To those who've had breakthroughs

Hello! I just relapsed after 10 days… I’ve been at this on and off for 3 years and have had only 35 as my longest streak.
I’m having trouble being truly motivated and believing that I can change ( I’ve promised myself so many times that I will quit at this point, it is sad).
But, I don’t want this to be a pity fest. I want to learn from those who’ve experienced a similar struggle and who have broken through (say gotten to 90+) what changed if anything?
Age 21
Current streak 0
Code is wlss96


Friend, I’m floating the same boat. I relapsed after 60 days and I’ve struggled hard to get motivated again. Truth is you have all the motivation you need. You’re here right? You are fighting. Find reasons to go on. I plan on proposing to my girlfriend and I want to be clean before we get married. Ask yourself daily, why should I fight? What’s the point? I think deep down you are more motivated than you give yourself credit for. Feed that motivated you and you will see a change.


Thanks and good luck with your proposal!!
I am living in the past a lot and should be focus on what’s important and how staying away from pmo will help me with that.
I might be nore motivated you’re right. I am still here. But, I feel very two sided, part of me keeps trying this thing and part of me keeps falling for temptation. I feel disconnected/ divided inside at times…