This is me trying to be worthy and create a place in Society

Introduction
1

Sharing code - x32999

Current streak - 5 days
Highest streak - 84 days
Age - 27
Gender - M
Location - GER

Hey there i ahve checked thsi forum for the past 5 days and i liked what i saw there are some people who realy support oneanother and some who try their best to succeed on their own i think i am growing fond of this community.

There is one thing that i noticed though the more intense/real/intimate the talks about PMO and how to NOFAP get the more they are about how PMO is jsut a symptom.
i am still only partially aware of what my PMO patterns are how they came to be and what keeps them going.

But my current major topic is selflove and reflection.

the end of the year comes closer and hence i wanted to create a challange for my self and maybe others would liek to join.
however i would like to avoid any spillover to the other challanges and groups.
th epurpose of this group will definetly be PMO and how to fght the urges and the success streaks we/I have. But i do not care for a daily checkin´s (there are already enoguh groups for that and i thinkit might turn out ot be a bother to keep up with to many of those) with streak numbers etc. what i want is to grow with like minded people.

i am still unaware how setting up accountabilty groups works here so i am glad about any feedback and info!

my core idea is this: every day we will commit to reflect upon our day. we will settle on some basic questions and what to post- obviosly this can and will change with the time. butt he main focus of the topics would be to first more thoroughly understand our current life styl and throgh that learn what we want in the future and how to achieve that.

To make things more tangible the general reflection/accountability period is from 1.12.21 to 31.12.21.
now you will wonder why the hell is this group created on 11.11.21

well

  • first of all i want that we get to know eachother before actually comiting to a month of sticking together and hearing what everyone has to say.
  • i would like to formulate a programm together :wink: so that we have an increased comitment and it fits our needs for the buzy december month.
  • I still have to learn all the featuers of this forum and how to set things up so they are most conveniend for all of us.

so what are my ideal companions/ accountability partners:
are you?

  • seriously commited to growth meaning:
    • willing to discuss private/intimate topics with strangers on the internet
    • willing to listen to others oppinions about your life
    • willing to check in daily to create a habit of reflection and sharing your daily life
  • empathetic or want to learn how to develop/ express empathy?
    • are you or do you want to become capable of feeling and sitting with other peoples emotions in order to support each other
    • are you interested to to take a seat and question whether you are currently on an ego trip simply trying to be right instead of beeing productive in settling a disagreement/discussion?
  • tolerant and patient
    • you will have to bare quite e view grammar and spelling mistakes… i tend to not reread my posts and the results can be gruesome…XP heads up u have been warned
    • we will likely ahve difrent opinions on stuff like religion or how to deal with emotions or daily routines etc. and that is totaly fine as long as we openly discuss the disagreements, can see the value in the others perspective even though we disagree or in worst case scenarios decide to leave a topic be
  • self-loving or on the path towards self love
    • meaning you are trying to be kind to yourself and also willing to listen to others when they point out that you are abusing yourself or that you are beeing stubborn and not seeing the wohole picture behind your behaviour
  • willing and or curious to experiment
    • i have quite a few exeercises in mind that at the first glance seem weird but might help us on our journey

If you have these qualities i would be honored if you joined me for the rest of the year in a unique reboot accountabilty group!

if you are not sure but still would like to join DM me and we can talk things out :wink: i am all for talking/writing and getting to knwo ppl.
Even though you are currently not able it does not mean that you won´t be in the future. it jsut means we are currently for this group not a perfect fir but it is highly likely if you are willing we will see eachother in the other discussions and posts and i am looking forward on how we support each other and make our lives better.

