The Macro Files (Overcoming Macrophilia) [24, M]

@Forerunner Yeah, same here! Like I said near the beginning, I listened to a few different podcasts at the time on quitting masturbation and pornography, and any time that the subject of accountability came up, it really made me anxious. Sadly, in a lot of the circles I’m in, that kind of intervention isn’t used until someone really gets into trouble, or things get really bad in their relationship. I wish I had known then what I know now! Like you said, so much support and encouragement here! I thank God for it!

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Hey, I just wanted to put up a quick post on here tonight. Today has been good overall. I have two bits of good news! One: Even though I still have urges every once in awhile, lately I’ve been putting into practice what I was talking about last night, and confronting those feelings that are driving those urges. And Two: My Pac Man game is getting better! :joy: I’ll be up to level 256 in no time! I’ve just got 249 more levels to go :laughing:. Back on subject, lately I’ve felt myself looking at my addiction to macrophilia a lot differently. Some of the things before that turned me on, I’m starting to question those desires, and as weird as it sounds, there’s some of them that are starting to make me cringe. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have my moments of temptation, but I feel myself seeing it for what it is. Macrophilia, even in it’s milder forms, is just a manifestation of undealt with insecurity. Even in some fantasies, where the giantess is kind to the other person, there is still this dynamic of, “I’m insignificant, I’m not as big or able as this other person,” and it shows how little (no pun intended) we think of ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, we should think of others, and esteem them higher than ourselves; but this is taking it to an unhealthy level, and is nowhere near what Jesus meant when he said for us to love our neighbor as ourselves. God loves you, and He cares for you! Paul told Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:25a, “In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves…” We often think of pornography being the main enemy that we have to face, but sadly, we often, as Paul puts it, oppose ourselves. I can say from my experiences that I am often my own worst enemy. I find myself trying to justify doing it just one more time because, “Hey, you’re feeling low. You need something to pick you up, and Tetris ain’t cutting it, and neither is that book you’re reading, or whatever you’re engaged in. Go ahead, God forgives, doesn’t He? And if He was really that concerned with what you’re doing, wouldn’t He answer your prayers by just miraculously taking it away? He’s done it for other people with other addictions, hasn’t He? Maybe He cares more about them than He does about you!” And if I let my mind have free reign, it’ll keep on giving me all kinds of different thoughts, and keep building up, until I finally give in. I think that’s why that Paul also talks about taking every thought captive, and bringing it into obedience unto God. If we humble ourselves to our own desires, and our own fantasies, they will do nothing but tear us down, and eventually destroy us. But if we humble ourselves to our Heavenly Father, He will build us up in the right way, and will give us confidence by instilling His truth in us! That’s something else that I keep thinking about: it’s not so much of a battle of "don’t look at ■■■■, and don’t masturbate, as it is a battle of dismantling lies, and reinforcing the truth. One of the biggest truths that I have to remind myself is that masturbation is not my friend, and it’s not gonna make me feel better, or even solve my problem. It’s only going to make it worse.

Anyways, I’ll stop there, or I’ll be up all night. Sorry to stop so suddenly, but if I don’t, I know this is gonna go longer than I mean to :joy: . Thank you for reading! I appreciate it! God bless you in your fight!

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Hey! I hope everyone is doing well! I just wanted to make a quick post. Today I had a few urges, but I haven’t given in to them. I never realized just how much of my life that I was just drowning out with masturbation. I mean, really, I’ve found that in the least little negative situation, the inkling of a thought of masturbating comes into my head. But fortunately, I’ve treated these thoughts with a “Hi, bye!” kind of mentality. In other words, as soon as it comes, I don’t make it a welcome guest. Never forget (and I say this to myself as well), that masturbation is not the solution to getting rid of your negative emotions. It’s only going to increase those emotions by 100% after you’ve relapsed. Again, masturbation isn’t a supportive friend; it’s a blood-sucking leach! Never forget that.

God bless you in your fight! Don’t give up!

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Hey! I hope y’all are doing fine this evening! Today went pretty well. I don’t have a lot to report on, but that’s better than having to report a relapse! Same stuff that’s been happening over the past few days. I’ve had the occasional urge, but I’m still confronting those feelings, and those urges. I would say I’m taking it one day at a time, but I know I’ve read several people on here who’ve warned about having a “streak mentality”. Honestly, I know that I look at how many days I’ve made it, but I don’t think as much of it as a streak as I do as a progress report. Kind of like when you were a kid, and your parents would measure your height, and they’d make a mark on the wall so you could see how much you had grown since the last time you were measured. I look at it as an encouragement. It’s not as far as I’ve been, but it’s further than I was when I started, and for that, I thank the Lord very deeply!

