The real issue?

I’ve been in this whole journey for a long time now and every now and again I discover new pieces of the bigger picture.

Today I want to share with you one important thing of my struggle:
We should ask our self big questions. Not to get an answer, but to learn from the pondering.
The new question for me is: How do I know if I’m connected to life.

I actually think, that the issue of my life is way bigger than simply porn. The issue is the flight from reality. There is this thing called life. And there are we. An untrained mind tends to flee from life from time to time because it presents unpleasant feelings. We struggle against these and the option is a flight reaction. What can such a flight be? Basically everything. Some dive into work, others watch TV, play games, reading books, listen to music, watch porn. This doesn’t judge the things in categories like good or bad. It is only a tool to not feel your surrounding. A sage, on the other hand, understands the beauty in every moment. There is no such thing as good or bad. Everything is connected and thus contains a myriad of opportunities for the path of life and for yourself to improve. Thus, the sage doesn’t want to flee from life. He wants to experience every moment, find the beauty, learn from the experience and move on to the next moment.

Fleeing from reality is the great disease of the current age. We stop learning, and stop to improve. Life becomes more and more uncomfortable and we flee more often. Thus, we will be unprepared for all the things life presents. We become parents and continue just like that. We lead by example and show our kids that we don’t wanna have unpleasant experiences and thus flee. We are on the phone in front of our children, we say that certain things are bad. There is bad weather, there are bad people, more expensive stuff is better…
We, as human beings unlearn what it means to live.

The important question to start is, how do I know if I’m connected to life? From the question “what makes me happy” I already learned that there is no category of “happy” and “unhappy” activities. Watching TV can make you happy or unhappy. Same goes with all else.
Here, it is the same. You can be connected to live while working or you can use work as a tool to flee from life.

I think a good point to start is to agree, that we are not perfect and that we can and should learn. Not necessarily how to cope with certain feelings but more to see the truth. To see the beauty in every moment. If you don’t feel good, dive into the feeling and wonder, why you don’t wanna feel the way you do.
The more we see the beauty, the more we will be connected to life.
Also a good link where I will start is the following page:


You are right and I agree with you my friend :slight_smile:


@neveragaintw you are right brother!
It’s called escapism. It has been, is, and will continue to be a problem for humanity. That’s why people go from one p* site to another, one movie to another, one fandom to another.
Personally for me my biggest struggle with escapism is via books since I am an avid reader. I enter the world of the book and read more about it and connect with others who follow it too (I’m an INFJ so this tends to happen by nature).

Only Christ keeps me rooted in reality.

Books and movies/games are good, but not as escapism. Very true.


Thanks a million
Very nice post. Pls keep sharing good info like this. You are a gem for this community.


what the f…
I just made a personality test online which told me that I’m an INTJ.
I’ve read an extensive characterization of INTJs and realized that this is probably the most fitting description of myself that I’ve ever seen! Basically every sentence holds true. Almost scary.

I’ve never heard of escapism. I definitely have to read about it since it sounds like it could really describe my feelings I stated before.


Another INTJ here. Had the same feeling when took the test. Though I find it not very helpful to fit myself in a box of fixed traits. Over the years I have done few things which many extroverts won’t do but I have to accept due to my personality I didn’t enjoy dong them much.


Awesome! INTJs are like Elon Musk and Einstein!
Yeah the personality tests are very accurate. I was surprised at how accurate INFJ was for me.
I’m assuming you went to the 16 personalities site and did the test @neveragaintw ?

How me, @raushan and you are INFJ and INTJ? Escapism is more common in introverts, since we enjoy being alone and being imaginative.

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