Hello guys
Nothing I do in my life is complete, nothing i tell is complete and fully true, Something happened with me at age 13 , it showed me many things, mostly I consider bad and still didnt accept my self for it. And its one of the main reason for many essues. So of every story, every work/action, I hide anything that can imply to what happened there. I feel like I’m lying to people If i tell anything, cause I never share that part of the truth, simply because I didn’t accept my self for it.
What do you think about,true strength is when you allow yourself be vunerable , should I tell people, and after 8 years ,its one big lie, people might hate me for it, as i do hate myself for it.
I feel bad everytime I have to act not like myself to hide it, everytime I have to lie, so people dont connect dots about some period of my life. Should I allow my self to be vulnerable, will that set me free.
I’m sorry there is no clear Idea here, cause as i said, I’m not intrested on telling the world
It’s okay that you didn’t tell it yet, surely there is a time that you’ll be ready and I guess it can be soon or take a little longer. I would recommend you try to share it with someone you trust and think about listen what response you’re going to receive, you might be hard on yourself as we know that happens sometimes. For everything there’s a time under the sun and throw your burden on Him, the remaining I think you’ll understand… I hope it makes some sense.
I feel your words.
It’s easy to understand whether you should tell or not. If it something that will hurt the person you tell, he may not forgive you. That happens a lot. But it’s ok if people don’t forgive you. A lot of people who won’t forgive you are the ones that value you. Not forgiving does not mean not loving or not caring. It means that you made a mistake and if you repeat that will be a mistake even after.
It may be hard to tell. First time you tell you may experience mental discomfort. Only strong people can tell the truth. And only the people who understand your mistake will be your true friends.
You may tell or you may not. It’s up to you. But it’s the truth that brings the connection.
Open up about your pains to a true friend bro. That is the most important way to get out of this guilt or insecurities that you are feeling because of it. Take about it to a close friend or at first talk about it to some companions here. Then you must talk openly about it to a real friend whom you can trust. Tell everything and cry if you want. After you finish talking you’ll feel like you got out of a jail. Your burden will be reduced to half. Trust me, i have done that. I had a sexual experience when i was 4 or 5 and that was the greatest pain of my life but after talking about it openly to my friend my pain reduced to half. So please do talk about it to a truthful friend of yours.
Society has a lot to say about being vulnerable, and my opinion is not the norm, but here are my thoughts.
vul·ner·a·ble
/ˈvəln(ə)rəb(ə)l/
adjective
susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
“we were in a vulnerable position”
undefended
(of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.
So, no, true strength is not being vulnerable.
True strength is when you are honest, the real you is exposed to the world, you don’t hide behind any lies, and yet you are not hurt by the exposure.
Of course, having true strength is no easy feat. It may take years, even decades to reach that. So don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve noticed that a common thing among addicts is self-hate or self disgust.
I completely agree with this advice. In my experience a religious leader is a good place to start. Perhaps a trusted teacher or coach would be good too.
I feel your pain. The situation you described really hit home for me. You can do this! I have seen through my own experience that I am happier with myself and tell the truth and act truthfully more when I abstain from PMO.
I think it is a bad idea to search for occasions where you can tell someone all your weaknesses. For example with the internet addiction or with things that happened in my past. I don’t look for opportunities to tell them to everyone. But, if the topic comes up, I would not hide it. It is a part of my life and I don’t know why I should deny this part. Denying it means denying yourself which will break you in the long run.
That said, I have different friends who know different things about me. With some I’ve talked about depression, with my gf I have talked about porn/internet addiction, with others I have talked about religious encounters. This is, because I trusted them to handle the information in a good way and, very important, can assist me with it. There is usually no use in just telling things so that they are told. For example, it doesn’t make sense to talk about my depression with a person which never had any kinds of problems with that. It would be really difficult for him to understand and wouldn’t help your relationship
@JonSnow001 , I would say half the truth about something, and keep part to my self, the topic never really came up, since the answer in my case (its personal) will obviosly reveal the true answer, I do my best to keep anything that might get them to ask/think about it. I do tell the half truth,
I’m christain as well (from Nazareth :)), thats why I feel like lying when the topic didnt directly come, but I wieght my words, choose wisly ,so they dont realize the thing i wanna keep personal.
It’s sort of lying, but on the other hand, its personal , and i dont have time to fight the world, and it didnt harm anyone, maybe just me at some point.