Venky's Confession

My longest streak (7 days) ever was in 2015 when I prayed to God for recovery of my beloved grandfather. After that there is no day I didn’t fap (mostly twice a day). Now I am facing the effects of po*n so much than ever.

  • Memory loss (Tell me a name amidst a discussion, I’ll forget it in seconds. Tell me a sentence with more than 7 words, I cannot repeat it again)

  • Weak hair (During my college days my friends used to say that I got thick hair and cannot become bald in my lifetime. But I am losing my thick hair and my hair is alredy turning white @ just 23 years age)

  • No eye contact (I hardly remember a new person or woman with whom I talked looking straight into their eyes, except close friends and family)

*Trembling hands (Trust me, I feel my hands shiver while eating with spoons or forks)

*Autopilot (Once I enter my room, I waste 4 to 5 hours on one go watching porn, until I find best video to fap on). That means I waste 120 hours a month. With this time I can do 15 hours of exercise, 30 hours of phoning friends and relatives, 5 hours of washing/cleaning my surroundings, 45 hours of book reading (equals 6 to 8 books per months) and can still get 25 hours of extra sleep

Embarrassment (With god’s grace I am working for a good organization, but where ever I go people are asking whether I am married, children around call me uncle, elders tease me about my white hair and short fatty body and all this is happening at just 23 years age). I feel like I am living someone else’s life by buring myself in pon.

*No focus or concentration (I am facing this problem for the last few days. My mind is drifting away in thoughts and stays in that state for very long. I am unable to make it focus, because there is no instant reward for my brain)

After lot of struggle I am making myself aware by writing journal and by confessing here.

I heard that it takes 18 months to recover from the effects of porn after quitting it. It is around 540 days. I cannot take such a huge challenge suddenly. I am planning for a 7 day streak (This I already did once).

I am currently reading “Your Brain On Porn”, “Treating pornography addiction” books*. Like this, please suggest me any good techniques or books to me quit porn.

  • I am neither related to the authors nor advertising for them. My intention is to spread the good.

Please upv*te and save my innocent life from the demon. I want to be one among you for staying motivated. Please motivate me by following me my friends, so that we can achieve what I alone cannot achieve.

For the last 3 days I am reading the posts and some books

This forum helping me very much

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