Unable to stop the urges

I feel depressed and sad. The urges lasted all day long.

How come they keep coming?

How do I defeat them?

I feel regret and I am always desiring lustful images.

I know I need to be patient, but patience is too hard as well as this addiction.

I’m giving up now.


No !!!
Don’t give up bro
Believe in yourself
You can do it
Have the courage to say no to pornography!
Don’t let that thing control your life
You are more powerful than you think!


I feel the same and I eventually lasted 15 days no-fap. It’s all in the mind, once you go more and more on no-fap. You will develop freedom from it. However take those urges as a way to get stronger.

Feel the urge get the urge our mistakes makes us fail but gets us better.

Do this: if you can’t control them. No-fap for the first day and fap for the 2nd. And then see how far can you go. No-fap on the 1 and 2 day fap on the 3 day.

Use the stragety of how far can you go. You will see how you change completely. And if nothing works use a quote to help you stay. I was sad and depressive just like you thinking about girls and will this ever end. I failed NNN but got to 15 days getting over my max days. So if I did you can also do it. And forget those po** and keep on trying


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Our mind knows that we are not fapping so it will send messages to our subconcious and give us a hard time.

I saw a guy who haven’t fapped for 2 years. Well that man is somehow sad, but when you look around he is loved by many and eventually his life is good.

It’s all in our mind. Want to forget it, listen to music do pushups use this app when the urges get here and meditate.

That’s why many don’t fail. Cause they meditate.

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I keep relapsing between day 2 and day 4.

I’m only way to 3 years of this fapping.


The mind is playing games on you, just like it is for us. Your not alone, but you choose what is best for you.

If you want to be longer than that, stop thinking about it. When the urges strike. Do something productive, something that can help you with it.
Most importantly stop thinking of it, and when you do. Do activities or use this program for it’s help. It’s been 3 years right. Well for me I couldn’t get over fap for 1 of 2 years, and now I am fighting to stop it.

Our body makes changes to the better, but only if we endure those urges. Benefits will get to your way when fighting on it long enough.

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By giving up what benifits are you getting tell me?

We all have our fights bro, no one can miracualously tell you the best way to defeat urges…
Discipline is the key ,
Don’t try to fight your feeling brain with your thinking brain.

Its all up to the individual.



Hey bro
What’s your current streak?

3 Guardrails That Will Change Your Life

Everyone who pursues purity and freedom in their life has likely exercised healthy boundaries—or guardrails—in one way or another. Guardrails on our journey of integrity are exactly what they suggest: self-protection measures we intentionally put in place in order to protect ourselves from another crash or relapse. Rather than stumbling blindly into the same, predictable pattern, we bump into a guardrail that reminds us—or forces us—to get back on course and stay on the road to health.

I have been following guardrails in my pursuit of purity for as long as I can remember. For over 15 years, however, these guardrails really didn’t help me. I had measures in place to help me avoid pornography, yet I would routinely breeze past these boundaries that were meant to help me. Over the last nine years, as I have walked in new freedom, I have also had guardrails in place. Having guardrails wasn’t the difference maker. I have had guardrails and struggled, but I have also had guardrails and found victory.

Having the RIGHT guardrails in place

Before I walk through three life-changing guardrails, let me mention a couple reasons why my past guardrails were ineffective at helping me live a transformed life.

For starters, too many of my boundaries were simply about avoidance. Without any clear idea of what my habits and patterns were, my try-harder approach was to avoid seeing anything bad. Block inappropriate websites. Block bad TV channels. Avoid R-rated movies.

While this was helpful at times, inevitably something would get through the block. Or I would find myself in an attitude where I was ready to give up and give in, and the blocks would only fuel my competitiveness to try and see if I could “beat” them. In these instances and so many more, simple avoidance wasn’t enough.

A second reason why my past guardrails didn’t usually work was that I was the only one who knew what they were! Because my sin was secretive, so was my recovery. I would stumble down the same predictable path and then determine—in my own heart—to never let it happen again. I would mentally come up with a list. At times, I even wrote down all the things I would change. Quite frankly, usually this list was unrealistic and overly optimistic. As time would pass—and the pain of my regret would fade—so would the guardrails. Overconfidence would lead me down the path of regret yet again.

