PaperBoat's journey [19 M]

I want to share a very sad incident with you all. It didn’t happen with me but I am really feeling sad for it.
There is a teacher on youtube who teaches maths . He really teaches well. He launched a paid course for ₹ 2400 in which he will complete entire 12th class mathematics for preparation of boards 2022. I enrolled for it .
Classes were supposed to start from 22 March but sadly he lost his grandfather one day before it. Due to which he postponed it to today. But today he announced that he needs one more day and will start from tomorrow. But because of that, few students in chats started abusing him and calling him fraud. So he took the class today from his home. The sadness was clearly visible on his face.
Why today’s children are so abusive? Abusing teachers is one of the worst things you can do.

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Today’s children are abusive because they have been spoiled by not only their parents, but by pretty much by everyone around them. And in this internet age, that list of “everyone” is now HUGE.

And with the internet comes porn… and i guarantee you that some of those kids watch it just like you… Think about it… If they can’t sympathize with this teacher… then how will they be able to sympathize with the people they fap to? These are exactly the kind of people who end up hating women. Did you know that there are some prostitutes who are only out on the streets to pay for their son’s medical fees? I saw a TV program on it once and one of those ladies was murdered in cold blood. Her killer was probably the kind of person who felt no sympathy at all… And this attitude also ties into racism as well. If you believed a race was lower than you… then shouldn’t you feel sorry for that race? After all we can’t choose where we are born? But no… these guys don’t see it that way… They choose hate.

But don’t worry. Its a big world out there. Even if you meet 1 million people in your lifetime and they all turned out to be bad, they would be a mere speck compared to the 7 billion (it’ll be 8 billion in 2024) people that exist on this Earth. There are saintly people and there are devilish people. Everyone else lies in between so im sure you’ll find someone decent at some point.

And if you don’t… then make it so that all you have to do is look in the mirror to find one.

About that teacher… I think you should write him an email or something and tell him that you understand that he needs some time to cope with the loss and for him to not let the doubts of these pigs get in the way of him doing the right thing by spreading knowledge…

On a side note ~ today was my first time shaving.

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There are many drugs available for free on the earth currently. ■■■■ is just one of them . Another one is social media, I quit using instagram around 4 months ago. There were two reasons for it , First is staying away from triggers as you know it’s full of nudity. Second one is toxic people. I know I am judging people on basis of a single comment they made. But it’s the impression they are giving to others on internet. Everyone (almost) is ready to fight just because someone don’t agree with their opinion and thinking. We can’t make everyone to agree with our thoughts.
Around an year ago , I asked one of my classmates that what’s the point of using curse words in your every sentence even when you are talking to your friends. He said that If you are not using these words in your sentences, you are not a man. I didn’t think much about it that time but this reply feels shocking to me now. That’s a weird mindset today’s generation is making.

This world is so big. We will definitely meet such great people too. Like this community, Everyone here is helping eachother . This is the first place on Internet I have seen where you can put your points without the fear of getting hated.

Thanks for your suggestion , I will write him an email. That might make him happy.

That’s nice
What’s your age?

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Every generation makes its own mistakes. Remember… It could always be worse… Just look at the baby boomers in the 1960s and the 70s… Personally I think the current generation takes alot of its inspiration from the millenials… Its important that you don’t follow the crowd when the crowd makes a mistake. Cursing is one of them. But remember… that kid will have a hell of a hard time trying to cut back on cursing when he settles down and has a family. By then hopefully he would have learned his lesson… But several people dont and you should be lucky you weren’t born to one of them. Because then you would be raised with the wrong ideas and it would be even harder for you to do the right thing. And think what kind of girl he is going to marry with that kind of attitude?

Also Im 14 by the way. I had a little bit of hair growing. It wasn’t much and it wasn’t very thick. But I heard that the more you shave it the more thicker it’ll get in the future.

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This might be pride. But I really thank to God that I am not one of them, I can’t even imagine myself doing the things most of the youths are doing . They are so worried for their social media profiles instead of for their responsibilities. I don’t know if we are developing the technology in a right way.

I didn’t expect that you are only 14! You writes so well as compared to your age. Keep it up!
I also got a new haricut and trimmed my beard completely today. Now I am feeling good but my face looks very odd to me right now.

I read the message you deleted… Keeping yourself busy isn’t it. Life isn’t about working 24/7. Okay fine… It might be that way for chinese people but thats besides the point… Life isn’t about enjoying either. Because enjoying will at some point get boring and you will crave for more and more “fun” things which aren’t really fun… Thats exactly what happened to you and me… So then what is life about?

Think on your own im not giving you the answer…

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I relapsed again. I realised that I am not relapsing because of urges. I have control on urges. The reason is that I think that one more time isn’t wrong . The addiction works like this .
Only one reason which is not even genuine or doesn’t even makes sense cause me to relapse, But why I don’t say it to myself that there are thousand solid reason which says that Not fapping is better. These weird thoughts because of which I am failing again and again are only short term, they will fade away from my mind soon.
Today , I am again on Day 0. I keep seeing this number since last year after every few days . And then I promise myself that I will not fail again and at the end I relapse after saying that one more failure isn’t bad.

