The Most Important Question...WHY?

I am sorry if this appears too long, too obnoxious,too arrogant or nothing more than just a rant. Please bear with me.
I want to confess that I am new here,inexperienced about the No fap culture, but not new to pmo or not someone who has tried to stop it and succeeded anymore than you. I am a humble man who developed this addiction, this affinity to poison overtime just like everybody here. And just to make everything clear about why we need to fight this menace, I am writing this post.
Since the few days I have been here, people post about their problems, their failures, their embarrassments with this addiction, the small victories they come up with and then they are back to day zero. They talk about the marvellous streaks they came up with, feeding their own gullibility, and then dropping back to wipe the floor. For how long are we going to do This? When can we say that we have attained total freedom from our feeble bodily needs? What standards or criteria do we use to mark our victory?

For once, we have to agree that we have forgotten the most important question. The mark of the free man is that ever gnawing uncertainty in him of whether he is right.
His most important charachteristic is his sense of inquiry. His most frequently used word is ‘WHY’.
And so, I ask you who is reading this: why are you here? What reasons do you have to be here? Why are you fighting something that can give you instant pleasure and a way out of life’s mess? Why do you want to stop that which can give you a few moments of happiness in this god forsaken world?
I was a young teenager who saw profanity the first time with a bunch of friends, never even contemplating that it would not leave my side for so many years. I started slow but learned fast to deceive the world. I viewed moderately, initially with fear in my heart, which slowly dispersed. I watched amateur stuff initially but then rapidly developed tolerance to stuff so horrific that I dare not mention it.
But the worst happened when I almost did that stuff to someone I really care about. Someone who trusts me with her heart, someone who believes in me. No words are enough , no emotions passionate enough to describe how ashamed I felt of myself that day. From that day forth, it was nothing less than a mission for me to stop this immeasurably abhorred and deplorable habit, so that I could once more look at the mirror and feel proud about myself. Frankly I do not even care if it is harmful or healthy, it has been to me nothing less than a bane. A curse that took away precious years of my life. This was my unfortunate story.
So now I ask you who is reading this, who has suffered just like me. WHY? Why are you here? What is your reason? How far can you go? How far will you go?
No matter what happens, in any case, every time you get down to doing that one think that makes you ashamed, gives you reasons to hate yourselves, makes you weak and feeble; Please never forget to inquire with yourselves. Decide, reason with yourself, never forget to ask yourself that most fundamental question.
Good luck, sorry to have taken so long;
Love you guys!

8 Likes

Thanks for these words man.
I relapsed again just now…
And this is why I can not take it anymore:

It keeps me turning into a monster that I not want to be.

I do not want to do things just for my own pleasure anymore, without thinking the consequences and how it is hurting and disrespecting someone, myself included.

I just want to be free from this damned addiction, and I will never give up trying, no matter how deep the hole I digged for myself.

Even if I think that myself is a hypocrite, useless, less than shit person, I will gonna change it or gonna die trying.
Because is much better try than give up.

5 Likes

I completely agree. It’s important that we ask ourselves the important questions so that we remember why we’re making these decisions. The answer is very simple, but let me answer it with the following analogy;

You stand before a smoking-addict and a non-smoker. Offer each of them a cigarette. What do you think will happen? The non-smoker will either choose to take the cigarette, light it, and smoke it or he will refuse. Point being that he has that choice.
What of the smoking-addict? Does he really have that same level of freedom? He may say refuse the cigarette, but only through restraint. Whether he wants to smoke or not, his habit has done so that his body dictates the choice; and any deviation from that choice will cause a lot of discomfort. Also, if you have to be bound to something, be it substance or habit, in order to be happy; are you really truly happy?

You pose a good question in the middle of your post; Why should I fight something that is giving me a few moments of happiness in a world full of stress? Well, we can answer that by addressing the two misconceptions that that question carries.
First of all, never mistake momentary pleasure for happiness. After the peak of orgasm, the magic quickly wears off and you’re back to square one emotionally. You likely feel indifferent, hollow, empty and perhaps even a little disguisted or ashamed of yourself.
Secondly, I’d like address the notion that it GIVES something. This is an illusion, because in reality it TAKES AWAY much more than it gives; that being your freedom and self-control. You sacrifice your freedom for momentary plesasure. And once this transaction becomes a habit, it becomes like one of those annoying subscriptions you can’t get out off. What is worse is that that same freedom can be used to aquire real happiness. So in reality, you’re paying a heavy price for something you could be getting a better deal for elsewhere, meanwhile your happiness is being held back by your addiction.

You ask: WHY?
My answer: Because WHY should I let something so petty dictate so much of my life?

3 Likes

Am here because like you I been having this addiction for far too long, am nothing compared to what I used to be, not only phisically but most importantly mentally. I want to change not because am tired of it, I want to change because I need too, this problem has dragged me down for so long and even tho things appear to work out my way I can’t imagine how much wonderful things would be If I was in a better mental and phisical condition, a lot of people say that this is natural and doesn’t hurt you, well am here to say this addiction is not healthy and it does hurt you. When u have been doing it for so long, your body gets used to never having energy, so you feel down all the time, your body looses all stamina, and you feel weaker. And your body adapts to it and when it’s years of it your body gets used to that feeling and you realize, that even tho you’re on your early 20’s but you feel 35, you need to change.

We all have a story, and our reasons we all have the same goal in common, but in order to succeed you need support, I advice to speak out, don’t be afraid, speak to someone really close to you and open your heart to them. And have serious, clear and reasonable goals… Nobody will quit forever, but learn to Control it. Go few days, and if you feel confortable, go for a week than 2 weeks, set schedules, like all addictions this is a slow process of letting go slow. While also maintaining yourself occupied with other duties maybe start a gym membership. Well stay strong brothers you not alone in this fight know that.

3 Likes

I quit porn forever i refuse to be a slave to such thing. I have looked at the whole addiction thing and saw how pathetic it is that we let ourselves drawn in such thing as porn, its just pathetic the action itself is pathetic, the sites are also pathetic the way you have to hide yourself to do it is pathetic, the feeling after doing it absolutly felt pathetic, i looked and felt pathetic when i saw myself in the mirror. This is why i quit this forever never looking back ever!

4 Likes

It’s okay man, just keep overcoming your previous streak. Make it a pact with yourself. Better yet, try to double it every time you break it.
By your words, it seems as if you have drowned your self into self hatred. We all stumble and fall many times, Sadraw but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it. But inspiring ourselves to get up one more time every time is what makes all the difference. So, no need to feel heavy about your self.

3 Likes

Q : WHY are you here?
A : To escape from the curse in my life and fix everything and discover my truest and greatest legendary potential.
Q : What is your reason?
A : I’ve made so many stupid decisions and I’ve gone through many agonizing misery and pain for years. That’s why I need to change(upgrade) myself in order to change my life.
Q : How far can you go?
A : Currently in day 4. But I’ve got several urges while looking at arousing females.
Q : How far will you go?
A : FOREVER. SERIOUSLY. FOREVER. UNTIL MY LIFE IS FULL OF ABUNDANCE AND LUCK.
Q : What standards or criterias do we use to mark our victory?
A : WHEN OUR WHOLE LIFE HAS A BEAUTIFUL COLOUR ONCE AGAIN. WHEN OUR WHOLE LIFE CHANGES FROM BEING “SH***Y” TO “INTERESTING” AND “EXCITING”.

3 Likes

Fuck yeah @Ddann no pmo

1 Like