The Vortex Success

Journal
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142

MO free: 2 days 12 hours

P free: 3 days

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143

MO: just relapsed

P free: 3 days 10 hours

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144

Relapsed

Every part of PMO back to 0.

I noticed something. I am relapsing only because it feels normal to do it. I need to change this and that will be my success.

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145

I relapsed this morning. 14 hours ago.

Heres the thing, im back to full PMO RELAPSES. IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

However, i know i need a new routine. A new routine can fix this. Because a weird unexplainable emotional feeling tonight is making my spirit feel like im on the border of Earth and Hell.

I need God back. I need to get back to the Bible. I need to live a Christ like life and a sin free life. I need to live like a wise man and preach what I practice

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146

Current Streak: 1 day 11 hours.

I had an urge and someone my body overroad my mind and I went to sleep. I fell asleep dealing with an urge. It is the funniest thing Iā€™ve ever experienced involving urges.

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147

Current streak: 13 hours.

Yeah, i relapsed this morning over loneliness and being single.

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148

I feel like giving up on reaching the success needed to beat this addiction. Iā€™m tired of relapsing because of being single.

I hate the loneliness I feel. I hate having 0 options for dating. Iā€™m tired of asking out women who respond with having boyfriends. I tired of never meeting a single woman. Iā€™m tired of craving a relationship and never getting one.

I have lost faith in on-line dating. Texting nonsense to have a hope of meeting and then she never does because she is fake or not really interested or only wants money.

Iā€™m sad and depressed about my singleness and having always been single. I want a woman Iā€™m attracted to. I want this so i can have someone to touch and kiss and hold close. Its not even about sex. Its about closeness. Its about being with someone real.

I cant ever find someone.

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149

I understand you bro, I felt the same for many years. All I wanted was some natural intimacy with someone I felt attracted to.
You can and will find someone, maybe not right now, but it will happen.

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150

I had a,great day today. Best Monday in a long time if ever. I was busy, i was outside. I talked to a contractor and relaxed.

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151

For those who added me with my code and are able to see my streak, i forgot to reset it this morning.

I relapsed 10 hours ago. So if you can see my streak, just add 10 hours to it and thats where I really am.

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152

Streak back to zero.

Luckily no P involved. Just MO and pictures of blondes.

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153

Thatā€™s a type of semi-corn too

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154

I just keep relapsing. Every 2 days or 48 hours. Its routine. I canā€™t find an escape.

Where is my escape?

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155

Struggling with dopamine cravings. My mind and spirit feel odd.

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156

Dopamine cravings are the most difficult to deal with.
Btw can u explain a bit about what are the activities that u normally do daily to get the dopamine

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157

Many Hours of smartphone usage.

You see, i joined a group on here to limit my phone usage to 2 hours a day. Im sp used to 6 or more hours of usage daily.

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158

I get it and my condition is almost same
With my earlier question
I meant
What u use inthose 6 hours om phone?

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159

Facebook

YouTube

This app

Images of attractive woman

Sometimes my pictures on my phone.

A game I play called Sky.

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160

Remove this entirely
This can be a huge trigger
It may not be easy
But this is one of the most important things

If there is no earning or work from this
Just delete it
Delete it forever if possible

Youtube may act as trigger too
But u can take things slowly and step by step

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161

Just ask yourself
For how many years do u want to keep doing these stuffs and stay at home??

The more u are getting into this
The more u r reducing ur chances of succeeding and finding a partnerā€¦

Ask urself do u want these in ur life??
Or do u want to ocassionally use it
Or do u want to leave these forever

Infact i find social media waste of time
Why do i need to see what others are doing
Its good to find new activities and all through social media
But presently we just keep scrolling so whats the use of using them anyways

Plus many people just post their happy moments on social media
We are not seeing the reality
We are seeing wjat others want to show the worldā€¦

Lastly
I want u think a day in future
Where u have got a partner
So imagine how do u want to spend a normal day
Balancing work and personal life
Do u see urself using phone at the end of a hard day or spending time with ur loved one or doing some good hobby

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