went till day 120 in june, then relapsed because of depression and haven’t been able to cross even a week since then. what the frick is happening to me. i feel really weak rn and this thing is eating me from the inside.
I feel exactly the same
Brother, don’t fantasize too much with numbers. Day count is for tracking not for belittling or achievement. You choose to not do masturbation because of some reasons, like time it takes, Impact it has on your world view, failing to make meaningful relationship with your partner, failing to socialize, tendency of getting satisfied with self pleasure rather than achievement in real world. Think about these issues, how important they are to you.
To fap or not is in your control, only that when your brain starts believing that this is best way of happiness, that is keeps asking you for masturbation. Masturbation in itself needs to be under control, not prohibited or eliminated.
You can eliminate it in favor of something better you can give to your brain, may be success of achieving your dreams, a meaningful relation or long term relaxation. I wouldn’t recommend going for just looking at masturbation and say oh my, I am so incapable. Your brain is all powerful, right now, it is not seeing better way of self fulfillment, so it goes for smaller happiness like a drug addict.
Hey man… the way I see it is that every day that passes is like taking one step up a staircase. 120 days, you’re 120 stairs up… then a relapse doesnt mean you’re back at the bottom, it just means you went down one step. 120 relapses means you’re back at the start sure… but a few don’t mean you’re done for.