God bless you in your fight!

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Hey, sorry about posting this late. It’s been a busy day. But I just wanted to post something really quick on here, letting y’all know how I’m doing. Today has been a good day. Again, it had its hard parts, but I’m still trusting in God to help me through each day! He’s promised to supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus! And I very humbly thank Him for all that He’s done for me in the last two weeks! If I relapse tomorrow (and I have no plans or desires to do so!), I can say that the last 2 weeks have been the happiest I’ve had in a long time! It really has felt like healing for me! Healing from macrophilia, healing from masturbation, healing from having the wrong spirit about me in facing this thing! Again, I humbly thank God for these past 2 weeks!

So lately, I’ve gotten a little off track from my main topic in this: overcoming macrophilia. And you may tell me, “User1234567890, what’s so bad about macrophilia? It’s just a stupid fantasy! It’s not hurting anyone. No more than people’s fantasies about becoming a Jedi is hurting them! It’s just a fetish; nothing wrong with that, right?”. Well, let me submit this for your consideration: maybe it is unconsciously harming someone other than yourself. You say, “Oh, yeah?! That’s stupid! I mean, in my fantasies, I’m more likely the one to get hurt! She might step on me! How could my fantasies be remotely harming anyone else than myself?”

Well, it is my belief that macrophilia can, and does, harm your perception of the women around you; and as much as I hate to admit it, maybe even more than just regular pornography! Now that’s a bold statement, and you may disagree with me, but hear me out. With pornography, it trains men’s minds to look at women as sex objects, and just existing for their self-gratification. But with macrophilia, depending on what type of fantasies you are struggling with, it creates this idea of women being mean, cruel, vindictive, spiteful, and even selfish. The big problem with macrophilia (pun inteneded this time) is that these things can affect your thought process outside of the fantasy world, and change the way you think in the real world. Not only are you seeing women through the eyes of a pornography addict, and looking at them as an object, now you’re placing ideas on them that may be as opposite of their character as barking is to a cat! You may meet a very kind girl, who goes out of her way to help others, but through your fantasies, you see her, and others like her, as someone who is just concerned with getting her desires fulfilled, even if they harm or belittle (pun not originally intened, but I’ll claim it, anyways) those around them.

Now I’m not saying that you’ll constantly be thinking, “All women are like the giantesses in my fantasies!”, but I will guarantee that these fantasies, if not dealt with, will change the way you look at women, and not for the better! I can sadly say it has warped my thinking at times about how women are, and I’m having to change my thinking about that. And it’s weird, because even with all that, I don’t know of a time that I haven’t wanted to marry a woman. But because of macrophilia, I’ve trained my brain to think that women are really like this, and think thoughts like, “Women don’t really care about men. They just care about someone meeting their needs, and that’s all. All women think men are worthless, and they just use them!”

The most dangerous thing about this lie is that there are real women out there that will enforce this lie. Are there terrible, selfish, manipulative women out there? Sure there are. But there are also a lot of great women out there that are nothing like those women; and when you think like that, you punish the many for the sins of the few.

So if you have no other reason to quit macrophilia, do it for the women in your life. Do it for that sister that you love; do it for that friend at school or work that’s always there to make you smile just because you’re her friend. Do it for that little girl that looks up to you, because you’re her hero! Whoever that girl is in your life, and whatever the relationship is (friend, family member, girlfriend, spouse, etc.), do it for her! It’s not just harming you: it’s harming her, too!

I hope some of that makes sense, and didn’t come out the wrong way. But this stuff has an effect on more than ourselves, and we have to consider those around us as well! I hope it’s an encouragement for you to quit this mess, and helps you rededicate yourself to this fight. If it doesn’t do that for anyone else, it’s a reminder for myself. God bless you in this fight!

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Hey! I hope this finds you doing well! Today was a very good day today! I’ve felt very well-rested, and I’ve felt refreshed! As far as urges go, I had one point that I had an urge. It was kinda weird, I had just woke up from an afternoon nap, and it’s like, you know how when you first wake up, and you’re mind is alert, and you have several thoughts of what you could do rush through your head? Well, I had a situation like that when I woke up, and one of those thoughts was, “Hey, you could just…well, you know.” It wasn’t what I’d call a strong urge, but it was very random; and previously, this is the kind of situation that would of really tripped me up. When a thought like that comes at an unexpected time, it can really knock you for a loop!

