The Start of Raven's NF Diary!

Diary
#1

January 2, 2021 10:16pm
Today marks 2 days and 19 hours of starting NF. Had massive urges the past few days but its starting to tone down. I think i’m starting to develop withdrawal like symptoms. my head feels weird and my heart rate is wonky. i also feel a small sense of anxiety. i looked it up and apparently its normal to have withdrawal symptoms from abstaining. I heard that after 5-7 days, urges would start to flatline and im hoping i could reach that milestone.

reading social media today seems like a bad idea since some of my mutual friends share raunchy stuff there that almost made me relapse but luckily i clicked back to myself before disaster struck. I plan to mute some of my mutuals so i wont accidentally stumble into troublesome content.

today was somewhat productive. I was able to draw digital art and i was able to draw a fanart of one of the characters in a game that i play.

I’m still feeling some urges but i suppose i would be able to get through it. This marks my first NF Diary Entry!

- Raven

5 Likes
#2

Entry No. 2, January 3, 2021 12:09PM
Just woke up late to an asthma attack. Morning wood and urges are harder than usual. had a really raunchy dream which is not nice

1:30PM
Had a massive fight with parents. Felt like shit. Might spiral back into depression i dunno… had to deactivate social media to keep my mind off horrible things

2 Likes
#3

Entry No.3 5:30PM
Not feeling so well. My brain is receeding into that dark place again. Im feeling a cocktail of different emotions and pain and suffering but at the same time im feeling particularly numb.

1 Like
#4

Don’t give up my dude, you’ll get through this, just hold on. You have support here, you can reach out to anyone you want to :blush::heart:

2 Likes
#5

Almost everyone says that… always have been like that. All my friends that said that eventually left me and some ghosted me. At this point its starting to get tiring to explain everything

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#6

Man, expectations and desires are the root cause of all the sorrow in this world. Why do you believe that your “friends” are so important that their absence can destroy your life? Stop this stupid thoughts man. The very reason I disconnected from the social media and the outside world was the same thing, there’s so much toxicity out there. Lies, shallowness, betrayal, bigotry, hatred, abandonment, pleasures, gains, … Fuck this stupid freaking human society man. Who the hell are they to run your lives. Get this inside your brain, nobody’s presence or absence can affect you. Get up man. This is so ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous that you are expecting others to stay with you to get you out of your troubles. Man, what world are you living in? Everyone has their own troubles, everyone who cares for others or says so has always some hidden motive of gaining some benefits from you, which sometimes even they themselves aren’t aware of.
And well, hold yourself. Depression can be one of the reasons for you to fall back into this muddy swamp of PMO, and with every relapse, your chances of getting out of it will continue to get narrower. Don’t give in. PMO won’t solve any of your problems.

1 Like
#7

Entry no. 4 january 4, 2021 3:10am
Its almost my 4th day in and I think i relapsed into depression again. Havent had the energy ro get out of bed and havent eaten anything since yesterday. My head feels dizzy and i dont know what to do

#8

Bro I meant the support here, on this app, stay strong!