A final reason my past guardrails often failed is they were too narrow. My desire was to avoid looking at pornography ever again, and so I had guardrails in place like, “No visiting adult websites” or “No image-searching for models.” These certainly are good things to avoid, but what I failed to recognize was the huge gap that exists between “being healthy” and “looking at porn.”

We don’t plunge from a plateau of joy, relationships, and faith straight into the pit of hell. We slide this way through a multitude of small, foolish decisions.

I had guardrails in place for the cliff, but I knew a thousand trails that wound lead me—step by step—back into the valley of death. I hardly admitted these paths existed, let alone having the wisdom to guard against them!

Perhaps you find yourself in some of these less-than-effective approaches. If you can, you won’t be helped very much by shaming or beating yourself up mentally for the ways you have failed. Instead, I invite you to learn with me a better way.

Guardrails can be so life-giving! If you think about it, even in His perfect creation, God had guardrails. Adam and Even knew limits even in paradise. They needed relationship, they worked, they had foods they could eat and foods they could not eat. They couldn’t fly, walk through walls, or be in two places at once (as far as we know) even when they were absolutely unstained by sin.

So if God created a world where guardrails were needed in perfection, how much more can we apply some wise boundaries in our pursuit of purity? Here are three life-changing guardrails that keep me secure to this day.

1. Guardrails that have nothing to do with lust, pornography, or any unwanted sexual behavior.

The best guardrails I have don’t address my past addiction at all. They address all the patterns that were part of my behaviors.

If we use our cliff illustration, guardrails around lust, pornography, or sex are like waiting until we are teetering on the very edge of the cliff—small pebbles are tumbling into the chasm below us—and then looking for a handrail. At this point in the process, a guardrail may be too late, no matter how well-intended it is.

My very best guardrails are around behaviors like procrastination, wasting time online, and channel surfing. Why? Because, for me, all of these are part of my past patterns of relapse.

In order to have healthy guardrails, we need to have a deep, honest awareness of our patterns. This awareness might come from filling out a weekly FASTER Scale, walking through the Matrix of Addiction (found in Seven Pillars of Freedom, Pillar 4, Lesson 2), or writing up a Crash Site Analysis after a relapse.

All of these tools are available through Pure Desire and can lead to an awareness of our pattern. After all, which is easier? To stop a freight train running at 50 miles an hour or to redirect a train when it first starts moving?

When we construct guardrails early in our pattern, we can redirect a negative thought process before it picks up any more steam.

2. Guardrails that are immovable.

In order for a guardrail to be effective, it needs to work when we feel like following it and when we don’t. The challenge for most of us is that we are effective at keeping our boundaries 90-95 percent of the time. This is great! What trips us up is that 5 percent of the time when we just don’t have it in us.

Maybe we are lacking sleep. Maybe we had a big fight with our spouse. Maybe the boss is threatening layoffs. Whatever the case, sooner or later we ALL find ourselves in a mood where we don’t care about our integrity like we normally do. In these times, we need to have boundaries that cannot easily be moved.

For example, I went five years without a smartphone. Do you know how many times in those years I relapsed because of my phone?

Zero. Nada. Perfection.

Why? As you can see, I simply had no option.

If you have discovered a pattern in your life that seems unavoidable—despite your best efforts, you keep going down that same path toward relapse—you need to create an immovable guardrail.

Are you struggling with one night stands? Stop going on dates.

Are you battling with the TV late at night? Drop cable completely.

Is Instagram your downfall? Get off Instagram AND delete your account.

If you don’t have it—and can’t access it—you won’t struggle in this area. These changes won’t necessarily be permanent, but for a season you may need to get ruthless and cut some things out of your life.

3. Guardrails that are positive and holistic.

Have you ever noticed that as human beings we seem to rebel at the word “no?” Something inside of us recoils at “no” and gravitates toward “yes.” Just say these two words out loud. What do you feel?

One danger of guardrails is that they all become a giant “no” stamped on our life. Feels fun, right? This is why we need holistic guardrails to help us know where the “yes” is in our life.

What CAN you do that increases your sense of joy, health, and well-being? (If you’re familiar with The Three Circles tool of recovery, this is essentially your outer circle.) Guardrails not only protect us from bad places, they also redirect us toward good places! These positive guardrails also need to be holistic.

Your life—and your struggle—is about more than just sex. You are a complex, multi-faceted being and all aspects of your life contribute to your freedom or to unhealth.