But when I had that thought, I just treated it like an unexpected guest. This may be a random thought, but I thought about the Disney movie George of the Jungle, when Lyle shows up unexpectedly, and Ursula responds, kind of confused, and not exactly welcomingly, “Lyle, what are you doing here?” It’s like, in spite of the fact that they’re supposed to be “engaged”, you can tell that she’s not that thrilled to see him there (I know it’s random, but if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know what I mean, and if you haven’t, go watch it on Disney+). Anyways, that’s how I look at these random thoughts of masturbation, or wanting to watch pornography: we should treat them as if they’re a stranger in our minds. “What are you doing here?”. It thinks it can just barge in unannounced like it owns the place because it’s been an “old friend” for so long. But I think it’s about time we show this “old friend” the way to the door! Just imagine Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air throwing Jazz out the front door! :joy: That’s the attitude we need to have when these random thoughts come into our minds.

On that subject, let me leave you with the words of Paul. He says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”. Just because it’s not on a computer screen, or in a magazine, doesn’t mean that it’s not pornography. The mind is a sufficient enough screen for viewing pornography! But when lust attempts to play that garbage out in your mind, CHANGE THE CHANNEL! One more movie reference, and I’ll shut up for the night. Think about Harrison Ford in Air Force One when these thoughts come to mind: GET OFF MY PLANE! :joy: Don’t make it a welcome guest: show it the door! God bless you in your fight!

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Hey, I hope y’all are doing alright today! Today had its challenges, but overall, it’s been a good day! I’m very blessed and humbly grateful to have made it as far as I am, and I give full glory to God for what He has given me over the past 14 Days!

Today, kinda similar to yesterday, I had a few urges, and one, especially hit me strong. But when it hit, I thought about something. I thought about the past few days. I thought about how good they felt! And then I thought about how bad I used to feel back when I was masturbating either every day, or every other day, and how terrible it felt. And I thought to myself, “Am I really ready to give up this good feeling? Am I really ready to give up the peace that I’ve felt just over the past 14 days? Am I ready to give up all of that…for one more taste of something that won’t even bring me that much joy?” And I came to only one answer: NO! I’m not ready to give it up! I’m not ready to go back to that! It feels so good to be able to walk around without the guilt and the shame and the anxiety that masturbation brings about! I don’t say that to brag, because I’m no better than anyone else, and I’m just as capable of falling. But I’ve really enjoyed the past 14 days that I’ve experienced, and it just feels so good not to use masturbation as a coping mechanism. It feels good to be able to analyze your own feelings and address them, and deal with them in the right way, instead of stifling them with this addiction!

There’s an old gospel song that really expresses my thoughts about this thing, and it goes:

I’ve been traveling here in this life, with it’s heartaches troubles and strife;
Sometimes Satan tries to tell me to turn aside.
I say, "Satan, get thee behind, no returning in me you’ll find,
I’m too near my heavenly home where I’ll abide".

I’m too near home with my Lord, Too near home and heaven’s reward,
I am not returning to sin, I’ve made my vow.
There’s nothing to go back to, oh Praise the Lord, sweet heaven’s in view.
I’m too near my heavenly home to turn back now.

I feel like the songwriter said: I’m too near home to turn back now! Like I said, I’m not trying to boast, because I know what I’ve been, and what I’ve done, and I don’t even deserve the past 14 days that I’ve had. But I thank God as humbly as I know for everything that He’s allowed me to have!

Don’t give up! Don’t give up peace! Don’t give up joy! Don’t give up fighting this thing! Don’t give up: the goal is just ahead! God bless you in this fight!

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Hey! I hope y’all are doing well today! Nothing really big happened today. A lot of the same: I’ve had a few urges, but I’ve managed them thus far with the help of the Lord!

Okay, so this is what I was thinking about today. So in Christian circles, there’s a verse that is quoted very often in regards to staying away from lust and pornography and such; but I’m ashamed to admit that there was a point in time that I struggled with this verse. There’s actually an accountability software that’s named after this verse, which is Job 31:1, Which says, “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?”

Now you may ask me, “User1234567890, what’s so bad about this verse? What problem could you have possibly had with this verse?” Well, I really kinda just passed it off as a verse that was good for someone who is already married, but not really not for somebody who’s single, like me. You see, I tried to justify this viewpoint by saying, “Well, that was easy for Job to say!” (I bet you never thought you’d hear anyone say that anything was easy for Job! :joy:) “You, see, he didn’t have to think upon a maid! He already had a wife! He was able to sleep with her; and even if she didn’t want to sleep with him, well, he’s married to her. He can think about her, can’t he?”

Now anyone who’s married can probably already spot the fallacy of my argument. But for sake of exposition, looking back, I can see 2 main problems with this line of thought.

