Trying Again( NEW DIARY...AGAIN)

After long time i am again trying to quit this pmo addiction. I didnt realized before how serious this addiction has become and how much my life is affected by it. year by year before i realized i have been addicted for more than ten years. My life is literally messed up right now. i have been aimless for these last 4,5 years. Always staying in own comfort zone. never taking any challenge nor having any goals. i am realizing slowly what pathetic human being i have become…so, i am trying again, no…ill try again and again until i am free from this addiction. i am tired of living my life pathetically. i am tired of being nobody. i am tired of having no goals,no relationships. i am tired of being coward, tired just tired of what this addiction has turn me into. a coward,weak,pathetic excuse of human being. i am tired ofbsinning against God, abusing my body for those fake pleasure. yeah, i may fall but i wont give up. i cant, it the only one life i get i want to live it to the best i can. For my family’s sake and for my own sake.


From now on i will try to be consistent here…i will try to update at least one time a week

3 years on this app, and never even crossed 1month streak

Day 3

Badly relapsed 3 days ago. Still feel weak and sleepy all the time. hope it gets better

Week 1

After so many failures and such long time, i am reaching 1 week of no pmo. i think i feel a lot calm and relaxed. The urges come at random times, but i try to avoid as much as i can. I try to remind myself that it takes just one trigger to lose all the progress.I am also trying to build healthy habbits.


Week 2 day idk

After 6 years i met two old friends from high school today. We spent the day just casually chilling and visiting some places. Man, how the time flies. It seemed just like yesterday when we were high schoolers now we became adults and just meeting them brought me so much nostalgia and happines. After, these so many years i am finally cherishing my friends which was just unthinkable for me just 2 weeks ago.i am having rollercoaster of emotions today. I am really grateful that i have such caring friends. From now on i will cherish their friendships more.

When i was in high school i would only talk with few, at that time i was quite introverted(i still am) at that time the friend i met today was the first one to talk to me, we became buddies real fast but after high school i basically became loner again. Deleted all contacts, dropped out college and drowned myself in pmo which made my so miserable that i cannot imagine now. Now, i see finally how much pmo affects your life. It literally will control your life, i am not kidding. Do everything you can to quit ruins lives.

I feel really happy today, no lie. Also, the music idk how but i am really feeling it…i just cried over some songs…i am feeling emotions again…i feel a lot normal these days like i feel like a human being not a mindless zombie.

That being said, the urges still come at random times…i havent even peeked at any of those material since, i started and will continue to do so.


Week idk day idk

So, i stopped counting my streak, i dont know which week i am in right now. As for my recovery i dont feel depressed like i used to in the past. Also, dont know why i’ve been feeling kindof emotionless these past few days. i literally dont feel any emotions right now. Hopefully, it will get better.
Also, these few weeks have kinda hard for me. I lost two job oppurtunities, and many things didnt go as planned but somehow i dont even think of pmo anymore. In the past i would pmo whether i was feeling happy, sad, lonely…just any emotion. I know its too early, but i feel like i am making some progress even if i havent done anything. Also, social anxiety has decreased a bit ,i think.

I still have to be careful of urges. They come at random times but i somehow managed to ignore them. I really wanna be free from pmo. I always try to remind myself not to let my guard down

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Day 1

Was on week 4, first two weeks there anxiey fear panic stress was very low, but during week 4 stress, anxiety,panic started building up again. had just started a night shift job but quit cause i couldnt handle the stress. the very next day i relapsed and since after that relapsing till yesterday. i am again in that very toxic pmo cycle i thought i had under control. you never know when the circumstances changes but it all depends on how you react to it. i didnt had any way to combat those stress,anxiety, so, in the end i relapsed.

Week 1

Feeling depressed about everything…i just feel empty

Keep your head up man, the feelingnis mutual, lets rise again

I try to , but feels like i am only dragging myself. Sometimes it feels to much, and i feel like ending everything because i am only hurting myself and others around me.

You have to do it for those ones arround you, you have to win this battle for them, you were born a free man from PMO, and you wont die a slave of PMO, you can do this man

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Its not just pmo man, i have dragged myself in this mess of a life that i dont know how to get out. I dont see any way…