So what guardrails could you create around your physical life? Getting 7-8 hours of sleep, limiting sugar to one treat a day, or exercising four times a week are all examples of positive, holistic guardrails.

What steps could you take to implement guardrails in relationships? Dating your spouse each week, having weekly coffee with friends, or choosing to forgive so-and-so and not hold on to any bitterness could work here.

What guardrails do you need to have in place for emotional health? How about a weekly Sabbath day, a good book you are reading, or taking time to see a counselor?

Seeing just as many “yes,” positive guardrails can keep your brain—and your heart—moving toward health rather than shuddering in frustration every time you think of your list.

And one BONUS Guardrail!

Don’t Listen to Curiosity.

Curiosity, you may say? What does curiosity have to do with it?

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve listened to someone describe a relapse that began with the words, “I was just curious…” “I was just curious what that article could be about. I was just curious to see who she was. I was just curious to know if I could do _________________.”

Part of maturing is to recognize that curiosity is often a smoke-screen. Little kids are curious. Adults already know. You might not “know” exactly what an article will say, but you can pretty well predict it, can’t you?

I would encourage you to make a personal guardrail that says, “If I ever hear myself saying, ‘I’m just curious,’ I will not do this thing unless I first talk to my spouse or group about the wisdom of this choice.” I believe this simple guardrail might cut out half of the relapses I hear.

Whatever your personal guardrails are, I pray that they will be life-giving for you. At the end of the day, the most important question we need to ask ourselves is quite simply, “Are they working?” Are the guardrails you have keeping you on the road to recovery and helping you regularly avoid relapse? If so, keep going! Forward! If not, I hope you will be able to apply some principles from this blog and discover new guardrails that work for you.

Journey on.


You can never stop URges… It will always come till your last breath. We can practice to stop responding to it and thats the only thing we can do. START TRAINING TO LIVE WITH THE ENEMY AND SOMETIMES IF ITS CONTROLLING YOU PROMISE YOURSELF THE NEXT TIME WE BECOME THE PLAYER AND CONTROLLER TILL IT BECOME AN UNCONSCIIUS HABIT.


Day 14 completed Alhamdulillah

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For me
Day 5 completed alhamdulillah
Keep going bro​:fire::fire::clap::muscle:

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Im happy to know. :grinning::fire::100:
Just live one day at a time and quality days will be added to your streak. :fire:

Keep going bro👍.

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Right now my streak is 1 day.

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Before February 2020, I never had urges because I never masterbated before and up till that time, I didn’t know what masterbation was.

Brother i came to know about this addiction after 10yrs of being addicted. My age is 28 now. It is difficult to quit since the pattern and conditioning of my brain is far deeper than i expected. My failure at times shows the loops of breakage of discipline that i am trying to build. But the guys who succeded on this journey have only one thing in common THEY NEVER GAVE UP. I hope this will help you.

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Keep going bro
No matter how many times you will relapse

Guys, Im 32 in age.

I am at a streak of 1 day 14 hours.

My life has been a very lonely one.

My Dad made most of the decisions for my life and I wasn’t aloud to make my own decisions.

He has acted like a Codependent parent. A Codependent parent is a parent who hangs on to their son or daughter for unnecessary help. The parent can do things on their own but act like they cannot do anything and the son or daughter has to do it all. Very annoying!

Because of him, I didn’t have my first official job until the age of 27.

I have a college degree and still 42,900 to pay back. It was 52,700 when I started.

He literally called me at work yesterday for absolutely no reason at all. He called me just for the purpose of calling me.

My Mom is here too and the relationship my parents have is always negative. Nothing positive between them.

I have always been in the middle of their arguments and seek separation from them. I want my own girlfriend, but no woman is ever single. I tried online dating but all I got were scammers asking for gift cards. It was to “prove” that I care. I said no many times.

When COVID hit, my loneliness increased 1000 fold. And masterbation and porn became my substitute to the girlfriend I desire but never have.

I got the vaccine and ended up working for a place 1 hour drive away to work a 10 hour shift. So Im away from home for 12 hours a day, 4 days a week.

Every weekend I’m with my parents and I relapse more on days I spend with them then on days I work.

I’m ending the story here. This is my current status:

Loneliness, lack of a girlfriend, Codependent father, annoying mother, a job, college debt, and PMO addiction. I want a different life.


Hey guys, I just Relapsed.

I took a screen shot of my November relapses.

There is definitely a pattern.