Now finally that you have read through all this you have passed the first challange :slight_smile:
i tend to type a lot… sth you also need to be able to endure or even enjoy :tongue:

after reading through this you have definetly earnd the right to know a bit about the person who writes this and demands these things from others:)
so i am sharing what i want withthe world wide web;)

  • my occupation

    • i am currently finishing my business psychology major and wrting my bachelors thesis.
    • i work part time as a research assistant to finance myself

  • my beliefs:

    • I am spiritual :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
    • i belive in source (god/ universe/ shard concsiousness etc…) and that we are here to make experiences, learn and grow to the benefit of all
    • i have spent a little time on understanding islam, christianity, judaism and budhism but neither stuck but i get their appeal and am totally fine with religious people :slight_smile:

  • me and porn

    • i have started watching porn arround the age of 12-14
    • i became arware of my addiction and started the nofap journey in 2019
    • i have had many relapses and droped my pursuits for multiple months.
    • i deal with porn currently by writng a diary, writing poetry (there is a discussion here) doing calesthetics, meditating and working a lot that keeps me ocupied

  • My issues/ weaknesses

    • i am living with and fighting against depression
      *i have a diagnosed personality disorder leading to me beeing socially insecure and requiring feedback on the apropriateness of my communication (DM for more :woozy_face:)
    • i have writing disorder and i am currently not dealing with it due to → bigger issues
    • i have quite low self-esteem in some regards ( social worth, etc.)
      and i have a habbit of compensating for it with knowledge and insecure texting to understandwhat other people are thinking of me -.-^- i am working on that and am glad about feedback
    • i can sometimes be quite arrogant when i think that i have the right answer/knwoledg-> i am also dealing with that but i would apreciate feedback and patiance :slight_smile:
    • i rely on company and beeing seen for motivation… when i feel ignored or tha ti do not matter i get depressed and i am still battling this issue but it is sth that quit eoften triggered my relapse
    • i tend to be very critical of myself and when i am not carefull that transfers to my evaluation of others → i am dealing with that but here again feedback is very welcome.
    • people are sometimes to much for me and i tend to shot of and retreat to recuperate i try to avoid it and comunicate openly but there might be an occasion where you can not reach me

  • my streangths/benefits

    • i strive to be more relflected and grow, hence i have patience and a will to understand other points of view and try learning from them
    • i know a bit about the human mind, emotions and coping
    • i know a bit about learning and planing etc…
    • i am a vegan ( i am not here to convert you do not eb afraid) but i do know a bit about nutrition and healthy eating :wink:
    • i am empathetic, feel a lot, care a lot about people how they are and what they do
    • i am quite open and strive to be authentic

this was a bit about me and my vulnerabities basically a trust advance to the commuity :wink:

What are my goals here?
as stated above i search for people who share my troubles and wnat to move on in a constructive, committed, empathic, selfloving way and creative way.

i look forward to yor questions and replies either via DM or this post :slight_smile:

best regards keep up the good fight and find yourself the rigth companions!

4 Likes
2

Perfect. You can do It! Lets go make different this time.

My highest streak was 135 days. I relapse yesterday after flatline of day 21.

My bigger difficult is flatline of day 18 - 21.

I lose benefits on this perĂ­od. What is your experience with flatline?

Lets go talk about our process.

God bless you Man!

3

hey there,
firs tof all welcome on the site i am new here aswell :slight_smile:
135 days of streak is pretty impressive congrats on that!
let us see if we can go beyond that!

sad to hear that you relapsed but it is really good that you did not fal vicitm to the chaser effect!

i do not notive much of the benefits of nofap till the 2 month or even later.
additionally i have only found one way around my flatline it actually hits me mutltiple times …
my solution are people i always get a lot of satisfaction from interaction with people and when i am in flatline i even do not want to do that but i ahve a view friends who i ahve asked to check up on me and when they do i ususally get out of flat line quite easy… if i am isolated however i am ahving a really hard time…

are you up for the group i am trying to create?

4

Wow. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say, and it’s put me in very good spirits :wink::pray:
You really stand out as a deep empathetic character.
Yes, you definitely need to reflect on self-love, as you come across as a very honorable, decent human being. And BTW being not beeing :joy:

What really struck me was about “being right” and “the ego”… At the moment I’m only on Day 3, but I feel I’ve closed that door and it seems glaringly obvious to move away from that door.
New positive ones invariably open as long as we don’t start going backwards.

