours of exercise, 30 hours of phoning friends and relatives, 5 hours of washing/cleaning my surroundings, 45 hours of book reading (equals 6 to 8 books per months) and can still get 25 hours of extra sleep

Embarrassment (With god’s grace I am working for a good organization, but where ever I go people are asking whether I am married, children around call me uncle, elders tease me about my white hair and short fatty body and all this is happening at just 23 years age). I feel like I am living someone else’s life by buring myself in pon.

*No focus or concentration (I am facing this problem for the last few days. My mind is drifting away in thoughts and stays in that state for very long. I am unable to make it focus, because there is no instant reward for my brain)

After lot of struggle I am making myself aware by writing journal and by confessing here.

I heard that it takes 18 months to recover from the effects of porn after quitting it. It is around 540 days. I cannot take such a huge challenge suddenly. I am planning for a 7 day streak (This I already did once).

I am currently reading “Your Brain On Porn”, “Treating pornography addiction” books*. Like this, please suggest me any good techniques or books to me quit porn.

  • I am neither related to the authors nor advertising for them. My intention is to spread the good.

Please upv*te and save my innocent life from the demon. I want to be one among you for staying motivated. Please motivate me by following me my friends, so that we can achieve what I alone cannot achieve.

So sorry bro for all thats happened to you… You can totally build yourself back up bro,physically as well as mentally… keep fighting the good fight… Fuck porn and fuck masturbation. :v:

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For the last 3 days I am reading the posts and some books

This forum helping me very much

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