The first one, is that even though Job was married, that doesn’t mean that everything was perfect, and it certainly didn’t mean that he got his way all the time. Now as I said, I’m not married, so I can’t speak from first-hand experience on that subject; however, I do know human nature, and humans are contrary. How many men have asked their girlfriend, or even their wife, what they want to eat, and she responds with, “Oh, it don’t matter.”; but whatever restaurant you pick ends up being the one that she wasn’t in the mood for! I know that men can be fickle sometimes, too, but you get my point. In other words, just because that Job may have been in the mood, doesn’t mean that Mrs. Job was in the mood as well. And at those moments, it wouldn’t have been so easy to keep that covenant that he made with his eyes. And notice that he even says, “Why then should I think upon a maid?” Looking isn’t the only problem. It would have been easy for Job to fantasize about someone else, whether real, or imaginary. But he kept that promise that he made.

And secondly, this line of thinking revealed the selfishness in my nature. After all, I thought, “Well, he could have thought about his wife for his own pleasure!” But is that what women are really for? Are they simply to be an object of gratification for ourselves? You know, we talk about pornography degrading women, and it does; but even more so, the men whose mind have been conditioned by pornography degrade the women in their lives, because they see them through this lens! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with a man and wife enjoying their marriage. But for us guys to look at women as nothing more than someone that fulfills our sexual desires, and that’s it, that’s messed up, and furthermore, that’s not loving!

I would contrast this with a couple of other situations. One is when Isaac married Rebekah, and in Genesis 24:67, it says that after Sarah (Isaac’s mother) had died, that Isaac was comforted by Rebekah. The other verse is in 2 Samuel 12:24, when Bathsheba’s child had died, it says that David comforted her, and went in unto her, and lay with her. Both of these verses show situations where one spouse used sex to be a comfort to the other one.

So much of our society portrays sex as self-medication: it’s all about the pleasure that it brings to me! Whether it’s pornography, masturbation, or even hook-up culture, this is the picture that’s presented. With masturbation, there can be no situation of using it for the good of someone else because it’s a solo act. It’s all about me and my feelings. But these two that are mentioned, used it as a tool, not to get what they wanted, but for the welfare of their spouse!

I even see, I guess you’d call it a character arch, where David started out using sex as something to fulfill his own desires by committing adultery with Bathsheba, but then using it later, when they were married, for her welfare! He started out selfishly, not thinking about Bathsheba, or even her family that she had with Uriah; but afterwards, he was thinking about her, and about cheering her in her grief over her lost child. He could have said, “Well you know what, I lost that child, too! I grieved! I fasted! I prayed! Who consoled me? Where were you to make me feel better?!” But his thoughts were not about himself in this moment. Finally, they were on her, and helping her, and not on how she could benefit him and his desires!

I hope that makes sense to y’all, and you see where I’m coming from. So the long story short, is that Job didn’t have it as easy as I had thought, and also, just because he was married to his wife, doesn’t mean that he was to treat his wife merely as a tool for his desires. Like I said, masturbation trains our minds to think this way: to think selfishly. I keep saying it, and I’ll stand by my statement: This fight isn’t as much about, “Oh, don’t look at ■■■■!” or, “Don’t think about ■■■■!” as it is about dismantling lies and reinstating truth in those places! Here, I had to dismantle these lies, and reinstate the truth of how important this covenant with our eyes is: not just for married men, but for even us single men!

I hope it’s been a help to you! It was a help to me just thinking about it this way! Keep tearing down those lies in your life, and keep building back with the truth! God bless you in your fight!

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One more thing. I haven’t made a lot of memes or anything, but I did think of this scene from Princess and the Frog, and thought it was fitting😄.

When you’re reminding yourself why you quit:

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Hey! I hope everyone is doing alright! I just wanted to put up a quick post, and this time, I’ll be pretty brief. Today was good overall, but I did have a little bit of brain fog. But still, I haven’t given in yet!

I would say more right now, but honestly, I’ve felt kinda sick this evening (don’t worry, I don’t think it’s too bad, mostly a headache and my stomach bothering me). I just wanted to keep with my daily update.

:joy: I’ll try to continue with my usual posts tomorrow! God bless you in your fight!

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brevity is the soul of wit

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Hey! I hope y’all are doing great today! Today has been pretty good! I’m still not having anything major, but I’m also not letting my guard down. I’ve had to remind myself of what I put up the other day from the Princess and the Frog :smile: . As stupid as it sounds, it’s been a help to remind myself that this thing didn’t make me happy before, and it ain’t gonna make me happy now!

I’ll try to have a longer post ready tomorrow! God bless you in your fight!

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Hey, I hope that everyone is doing fine today! Today has been pretty good so far. It hasn’t been a perfect day, but I’ve had much worse days than today, and I thank God very humbly for today!

