23.10.2020 Relapse at 3:30 am
You can do it! Believe in yourself.
You are officially a victim of chaser now. God be your savior as it seems you have just surrendered. Are you here to update how and when you relapsed? Is it some kind of a joke to you? Do you not care a bit about your future or your health? If you fail in life who will take care of your parents in old age? I really feel pity for you now, previously I thought you have some substance left in your character, you proved everyone here wrong who believed in you.
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Indeed, I saw this… He can do it!
You need help brother. Abstinence is not recovery, tho action is I have never understood depression so can’t comment but there has to be some system for not Relapsing. I relapsed and now I won’t that almost never works other than when you cut your dick off. So get help there are so amazing books and even audiobooks and forums to have some plan
This is what I wish I could have said to my old self. But I think now you need it more.
Fortify
Your brain on porn
Bliss of a celibate
Recovery as a last resort
Brahmacharya
Idea is same tho fortify us what I love. There are very imp systems there.
Any maybe even check out atomic habits.
You see to relapse at night so put that fucking phone down after 9 and keep it in other room and get a life you can do it.
Hi guys. @Neo9594 @Tagore @Ritesh_k99 @FlowForCourage @Brahmachari_17
I am sorry guys for letting you down. Yes, I am less of a man. Because I have promised to be a Brahmachari many times and not stuck with my words. Yes, I should commit suicide. Yes I am depressed. I am flatlining. Yes I have all the negative symptoms back. And yes I have relapsed many times. 23.10.2020 at 3:30 am was the last relapse that I have reported. Yes I have had thoughts of relapsing again. But also the brain fog, and other negative symptoms remind me that a relapse might kill me.Yes I am making my recovery more and more impossible. I am not sure if I will ever recover. Yes I deserve to die.
But I won’t . For I have seen the best in myself. I have seen my potential. I have seen how I can beat everyone. I have seen my desire to be great. I have seen my drive. I have seen myself doing things I would not believe to do. Everytime I did these things I was on a big streak of NoFap.
SO I WON’T GIVE UP ON MYSELF. I CANNOT PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER RELAPSE. I MIGHT FELL INTO THIS CYCLE AGAIN. AND I MIGHT BE CURSED WITH THIS SHIT. MAYBE I WILL NEVER GET A REAL WOMAN IN MY LIFE. MAYBE I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR LESS THAN MY TRUE CAPABILITY.
BUT I WON’T. I WON’T. FOR GOD’S SAKE I WON’T. FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING MY UNIQUE GIFTS TO PEOPLE, I WON’T. I AM STILL VULNERABLE. I MIGHT FUCK THINGS UP.
But I don’t want to waste time journaling on this portal either. I know posting would make it 10 times easier for me. But I would spend unreasonable time writing posts here. Because I love to write. It is like a therapy to me. But I don’t want to depend on it.
GUYS, I HAVE A MISSION IN LIFE. THE ONLY THING THAT IS HOLDING ME BACK IS MY ADDICTION TO WOMEN AND SOCIAL MEDIA. OKAY THEY ARE TWO THINGS. BUT THEY ARE BOTH COMPUTER RELATED.
A MAJOR PORTION OF MY MISSION IS COMPUTER RELATED. SO I HAVE TO LEARN TO SPEND MY TIME WISELY ON COMPUTER GUYS. I CANNOT FUCK IT UP GUYS.
I WON’T RELAPSE. I WON’T GUYS. I WILL DIE DEFINITELY. THE WITHDRAWALS GET WORSE EVERYTIME. THAT’S WHY THE CHASER EFFECT GETS SO STRONG.
I PRAY TO GOD THESE DAYS BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP. I NEED THIS. ONLY GOD CAN HELP ME NOW. I HAVE SURRENDERED TO HIS WILL NOW.
God give me and my fellow NoFappers the wisdom, strength and knowledge to realize their mission in life. And stay away from lust.
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, ABUSE ME CALL ME A PUSSY OR A WEAK SAUCE. OR A TITTY SUCKER. I AM ALL OF THAT. BUT I WILL BE A TRUE BRAHMACHARI.
I AM A TRUE BRAHMACHARI.
I AM A TRUE BRAHMACHARI.
I AM A TRUE BRAHMACHARI.
VISION 2023 IS COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION FOR ME.
CAREER
SIDE HUSTLE
LEADERSHIP
FITNESS
I promise you, you won’t recognize me by 2023.
I hope i don’t have to write on this forum again. I pray for myself and all of you to become GREAT at whatever you do.
AGAIN ! SORRY FOR BEING A DISGRACE TO THE COMMUNITY.
I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD GUYS. ONE DAY.
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I have read some of posts of your diary recently. Dont give up. We are here to recover and we will achieve it over time.
Be focus bro! You’ll succeed because you know how bad failure is.
You are not a disgrace and don’t be sorry for your biology. Just try to understand the urges, don’t fight it to beat it. Observe it when it comes. Try to come to the conclusion that sex and masturbation or watching porn is like playing with fire. It will only burn your health and your career. Only then you can overcome this. Do nofap for yourself and not for others views or opinions about you. It will elevate you to greater heights in life. Since you have good writing skills and you love computers, you can utilize your skill to start a blog or do writing stints/ job work online to earn money along with sharpening your skills. In short build yourself. You are here on this community for some reason. And surely that reason cannot be posting your relapses every now and then. You are better than that. And you don’t disgrace me or anybody for that matter. Its just that it pains me to see that you are giving away yourself to this habit. So now enough of this. Promise to yourself and none other to leave this for once and all. Goal One- Build your health physically and mentally.
Goal Two- Build your career
Goal Three- Get married to someone you like or love and have a satisfying married life.
Don’t look back now. Kill this habit before it kills you.
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Guys. I need some serious help now. I think I might have to die.
I have a shameful confession to make.
I HAVE RELAPSED. SOMETHING IS WRONG GUYS. What is wrong ? What should I do with myself.
26 OCTOBER 2020 - THE LAST RELAPSE OF MY LIFE
I am killing myself. Goodbye cruel world.
I will jump off the bridge near me.
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You just relapsed…don’t take it seriously…why are you thinking about death!??..you are in good condition…some people daily relapsing 3 to 4 times per day…you are doing better…but now you are going through some bad situation .so don’t worry …keep calm…
I was in 9th standard when I discovered fapping. 12 YEARS ! And I have not been able to quit. I deserve to die.
Wait a second,
What will you say to God after you die?
You think it’s over so early? Do you have anything to lose?
You don’t always have to be perfect, people make mistakes.
You are taking nofap negatively. Your life comes first then nofap.
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Thank you but I do not think I should live like this. Death is a better choice for me now. Remember me as someone who tried his best. But failed.
Kitna hilaun bhenchodon. Hila hila ka thak chuka hu. Every time I relapse, I get a bigger high followed by a bigger LOW. I know this is bad. But I dont know what to do now. So I should die.
I wish all of you overcome it.
skjsdddddddddddddddddddddddddd
IF I CANNOT BE GREAT, I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE. BYE BYE !!!
I WAS BORN TO BE GREAT. BUT I WASTED MY SEED.
Bhai abhi toh time hai fight karneka…
Duniya
mei AJ hazaro log cancer ya air BHI khatarnak bimari se juj Rahe hai … wo log sochte hai ki kash mei Kuch or din ache se ji Sakta. Bhai Thora toh greatful ho jao
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Dont think this way. We all struggle. Just try again. We have to fight with it, not give up. You did great streeks before. I believe you can quit it like we all.
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