It was quite a while ago I hit over 60 days (my highest) and never want to go back down - but that being said, I’m realising, like with not smoking weed anymore, it’s just not worth my time or my head, mind, and soul - it has nothing good to offer, and I didn’t keep account of the days, only that life is better without.
And I guess this might be where my ego could get the better of me, as I may try to cram this idea onto another. Even if it is the truth to being free, people have to find their own path there or to their own wellbeing.

What would happen if I suddenly fell?
I’d want to pick myself up, and would want people to meet me where I’m at with my life circumstances that might have been my cause for falling down - again after saying all this, I need to rebuke it by saying _“it’s always a choice to lie down and die, there’s nothing hard about this, no motivation needed, no strong will, or coddling needed,… Just, is pmo good? Make a simple choice to or not, and suffer the consequences”

Please excuse my long rant. I just felt inspired, and would love to join you

5

hey xD
so ty for the being hint i seriously did not notice that iam spelling that wrong xD -.-^ big thanks

iam glad to hear that you feel good with your streak right now :slight_smile:
and

that happend to em to and i think it was one of the main reason i could not get a long streak for years.
but now since i am trying to keep focusing on constructive ways to deal with my life i gets easier.

with you on that one :wink: it tokk me 2 moonths after my last real streak to commit to radically changing my behaviour and signing up here together with the decision to never look at ■■■■ again …

as you migth ahve discoverd i tend to write quite a bit as well :wink: i do enjoy reading about other people and their experiences so there is nothing to excuse :wink:

could you @anon67854825 write what you exoect from this group?

the same goes for @HominiTrooper

since we will ahve to chart a path together i would apreciate your thoguhts on this topic :slight_smile:

bests

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WhatsApp or telegram Group?

I like the text of the New friend of this Topic. I am New here too. Lets go talk about

7

oh goodpoint you would prefer a mobile chat i see i was thinking about wrting here but i do see the appeal. i would prefer telegram or signal :slight_smile:

8

Personally I think here in the group is better rather than taking it off-site into a private space like WhatsApp or Telegram though I can understand why it’s preferable;
We do not want to share everything with the world. Things at work, things in relationships… We could be found out - which all surmounts to fear. excuse the esoteric nature of that observation :grin: but it seems true.

I think what hit me about your post was the transparency and honesty.

What are my suggestions for the group?
I’m not sure yet, but when I post I do like to talk outside of relapses, wins, streaks, plans etcetc
It’s just good to talk - but where I can fail is in the organising of my thoughts, where am I going with it, what’s my point, am I being truly honest, am I spiralling, is it relevant, and most of all, am I tip toing around and avoiding being honest and wise in my words about things in life - I think it’d be good to be more mindful of what I’m writing.

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@HominiTrooper what are your expectations o.O?

10

okay
so i would suggest the first step to developing our “challange” should be an assesment of waht PMO means to you right now
sample questions.
where (location/circumstances/people) do you usually encounter urges?
what ahve you tried upon till now to deal with the urges or to keep away from relapsing?
what do you do in flatline-> what worked waht did not?

that is a first step of getting to know each others issues and current situation

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11

so this weekend was really toguh… i did not get miuch done… i did drest a bit…
i am a tad panicked since thsi week will be a challange-.-.

but my streak si still going and the easy peasy way helps.

i will try to do my very best with regards to my goals this week and keep it up

how are you guys doing?

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12

so you guys hwo u doing??
what happened??
or should I start?

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13

Yo, I am doing fine, what about you?
You didn’t answer the questions I sent you that day :joy:

14

ah damn you are right gona fix that now… i am currently in a rut… i cano not focus on work… hence i am here in rode rot atleast avoid PMO xD

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15

oh btw do you want to join the group/challange?

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16

Oh what’s the group challenge :joy:, missed that part :sweat_smile:

17

read above we ar ebuilding one at least that was my idea :wink:

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18

I’ll pass for now, I am having a good stategy and mindset this time, god forbid but if it doesn’t work, I’ll join.

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19

keep up the good streak!
never touch a running system xd

20

:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:
I won’t, thanks.

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