So I’ve talked about how much that this addiction steals from us, and one of the things that I think this thing steals from us is our laughter. I see so many people that are dealing with this that you can tell there’s just no joy in their life. And I can say that, because I’ve been that person many times in my journey. And to a great degree, we feel like we have no right to be happy, because we have this awful thing that we’re struggling with. Many times, I’ve thought that I didn’t deserve to be happy, because I was failing so miserably with this. And then, as crazy as this sounds, I felt like if I was too happy, I’d end up failing somehow, and just let myself down again.

I believe that both of these thoughts have some fallacy in them. Again, this struggle is about dismantling lies, and reinstating truth in their place.

First, while I may not “deserve to be happy”, when you get down to it, none of us “deserve” to be happy. We’ve all done terrible things. We’ve all sinned. And if you’re reading this, then you, like myself, have probably fallen to this temptation in the past. But the good news is that God hasn’t given us what we “deserve”; to those that trust in Him, He gives grace! I think of a quote from A Christmas Carol, starring Alastair Sim. At the end, when he wakes up on Christmas morning, and realizes that he has been given a second chance at life, his heart is so filled with joy. And in the middle of all this, he says to himself, “I don’t deserve to be so happy…But I can’t help it! I just can’t help it!”. And that’s the attitude that I think we should have. Every day that we wake up, and take another breath, is another “Christmas Morning” that we are given a chance to do better! In light of our past failures, it may be hard to feel happy; but in light of God’s merciful grace, we can be happy, even though we don’t deserve to be so happy!

And then secondly, what causes us to fail isn’t our happiness. Overconfidence? Yes. Pleasure-seeking (in the wrong way)? Yes. But just the fact of you being happy isn’t what causes you (or me) to fail. But rather, seeking for happiness in the wrong place. One of the lies that we believe that keeps us in this addiction is that there is no greater pleasure than what comes from pornography or masturbation. But the problem is that the pleasure that comes from it isn’t worth it. If I told you of a way you could make $50, but you’d have to spend $200 to make that $50, you’d think I was crazy, because the expense was more than the profit. And that’s how this thing works: the expense of happiness and peace, is more than the profit of “3-5 seconds of pleasure”.

However, when we find happiness in the right place, it far surpasses what we find in pornography and masturbation. Chiefly, I believe that we find this happiness in God. Even the Psalmist says in Psalm 16:11, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”. Even in the little gifts that God allows us to enjoy, I believe we can find happiness, because they are a gift from Him! In Ecclesiastes 2:24, Solomon writes, “There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.” Never underestimate the little things that you have in life: even the joy!

I don’t mean to say that we should be slack in our fight, or that we shouldn’t be serious. But I am saying that we don’t have to go around looking like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets!
Sam The Eagle
(Sam doesn’t look very happy. :joy:)

And don’t get me wrong, I know that people struggle with depression for various reasons, and that what I’ve said isn’t a comprehensive list of all those reasons. If you need medical attention, by all means, get help! I’m not meaning to downplay your struggle by saying, “You just need to cheer up!”, I’ve heard enough of that kind of advice, and it often doesn’t help. Sometimes it feels like nothing is going right in life. But just look around, and look for even the slightest spark of something that’s going right. Even if it’s only a spark, don’t extinguish it! Maybe you’ve failed in a streak recently. No matter the length of that streak, just remember that was time that pornography or masturbation didn’t get from you! It’s hard to find joy sometimes in our lives, but that just makes it all the more precious when we find it!

I hope that something here has been an encouragement to you! God bless you in your fight!

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Hey! I hope everyone is doing well! Overall, today has been a good day. Now last night, I had a pretty strong urge, in fact, it was the kind of urge that usually would have caused me to relapse. But I didn’t look up anything, nor engage in masturbation. I just kept reminding myself what I’ve learned over the past few days, and after a few minutes, I actually just fell asleep. I give full credit to God for helping me through that battle! But I know that’s not the last battle that I’ll have. I’ve still got a long way to go. But on that note, I’m almost to Day 20! I’m very thankful to have made it this far! I’ve said it before, I don’t deserve to have made it this far, but I’m humbly grateful to God for His mercy in helping me to make it this many days!

