I’m back after a short break from the forum. Ready to tackle life again, for another go. I’m resetting the streak after this post, just to be pure and spark a new beginning.
The last 3-4 days have been absolutely sucky. I had lost all hope in life, continuously fell back into my victim mentality, like I was set up for failure the moment I was born and I won’t ever succeed, like I will never be free of the consequences of the choices I made as a little child and they are what was going to decide my fiture and present, such thoughts reigned in my head. I was effectively having a brain meltdown all these days and I ended up exactly right where I started, the chronic and continuous coomer, one who fapped 5-6 tines a day (i did that. I was totally devoid of any hope) It suffices to say I was in a totally dark and perilous place, and I’m not going to allow it to continue.
I’mma do this again, NoFap, self improvement journey, right from the scratch. All the habit building procedures, studying, exercise, meditation etc, I had stopped doing for the past days. It was incredibly sucky and has taken a toll on my physical and mental health. There is no one to blame but myself. I take full, total responsibility for my life and actions. If my life is sucky, that is because I live it that way. And I’m not gonna be living my life sucky. I am going to live my life well. I’m gonna be the person I wanna be. The past mistakes do have a significant impact on my life now, but I will figure out how to deal with them as I move along, and there is no chance to “start over” at life, is there?
No more instant gratification. This is what I’m addict to, not just porn. I have trained my brain to seek instant gratification for 17 fucking years! I doubt that it will be an easy battle to unlearn all that and be actively seeking out delayed gratification, but let’s start small, one step at a time.