@andythepro65 @Binocular
Forgive me brothers my words came off completely wrong 
But I am eager to push you guys, and is always coming from a place of goodwill.
What I liked about your honesty wasnβt that you were honest with yourself (thatβs a given) but that you were outwardly honest and detailed, because I can learn from that kind of stuff and do find myself in the same situation at times.
Being on a tech device keeps temptation within reach.
Iβm skeptical of internet culture, because we have become so dependent upon it. There was a time when we had to go to the library or book shop, and times where we had to rely upon using logic - and having conversation - which is why I crudely said,
βwas the book worth it?β
Forgive me it was a bit harsh and I overlooked what book you may be looking for, but I still think it earnest and to the point.
Just imagine if the book was called something like
βHow not to relapse?β 
I hope you get my point.
Iβm seriously not having a dig at you, but the culture we are now in.
Monday 26th Dec
Day 4
Lord, Forgive my naivety in things I donβt understand.
But letβs keep stirring ourselves to dig deeper.
You are bang-on @Binocular that this isnβt a game, and Iβm extremely eager for you guys.
The night before last my dreams (night visions) were all too much, very erotic and shameful - which I delighted in yet felt the guilt and shame of at the same time.
Itβs as though the things Iβve put into my head resurfaced in my dream world and plagued me the following day, specifically in the evening before my partner came to my rescue (without her even knowing it)
I was there pleasing and adoring myself in lust, when I thought we werenβt able to chat that night, and sheβs messaging me which I didnβt realise, until I heard the murmur of my phone.
God Bless her that she is in my life and a source of goodness. Luckily last nightβs dreams were pleasant - and I returned to a lush wild and green european landscape I thought of as Romania.
My concern and worry for you guys and myself is that if we donβt take this with much seriousness weβll keep adding to that pile of images in our head.
What has been seen canβt be unseen and yesterday I felt I was in a cycle of; once I start to become clean those images surface, trigger and delight me into viewing similar images again and again, adding more bricks to that wall - that kill and stop the dreaming until I choose to resist again, and then the images resurface only to take me back into temptation.
Iβm 40 now, so the amount of images Iβve acquired are astronomical.
. Our same problem made us stronger but its now affecting us its time to let it go. And with that every soldier needs a break and recovery if not they will die in the 1st fight they get into. Isnβt that how vegeta lost battles but still recovered and stood up.
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