Keep me in your prayers! I know that some of y’all already pray for me to overcome this addiction to masturbation, and I appreciate it! Continue to pray that I’d handle my emotions right in my daily life. I’ve wrote about them before, and I believe that’s a big stronghold in my life: letting my emotions rule me. So much of the time I’ve turned to masturbation as a comforting friend when I was unable to handle my emotions properly, and I don’t want to keep doing that. It’s not as hard as it was at one time, but I know that even now there’s a temptation to turn back to it. It’s like a toxic friend that keeps messaging you, and trying to get back into your life. It brings up the good times that you had together, and indeed, you may remember how it relieved you for a few seconds of life’s everyday worries. But what it hopes that you’ve forgotten is the pain and anguish, and all the anxiety that it brought into your life! The relationship between you and masturbation is one that should remain severed! Don’t give it “just one more chance”. It had it’s chance, and it’s proven itself an untrustworthy friend! It’ll come, again and again with opportunities to come back into your life; but just keep answering with the same negatory response to it!

As I say a lot of times, I’m not just writing this down for others to read; I also need reminding of these things as well, and it has helped me to write them here, and to even think on what I’ve written here. Thank you, to all of y’all that read these, and pray for me, and encourage me in my fight! May God bless you in your fight!

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Hey! I hope everyone is doing well! Today is a sort of a milestone. I have made it to 20 days as of today! I know, most of y’all are probably thinking, “Big whoop! That’s not a lot.”; but for me, that’s not bad at all! Before I started this time, I was having trouble making it past 10 days, so to make it to twice that is an improvement! I give full credit to God for His help in this fight! I’m also very thankful to all of y’all that have been an encouragement to me!

So I’ve talked about lately what masturbation steals from us, and last time I talked about how it steals our happiness. This time, I’d like to talk about how masturbation, and even in my realm of things, macrophilia, steals our intellect from us.

Now before I get started, I’m not here calling everyone here that’s struggling “a bunch of idiots”. I’m not here to talk trash about anyone, or to put anyone down. I’m in the same boat, and I am not looking down my nose at anyone, here. But what I do want to do, is to get us to take a look at what this addiction is doing to us.

I’ll start with me on this subject. Something that I’ve noticed within macrophilic materials is that aside from it being cruel, mean-spirited, and even demeaning, it also is kinda dumb. I mean, when you’re in the moment and you’re all excited and everything, it seems so sensual and pleasurable. But when you strip away the dopamine rush and take another look at just what you’re fantasizing about, it’s really kinda stupid. Much of the dialogue is poorly written, the plot doesn’t really make sense, and even the character’s motivations when you get down to it is kinda stupid. Not only do I say this about what other content creators put out in this genre, but I also say that about the content that we create in our minds: our fantasies. I know that a lot of what I’ve fantasized about would make a B-Movie look like an Academy Award nominee.

Now if I’m just here to talk trash about what we’re addicted to, and that’s all, then this would be a pretty crummy post. After all, a lot of us struggle with self-esteem, knowing that we struggle with something like this. But that’s not the point. What makes this so bad is not just the material, but that we’re capable of so much more! God has blessed us with a mind, and it’s not something that we’re to take lightly! Our minds have such a great potential! We can think up all kinds of ways to either improve ourselves, or even to improve the welfare of those around us. And it doesn’t take a whole lot of brains to do it, either. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to be able to make a change in your own life; neither do you have to be a brain surgeon to change the outlook of someone else. Now I don’t say that to limit us, either. You never know what you can be until you put forth the effort, and try! But either way, we’ll never know what our full potential is as long as we let this thing corrode our minds away.

You’ve probably heard people talk about something being “brain rot”, and I believe pornography and macrophilia to be the ultimate brain rot, because they sell you nothing, and convince you that you’re getting something great out of the deal. It’s like trading in a Rolex watch for a crayon drawing of a clock. That’s masturbation in a nutshell! Nobody would be crazy enough to make such a trade; yet we trade our intellect and our mind for 3-5 seconds of “pleasure”, which is a way worse deal.

I know that tonight’s thought may not be too deep (maybe I need to put my mind to better use :joy:) but I hope what I’ve said makes sense, and inspires you to look at this thing in a different light. Like I keep saying, masturbation presents itself as a supportive best friend, when it’s really a blood-sucking leach! It really is robbing us blind of so many things in life. It’s time we stopped it!

God bless you in your fight!

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Hey, I hope everyone is doing well tonight! Today went pretty well! I had a small urge first thing this morning, but I fought it off pretty easily. I’m very thankful for your prayers for me in this fight! I don’t know where I’d be without them! And I’m also thankful to God for His mercy and grace towards me in this fight, and His continual leading in my life!

So I’ve been talking about what masturbation steals from us, and last time I talked about it stealing our intellect. It really is like that meme of the guy putting on clown makeup.


Anyways, this time, I’d like to talk about how pornography and masturbation steal our sanity from us. Now some of y’all are probably saying, “Um, user1234567890, you kinda already covered that. You know, intellect, sanity, it’s the same thing, isn’t it?”. Well, depending on your definition of it. In this case, maybe another term for what I’m talking about is our “peace of mind”.