To be honest , I have never failed . I have always give up. Failures are not bad. I could have control that every single relapse by saying to myself that this is wrong, this isn’t worthy. But I didn’t, I decided to fap again because of which I am here at day 0 again.

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Everyone’s addiction works in a different way. You say that your addiction gives you nonsensical reasons to relapse. And you have tried to beat your addiction by thinking about a thousand reasons NOT to relapse. But have you ever really tried to strongly justify even one of those thousand reasons?

If too much money is printed a currency will lose its value. If a woman shares her body with random people on camera then she throws away the value it has as a symbol of love and trust. If your army is the largest and poorest reinforced in the world then it will lose to the smallest and best reinforced in the world. So I suggest you reinforce your reasons. For me I only have one. That reason is listed in the status section for my profile. And I have reinforced it with all i’ve got…

Lets face it… You have failed… thousands of times… For years you have been wasting your life. Some people are born without genitals. You are wasting that gift which god gave you. Throwing away the power to give life mindlessly… And after all this god will still forgive you… Remember… You can fail constantly and forever… But you can only ever truly quit once…

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I relapsed again. Again my mind tricked me and I didn’t control it. I don’t know if things are going in right direction or not.

Did you read this book?

easypeasymethod.org
Quit pornography immediately, without willpower or any sense of deprivation or sacrifice.

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You want things to go in the right direction for you? Well thats NEVER going to happen… You need to do things yourself. I’ve already given you alot of tips. And you are on the right track. In your last message you voiced out your thoughts which is always a good thing, but it is essential for nofap.

But you still keep slipping up and failing. Which can only mean one thing… You are doing something wrong… I think you need to take this more seriously… Man up to the challenge. Don’t dabble around. Take some action and don’t disappoint me any further.

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Brother dig deeper, i think there is deeper explination for why we fail, why i did it, for me there is is gap this feeling of void i need either attention either depressed ir else.
its great that u joined no fap at 16, i wish i joined earlier, you’re on the right place , believe in you’re self, believe you are more than u think.
Stay strong we will beat this together

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I am not in regret of failing nofap again. I am more regretting because I ain’t doing anything meaningful. I never did anything good in my life which can help in progressing in the path of devotion to God.
I stopped learning. I want to learn advanced mathematics. But I haven’t take even a single step towards it. I started learning web developement last year and it’s been months since I made my last project.
Life is meaningless when we stop our learning process.
I am 16 now. What I have learnt in these 16 years? Just lived the life on auto pilot.

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U can keep on this habit and see how bad it is on your self, or i suggest read more about it, read whaf it caused to be people here , so u have strong reason why to stop,
As for achieving , first schedule your day one day before in advance so u dont stare to the walls

What i find usefull is share your plans for the day with others and even set a meeting with someone to work on something , that way you’re not just commited to yourself but also for others, (dont want to wast his/thier time)

And about life in general, we are as great as we can offer to other, the more help u can give the greatest u are , be humbel be loving, help people , and thats our legacy after all

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@PaperBoat are you not having any exams these days?

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@Rab_J I will make schedule now for tomorrow. Will try to follow it at my best.

@nofapstar123 I have my last Mid term exam on 15th April . Then my final exams of class 11 will start from 3rd May.

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That meaningful thing you’re looking for is right under your nose. Quitting fapping is not easy. If you want to learn something then just google it. You CAN bring meaning to your life. And nowadays its more easier to do that than ever before! But it is also much more easier to destroy your life… And right now you are aiming at both bringing meaning to your life and quitting destroying your life. Which is good, but it will be very hard. And I wouldn’t dig too much into the “0 willpower quitting method” because from what it seems… you will need all the willpower you can get to do these two things…

And remember. You still have many years to go where you can learn several things. But right now your main priority is to learn to quit.

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Day 1 :-
Woke up at 4:20 am. Today I went to temple with my mother to do puja which everyone here does once in every year. The crowd was so much but we still got our turn in 20-25 mins. It took us less than 2 hrs to do it in all near temples. The day started with so much energy. Although I didn’t study today and phone usage was too much but it was still better than yesterday.

Wake up early :white_check_mark:
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Exercise - Upper body :white_check_mark:
Drink enough water :white_check_mark:
No junk food :white_check_mark:
Study :x:

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Day 2 :-
Woke up at 7:30 am. I am not so much productive right now. I am just doing gaming whole day. But those sexual thoughts are very far from me. No urges till yet.

Wake up early :white_check_mark:
Meditation :x:
Exercise - Lower body :white_check_mark:
Drink enough water :white_check_mark:
No junk food :white_check_mark:
Study :x:

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Good job. But give it some more effort. I have already seen enough X’s to last me a hundred lifetimes…

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