Checking for today. I realised I have been living a fake life. Almost anything I have ever done was by force or because someone told me to. And my psyche is built in the way that I’m prone to following orders without questioning.
Since I understood this, I found many things that I liked no more interesting, because I started questioning myself whether the things I do are my own things or someone else’s. Also, I started questioning whether my own thoughts are my own or someone else’s.
The interesting thing is that I had a spontaneous erection an hour ago, although my methodical fapping in the last year and half or so.
The true healing process has begun.
Knowing that I have been fulfilling other people’s desires and centralising my whole life around this is not very nice. I feel like I was broken since kindergarden.
I’m not responsible for the way I was raised, but I’m responsible for the way I will change this.
And also, I forgive myself for the many stupid things I have done. And for the many stupid things people have done to me. Almost. I was bullied at school for being silent, sensitive and shy. Kids back then were dealing with their own bullshit as well. As for well as my parents and important figures.
It’s good to be at least a little bit educated in psychology. I’m not even close to being a psychologist, but I can say I’m relatively aware about what’s was going inside my head for the last 20 and more years and why I have been feeling lonely and depressed.
It’s not that hard to do it. But it requires extreme trust in self and turning prejudices off.
And finally, I feel stronger.
10 February check-in
New changes in plans and it will certainly help me more
FEBRUARY 9, 2024.
Another day of work completed; another day of life that God has given me. I just have to thank God for everything he has done. I believe that Christ Jesus has already freed me from this addiction. Trust in the Lord; It is true peace and wisdom.
¹ Those who trust in the LORD will be like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but remains forever.
² As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people from now on and forever.
day 137 check-in
How’s it going, bros? Whatever you’re going through, keep fighting for your freedom. Believe in yourself when no one else will.
I’m so glad to be in this current state in my NoPMO journey, but for other reasons than NoPMO this is the loneliest I have ever felt in my life. My worst fear is that I could never connect with anyone on a deep, emotional level. My greatest wish right now is to be cared for and to care for someone deeply.
The past few years of becoming an adult, the number of my close relations has become less and less. I feel out of place everywhere ago and feels like everybody else gets along with each other so well except me, as if I’m from another planet.
The feeling of being different isn’t great at all, but I’m not going to let it cause me to act out and revert to PMO. I’ll hold on. Let’s all hold on whatever is happening in our lives.
11 February check-in
My plans are going well
And i am busy now since the collge started
I am happy that i got more busy to think about pmo
FEBRUARY 10, 2024.
Tough week of work is ahead. A lot of struggle, but let’s go up; God help me. I need to organize my routine. Lately, my life has been limited to sleeping and going to work. Okay, but I’m going to change that soon.
“My strength comes from God.
If I didn’t know God,
would not know strength,
nor would I have Faith.
He is the strength that keeps me
Man, that’s just the average issue of an adult. People become so busy with their own shit that rarely anyone cares.
Because of this I have a feeling I have lost a part of me which yearned for deep connections with people.
12 February check-in
But still can be better than this
FEBRUARY 11, 2024.
Tough day at work, but I managed to stay on my feet and made it through another day. Arriving home, the enormous desire to consume PMO was unbearable; It seemed impossible for me to stand. However, I said a small prayer asking the Father for help, my Lord Jesus Christ. He gave me grace and strength, and I’m standing here.
“The victories over sin are all to the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Psalms 9:9 - “The Lord will also be a high refuge for the oppressed; a high refuge in times of trouble.”
He is the safe shelter.
Unfortunately, I relapsed. I will pray to the Lord to continue strengthening me.
Keep going brother
Life won’t wait until you decide to fight again
Know the reason, prevent it and keep going
Time is passing and you still addicted ?!!?!!
No one should never lose to this filthy addiction
I am cleansing1999. After buying a phone, I lost my previous account somehow. Hope you people are doing well. But I’m not. I’ve fallen in the loop of pmo again. I relapse somehow after 4/5 days. Though this time I’ve taken some preventive measures. Lets see what happens in the future.
Welcome back man! Let’s end this addiction once and for all.
You won’t relapse. That’s a doctor’s order.
Current Streak: 75 days