I guess I’ll give my experience with it. I don’t like to lump everyone together, because I know we’ve had various experiences with this thing; but if there’s anything in my story that can resonate with yours, then maybe it’ll be a help to you, too!

I know that even from the time that I first started, I would often wonder if anyone else in my family knew what I was doing behind closed doors. So many times I’d open my bedroom door, or the bathroom door, and be ashamed to look anyone in the face, knowing what I had just done. And it’s bad enough having the secret of doing it to begin with; but then I was also hiding the fact that much of the time I wasn’t doing much to stop the behavior. Oh, sure, I’d maybe throw in a quick prayer to ease my conscience; but in all honesty, I had given up hope of ever changing. I figured that even though I knew what I was doing didn’t align with my belief system, there wasn’t a whole lot I could do to fix it (well, outside of getting married, but that was a false belief that I held that we’ll talk about a different time).

The problem is that you can’t act against what you know to be true for very long without it wearing at your mentality. It truly feels like you’re going insane! Many of you, I’m sure, can at least relate to that feeling. Even the scriptures says in Proverbs 28:1, “The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” (and no, that’s not a verse that proves that jogging is a sin :joy: ). Sin will work on your mentality until it makes you like this man who’s practically running away from his own shadow. I know that many times I was afraid to even look at myself in the mirror. And for the longest time (I won’t go into any vivid detail) I would have thoughts of self-harm. I felt like I couldn’t escape this thing, and yet I knew it to be wrong. Even when I would go to sources that said masturbation was alright and normal, and even try to convince myself that it was okay, I knew deep down inside that it was wrong, and most importantly that it went against God’s will for my life.

On the other side of the coin, staying away from macrophilia and masturbation, and not giving in to my fantasies, gave me the exact opposite experience. There is a great feeling of peace and serenity that comes from, as Solomon puts it, confessing and forsaking this sin (See Proverbs 28:13)! One of the things that I’ve enjoyed the most about the past 3 weeks is being able to walk around without the guilt that comes with regularly engaging in masturbation! I talked about walking out of my bedroom or the bathroom with guilty thoughts; just the absence of that feels so tremendously good! Another thing; I’ve talked about how in the past, I’ve used masturbation as a coping mechanism for my bad feelings. It feels wonderful to know that I can, with the Lord’s help, process these feelings and actually handle them, without trying to numb them with masturbation or fantasies! Now as I’ve said before, I’m not above falling, and I don’t want to fill my heart with pride and conceit; but I’m just trying to say that I’ve really enjoyed that feeling of peace that I’ve experienced over the past 3 weeks, and I humbly thank God for being merciful to me, and giving me one more chance!

I mentioned masturbation not being part of God’s will for my life, and in light of this effect that it has on our mentality, I don’t believe that it’s a part of God’s will for anyone’s life, including yours. Once again, the scriptures say, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”. I’m not putting down people with legitimate mental problems; by all means, get any medical attention that you need! But as I said, this thing has an effect on our minds, and I believe that God wants us to have a sound mind. I think of the story of the demoniac who Jesus healed, and how it says that when they found him, he was seated at the feet of Jesus, “…clothed, and in his right mind…” (Luke 8:35). I believe this is one of the many reasons that we should avoid PMO, because it erodes away our mentality: not just in intellect, but in our sanity. My prayer for you in your fight, is that as you progress, that God would grant you that sound mind that comes from leaving this sin behind! Never forget to seek Him in your fight! Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.”. Consider that an open invitation!

God bless you in your fight!

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Good evening! (I feel like Alfred Hitchcock saying that :joy:) I hope everyone is doing fine! Today, for me, has been good overall; but I will say that I’ve struggled more with sexual thoughts. I’ve not necessarily had more of a desire to act on those thoughts, but I’ve certainly had some intrusive thoughts today. But I’ve still fought them off when they’ve come up! I know that they say that somewhere in the middle of this thing that the urges will get stronger, but I’m still handling them with prayer, and by questioning these thoughts and feelings.

So I’ve been talking about what masturbation steals from us, and last time I talked about it stealing our peace of mind, or, our sanity. Tonight, I’d like to talk about how masturbation steals our strength.

Now to some, this might seem almost laughable, because so many people think of PMO as taking charge of their sexuality. However, nothing could be farther from the truth! When we’re giving in to PMO, or even to our fantasies (such as macrophilia), we are more powerless over our lives, especially over our sexuality! The truth is that we’re not really in control of anything when we’re giving in to masturbation: LUST is!

