Trying to stop - identified a trigger

I’ve identified a trigger of mine a while ago, and I figured I’d put it out in writing rather than acting on it during this urge I have.
So for some reason being alone, or having alone time, or just not having my s/o in the house hits me with urges. And it honestly seems like over the last 20 years this has just become a ritual. I can not be in any mood and just merely being alone can trigger me. But tonight I’m not going to let it. I’m going to put it into writing here, let it go into the universe, and hopefully this ritual urge disappears.
I feel like if I were to explore why this is, it might help me put an end to this trigger, but I can’t think of why it exists.