I was watching Pinocchio the other day, and the scene with the boys on Pleasure Island really does parallel our lives with this addiction. All those boys thought that by leaving their parents and giving into their desires to drink, smoke, fight, even vandalize property, they were really free; but what they thought of as their freedom ended up being the very thing that enslaved them. As you know, if you’ve watched the movie (and if you’ve not, then **Spoiler alert ** :smile: ), all of the boys on Pleasure Island end up turning into donkeys, and being sold!
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This is a perfect example of what PMO does to us! Many people will tell you, “Oh, it’s alright to PMO! It’s actually healthy! Anyone who tells you it’s wrong is just repressing you!” But by giving in, we really do make a fool out of ourselves, and give our power over to it! As one man said, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go , keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.”. Paul says in Romans 6:16, “Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?”. In other words, whoever, or whatever you give yourself over to, you become its servant, and it becomes your master. It’s even in the name of it: MASTER-bate (yes, I know it’s not spelled that way, you know what I mean :joy:). But on the serious side, it really is in control as long as we give ourselves to it.

However, Brother Paul doesn’t leave us in the position of powerlessness. As a matter of fact, just a few verses down, he says to us, “…for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.”. Now I work at a pharmaceutical factory that makes IV bags for dialysis. As long as I keep going into work, and showing up on time, and doing what they tell me to, I am still an employee of that company. In other words, I’m a servant to that company. But let’s say that I find a job somewhere else, and go to work for that place. Then I become an employee, or a servant, of that company. I believe this is an example of what Paul is talking about with sin. As long as we keep showing up, and reporting to our desires, and meeting their demand (or, yielding ourselves to it, as Paul says), it’ll keep on dominating our life. But if we yield ourselves to God, and to what He says about it, we’re no longer in bondage to it!

One more verse, and then I’ll shut up for tonight. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:12, “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” Just because we can do it, doesn’t mean that we should do it! Let’s stop giving masturbation our power!

God bless you in your fight!

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Gonna hang that on my wall.

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@CoffeeMan I’m glad it was a help to you! :blush: Thank you!

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Hey! I hope everyone is doing well this evening! Today went pretty good! The battle wasn’t as hard today, but I’m not letting my guard down. Just because today was easy doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t be hard! Peter warns us in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”. But I will thank God for the day that I’ve had, and trust Him with the tomorrow that lies before me!

So again, I’ve been talking about that old thief, masturbation, and I’ve been talking about what it’s stolen from us. Tonight, I’d like to talk about how it steals our self-respect. Now before I handle this topic, I want to say that I want to handle it in the right manner. I know that in today’s culture it seems that when we talk about our self-esteem, or self-worth, there are a lot of people that take it to narcissistic levels, and that is not my intention with this. (We’re definitely not going for Gaston vibes here :joy:)

However, masturbation causes us to treat ourselves with disrespect. When we increase our participation in PMO, knowing what it does to our mental well-being (as I talked about previously), can you really say that we’re treating ourselves with due respect?

It makes me think of the drunkard that’s mentioned in Proverbs 23:29-35, “Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things. Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast. They have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it not: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again.”.

In spite of the effects that drunkenness has had on him, and all that it’s caused him to do, he’s ready to go looking for it just as soon as he can. But how much better are we than this man? I know that many guys on here have talked about having multiple relapses in a single day, and I’m ashamed to say that in the past I have done that on different occasions. :disappointed: We do these things in spite of the destruction that it brings on our souls! Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

Now I hear you. You say, “Yeah, but that’s just me. That don’t effect anyone else.” And to that, I would say, “You’re wrong!” Again, Paul, in giving instruction for husbands to love their wives, he says, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” (Ephesians 5:28-29). He tells them to love their wives in the same way that they take care of themselves. If we don’t even treat ourselves with self-respect, what makes us think that we will treat anyone else with better care?

One more reason that we should treat ourselves with self-respect: because of whose we are! Paul writes again (boy, Paul sure did write a lot of stuff!:joy: Anyways,) in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”. You wouldn’t go out deliberately to harm another human being, because they are made in the image of God; yet that’s what you do when you disregard your own well-being! If you’ve trusted Christ as your Saviour, then consider that by continuing down this path, you’re treating with disrespect one of His dear children that He paid a tremendous price for on the Cross! We’re not our own; we are His dear children, and we should treat ourselves as such!

Lastly, let me leave you with one more verse that should be a guideline to us as we try to have self-respect, while not filling our hearts with conceit. Romans 12:3 says, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”. We have our faults and failures, and we’re not perfect; but we’re not garbage, either! Let’s remember who we are, and whose we are! God bless you in your fight!

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